C
CRATUS
Guest
Why is it so hard to change? I was given a great homily today on patience. We should strive to change, why does holiness take so long? I want to be a saint. I love saints - reading about them. I love going to church. I love religion. I still love my sins too even though I know they are wrong. I wish to be just like Jesus but I am scared of what all that entails. When I look in the mirror, there is so much to change. I am more afraid of the truth than lies. Why can’t live in oblivion or ignorance of God so I can be blind from my convictions? I feel my personality was meant to follow God. Jesus is probably one thing in my life that I actually do not give up on. I cannot think of rational argument to persuade people to believe in God. I just feel his presence. I wish I thought more quantifiable. I “feel” God if that makes any sense. I am always left thinking where do I begin. Am I really that sinful? My relationship with Jesus is not solid, I am honestly afraid to hear what Jesus might say. Sometimes I am closer but I easily and knowingly drift away.