I´m struggling

[anatrusts]

Hi all,
I´ve been struggling with eating disorders for several years . I feel really bad about it and sometimes don´t know what to do. I´ve prayed a lot, and I´ve been a lot better lately, but it hasn´t been a good day today…i´m afraid because i feel everything is going to start over again…i also feel really bad because i don´t know if i´m sinning every time i have a crisis, should I confess it? Should I pray to a particular Saint?
Thanks so much

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Have you had the eating disordered assessed?

Sometimes physical problems, such as metabolism problems, can be part of the problem.

Sometimes its pyschological problems, such as eating under stress.

Sometimes its spiritual problems, such as overemphasis on physical beauty.

Combinations also occur and need to be properly identified to work out a long term treatment.

Understanding the problem, helps you better work on dealing with it.

 

[JCPhoenix]

An eating disorder is not something you can handle on your own. It is classified as an obsessive-compulsive disorder officially…and there are different degrees.

At this point, if you haven’t been recieving professional treatment, then you are committing a sin. We all have a moral duty to protect the lives that God gave us, and your illness can lead not only to your physical death, but spiritual death.

If you are seeking treatment, please discuss this with your therapist or some other trusted medical/psychological authority. Discuss this with your priest. And if your therapist is not Catholic, try to find a catholic therapist. (I think the website is www.catholictherapists.com )

A lot of employers have EAP’s which you can contact…their job is phone counseling, and can set up to 3 appointments for you, and that interim person would, if necessary, refer you to a long term therapist.

Please get help for this, and ideally with someone who can assist you in all parts of your life. It may take more than one person, and please keep praying…because no treatment is really effective in the long term if you don’t include Jesus.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

JCPhoenix:

At this point, if you haven’t been recieving professional treatment, then you are committing a sin. We all have a moral duty to protect the lives that God gave us, and your illness can lead not only to your physical death, but spiritual death.

It could be committing a sin depending on the reasons, the hold the disorder has on the person, the financial situation of the person (I for one cannot afford health care and have many problems I want to treat and can’t. This is not sinful for me.), the degree the individual understand the moral obligation to take care of oneself.

Treatment can come in many forms depending on the disorder. First is it necessary to recognize the disorder (which I believe the struggler has), second it is necessary to realize that one needs help with it (the outreach to this board so some inclination in that direction, maybe more is needed), third to get help in discovering the causes for it, fourth to get help in treating the causes for it, fifth to get help in treating the effects of it.

 

[prodigal]

I will keep you in my prayers. Please keep us updated.

 

[Scanner]

I agree with the previous posters. It is beyond the scope of this forum to help you. A priest will determine if you are sinning or not and be the authority on that but my guess as a layman is you are probably capitally sinning.

I will share with you though. I struggled for years in controlling my weight trying to eat low fat, high carbohydrate diets. Because of the wild swings in blood sugar, I would often binge late at night on foods. And when I mean binge, I would hit the convenience store with a vengenence

Thus spiritually, I was committing a capital sin of gluttony. Then, when I looked at my body, it was a matter of pride and vanity, seeing a body I knew I didn’t belong in. I felt horrible and guilty about the whole thing, which of course, is what Satan wants.

Well, I recently discovered the Atkins Nutritional Approach and what was right for me physically transformed me spiritually. That is the magical thing about being human - we are spirtual beings having a physical experience.

I no longer binge, I have lost weight (52 pounds), although still exist as a meaty guy (and my lady likes that and society will have to learn to like it) but spiritually, the vanity of having a 6 pack-ab and awesome body is gone. And I can participate in fasting more easily, which helps develop me spiritually. I am happy with this shell God has given me (kinda like a meaty, balding Tom Hanks .

Anyway, the Atkin’s Approach is very strict diet, but one that’s not about constant deprivation and hunger. It’s not a magic bullet for all eating disorders, and I don’t know what yours are, but something I would advise you check out and perhaps adopt as your Nutritional Approach to nourishing your body.

Anyway, I wish you luck.

 

[anatrusts]

First of all, thank you so much for your replies and prayers.

I don’t sin of gluttony but of not eating, so I guess I sin hurting my body and my mom…I don’t know, it’s so complex and complicated. It’s not just something physical but like a wound in the soul. I feel God’s the only one who knows what I’m really going through, the one who understands my suffering. He´s who can really help me.

Thanks again and may God bless you all.

 

[St.Ambrose]

anatrusts:

First of all, thank you so much for your replies and prayers.

…I feel God’s the only one who knows what I’m really going through, the one who understands my suffering. He´s who can really help me.

Thanks again and may God bless you all.

I would like to point out that when we have physical ailments we can trust God for healing but would be foolish to refuse to see a doctor.

Most of the replies included the observation that you should seek professional help in dealing with this disorder. If you could beat this on your own (with God’s help) then that would be great – but you’ve indicated that you have tried and not succeeded. Professional help and support groups are usually indicated as part of the cure for things like this problem.

I hate to see you keep trying on your own and failing without availing yourself of the many resources that exist to help you. Please re-consider availing yourself of professional help as you seek God’s assistance.

You’d go see a doctor if you were physically ill even while you prayed for healing.

 

[parishminister]

If you don’t know who to go to for help, or don’t feel comfortable calling directly, talk to someone in your parish or a friend you can trust to help you get the professional help you need. I know it’s not always easy to reach out to people when faced with these types of problems, but don’t wait! Pray for the strength to reach out to someone who can help you, now!

I will pray for your intentions. Take care of yourself! God loves you, just the way you are, remember that!

 

[petra]

Ana, I had an eating disorder when I was in my early 20’s. It is VERY complex. As other’s have mentioned, you need to get professional medical care, counseling, and spiritual guidance. We, as individuals, are comprised of a body, a soul, and a spirit. When one area becomes “sick” it often profoundly affects the other areas of our being.

This is not meant to be advice necessarily, because I don’t know you’re background or medical condition. But I got a lot of benefit from the 12-step program. The 12-steps is a process through which you admit your powerlessness over your problem, surrender your will completely to God, and let Him walk you through a spiritual healing which includes an honest self-analysis, making a full confession to God and someone else (like a priest), making amends to people as appropriate, and then living a life of service to others. The steps themselves address emotional and spiritual issues.

Concurrent to working the steps, individuals in the recovery process should abstain from the destructive behavior. The program provides many helpful resources to help people make it ‘one day at a time’. Besides obvious health concerns, arresting the destructive behavior is very important because you can’t get the full emotional and spiritual benefit from working the steps unless you’re abstinent. This is because addictive and destructive behaviors tend to distort our ability to be honest with ourself and God. Also some behaviors, such as purging or starving, affect the brain’s ability to even function properly. The steps and abstinence work together. It is difficult to abstain very well without the steps and it is difficult work the steps very well without abstinence.

The 12-step program for eating disordered people is called Overeaters Anonymous. Don’t let the title fool you – there are many anorexics and bulimics in the program. And if you decide to check it out, don’t be put off if the particular meeting you attend only has overweight people. You’ll be able to learn and receive encouragement from many types of members. Don’t judge them either. They may have actually have their life in order and may have lost a lot of weight already. Larger cities often have special OA meetings for bulimics or anorexics. Members will be able to direct you to the best meetings. Try to find a Christian to be your sponsor (mentor).

Finally, I want to reiterate that if you are purging or are seriously underweight, you need to seek medical help immediately. Both conditions can lead to heart attack and sudden death.

Feel free to email me if you would like: suzies@iwvisp.com

I’ll be praying for you!

 

[Max]

but spiritually, the vanity of having a 6 pack-ab and awesome body is gone.

Whoa, hold on a sec…there’s something wrong with wanting and trying to work for a 6 pack and awesome body? I thought it was good to be in good shape…?

 

[JCPhoenix]

anatrusts:

First of all, thank you so much for your replies and prayers.

I don’t sin of gluttony but of not eating, so I guess I sin hurting my body and my mom…I don’t know, it’s so complex and complicated. It’s not just something physical but like a wound in the soul. I feel God’s the only one who knows what I’m really going through, the one who understands my suffering. He´s who can really help me…

This reminds me of a story…you may have heard it but in any case you’re giving us the same theme:

A man’s boat sank and he treaded water in the middle of the lake. Being faithful, he prayed to God to save him. Shortly thereafter another boater offered him an oar and a hand into his own boat. The treading man refused, stating, "I prayed, and God is going to save me. "

The boater left in frustration. Another boater arrived, offering him a lifejacket. The treading man refused, stating, "God is going to save me. "

A lifeguard swam out with a bouy, but the treading man refused, stating, “God is going to save me.”

Finally, the man, unable to continue treading and having refused all offers of help, he succomed to the waters and drowned.

He got to the pearly gates and met God, then demanded to know why God didn’t save him.

God just raised his eyebrow and said, “Why do you think I sent ALL THOSE PEOPLE TO HELP YOU?”

Please, seek professional help. God sent you here and you came…now please take the next step. It’s true that none of us can judge your sinfulness…but we can judge, from your post and some from experience that you need more than just prayer.

Even miracles orchestrated by God use people to carry them out.

 

[ATeNumquam]

anatrusts:

. It’s not just something physical but like a wound in the soul. I feel God’s the only one who knows what I’m really going through, the one who understands my suffering. He´s who can really help me.

Dear Anatrusts - I feel for you very deeply and have been praying for you since I read your first post. I agree with the previous posters that your sort of eating disorder really needs professional help, but I’d like to stress a couple of things.
Don’t despair, EVER. It may take a few attempts to beat your problem, but as one who had an eating disorder of a different sort for 14 years, and failed about 12 times (I mean, periods of about 3 months at a time of conquering it before relapsing) - I say, never think it’s hopeless. I have, thank God, been free of it for some years, and don’t ever want to go back there. But it can only be done with God’s help - more of that later.
Secondly, I don’t know if it is of any help to think of it in terms of sin. That seems a bit harsh, to me, as one who would not have been able to cope with the added burden of that thought when I was in that place.
Someone with an eating disorder knows how helpless and weak they are - so that’s an ideal jumping-off point for a deep relationship with God. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”. Poverty of spirit is knowing your need of God.
Here’s a verse from Ps. 90:14 to keep in mind: “Since (s)he clings to me in love, I will free him(her)”. (Ps. 91 in some translations).That emptiness within that you feel is waiting to be filled by God. He wants you to “cling to” Him, and He will fill that inner emptiness.
When you get panicky about food (which I suppose is often), just calmly and quietly entrust yourself totally to God - He is closer to you than your own breathing - He dwells within you -
(Jn. 15:4). Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 3:16) so you need to respect and love your body and nourish it for God’s sake.
No one will ever love you more than He does, and He never takes His eyes off you.
I hope you will keep in touch with us on this board as well as seeking professional help. We are here for you with our prayers!

 

[sweety]

This is an addiction, there is no good addiction.
Addiction is a tool used by the enemy. Talk to a priest and get the sacrament of the sick.

 

[Scanner]

Whoa, hold on a sec…there’s something wrong with wanting and trying to work for a 6 pack and awesome body? I thought it was good to be in good shape…?

In my opinion, yes, it is good to be in shape. But if your only reason to get into shape is for vanity, I think it is wrong and ultimately doomed for a lot of people.

I find a lot of people are worshipping their own bodies (and others) lately.

Yes, being in good shape is a good goal; I have nothing against that and participate in exercise regularly ( I love to swim about 1/2 to a 1 mile 3-5X/week). But I’d rather have an extra 10 pounds around the tummy and not have the obsession/worshipping of my body than have the 6-pack abs and be constantly devoting my life to maintaining a vain appearance.

I swim because I like to, because I am good at it, and because I can go to races 2x/year for socialization and for competition. I don’t swim to make my body look better.

Swimmers are a curious bunch actually. You would think being in bathing suits we would be very, very vain but I go these races and there are old, fat, gray hairy men there laughing it up and having a good time (some of whom swim faster than me). That will probably be me in 30 years God willing

 

[Max]

In my opinion, yes, it is good to be in shape. But if your only reason to get into shape is for vanity, I think it is wrong and ultimately doomed for a lot of people.

So, trying to get six pack abs and a good body to have a better chance of attracting the girl I like is a sin?..

 

[JCPhoenix]

Max:

So, trying to get six pack abs and a good body to have a better chance of attracting the girl I like is a sin?..

Any intelligent and self respecting girl is going to see the six pack abs for what they are…a transitory state. They are good for physical attraction, which admittly is important in a relationship, but not something real love is based upon.

Work out, enjoy your work outs, enjoy looking good while you can, but if you are doing it only to “attract” the opposite gender, you’re doing it all wrong and the resultant relationship will be as transitory as your physical condition. Look good, feel good, be healthy in body mind and spirit, and that will attract and lead you to the best person for you.

Oh, and FYI, you know how some guys think a really attractive girl/woman is intimidating, especially when she’s in fantastic physical condition? Yeah, that goes for us ladies, too. When we meet a guy who is wrapped up in his six pack abs, we know he’s not interested in us…only in what he can get into us.

Just be yourself. A healthy self, not a workout guru. That route doesn’t work for either gender unless you’re loooking for a fling…and we all know that’s a sin against God.