I am developing a bitter view on the world

[redbetta]

Basically, I will be a senior in high school this fall and I have this summer to prepare to be kicked into a world that is looking increasingly like a minefield every day once I graduate. I have been reading about the Faith, but I cannot help but feel discouraged when I think about how I might be put on the spot. From reading on this forum and in comment boxes all over the Internet, how am I to respond to anger and/or indignation people will feel towards me if they find out what I believe? How am I to respond to individualism? People will tell me they are happy following their own rules and not answering to anyone else and, I get the feeling that the idea out there is that personal happiness is the highest good to strive for in life.

I would try in my defense to make a point that just because it makes you happy, it does not mean that it is good. But, I have a feeling that people are just going to tell me, “How would you know? You have no friends and are rarely happy yourself.” This idea haunts me because I have a lot of personal insecurities and a lot of tension between my mother and I. Since we are all home on the weekends, I often go to mass in a foul mood from something that happened earlier that morning or the previous day. I feel as though that I am either not being a good Christian because I am not filled with the joy I ought to have or people will take me as evidence against my religion. A visitor at mas might see me so grim and conclude that it is all a sham. There was another thread in which someone asked why a lot of Catholics look less than happy at mass and it hit me that I might be hurting my cause, but I do not know how to stop.

And there is that blurry line between compassion and permissiveness. I know that we should have compassion for others, but I find it hard to be emphatic since I do not have a lot of close relationships and I do not care much for pathos. But what am I to do if I disapprove of something as immoral, when asked my opinion, and someone tell me I lack compassion?

By the way, how important is happiness anyway? How good is it as a measuring rod for life? It seems to me that finding and understanding Truth and learning ought to take precedence over personal happiness. I really distrust emotions, as I have mentioned in previous threads. I have often contemplated being single the rest of my life and never bother dating since the world seems like a mine field and people will get pissed of me even though I try to avoid trouble and keep my mouth shut.

I want to be a good Catholic, but is life really that bad in the real world? Are people just going to get mad at me or say offensive things toward me frequently? I do not go out much and I am only 17, so I am fearful, but unsure about what I will encounter on my own. Right now, nobody in school knows how orthodox I am, and if it comes out, my senior year at high school would be hell.

Please pardon any typos, this is kind of rant-like, but the tension has been building up for a few days thinking about how bleak my future might look and I am the type that worries about everything. If I was inarticulate about anything, I can explain it later. Any encouragement, answers, etc. is appreciated. Thanks.

 

[blujazz25]

Happiness comes from the soul. The happiest people you will ever meet…the SAINTS.

There is a reason why people are drawn to them, because they perspire (so to speak) of Happiness! Because they have found God!

You are young, the evil one is using your youth to be in despair…do not give in!! The world is today is as bad as it seems but that should not stop us, Catholics from being the light of the world and the salt of the Earth.

Read the lives of St. Maria Gorretti, St. Dominic Savio, St. Agnes and Felicity…these are young saints…and I know that there are many more! Let them be your inspiration, let them be your prayer warriors too…they know what it feels like to be young and on fire for Christ. They got persecuted for it.

Face these challenges with Christ…because I am not going to sugar coat it, its bound to get harder. That is why this world is called the valley of tears. Even us as young, married adults…we get persecuted too, we get to be called bigots that are judgmental because we believe in the sanctity of marriage and life. But we trudge on, pray for our persecutors just as what Jesus did. When it comes to vocations, bring God in. He has plans for everyone, if He is meant for you to be married, He will bring a suitable partner in His own timing. Its hard to just blindly trust, but believe me He ALWAYS pulls through if you bring these things up to Him.

And perhaps with you being on fire like this, its time to re evaluate your relationships. We do not have many friends but we have friends who inspire us to be stronger and be faithful. Find friends who inspire you and bring you closer to God not away. Be active in your parish for starters.

When it comes to reasoning out your faith…remember 1Peter 3:15
The most beautiful thing we discovered about being Catholic is that we not only have God, the Church, and the Magesterium on our side, but we have our basic human function on our side…our logic and reasoning, we can defend our faith just by using our own brains, you do not need bible verses (not unless the person bought it up).

God bless on your faith journey!

 

[Luvz2travel]

It’s hard not too sometimes.

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Basically, I will be a senior in high school this fall and I have this summer to prepare to be kicked into a world that is looking increasingly like a minefield every day once I graduate. I have been reading about the Faith, but I cannot help but feel discouraged when I think about how I might be put on the spot. From reading on this forum and in comment boxes all over the Internet, how am I to respond to anger and/or indignation people will feel towards me if they find out what I believe? How am I to respond to individualism? People will tell me they are happy following their own rules and not answering to anyone else and, I get the feeling that the idea out there is that personal happiness is the highest good to strive for in life.

I would try in my defense to make a point that just because it makes you happy, it does not mean that it is good. But, I have a feeling that people are just going to tell me, “How would you know? You have no friends and are rarely happy yourself.” This idea haunts me because I have a lot of personal insecurities and a lot of tension between my mother and I. Since we are all home on the weekends, I often go to mass in a foul mood from something that happened earlier that morning or the previous day. I feel as though that I am either not being a good Christian because I am not filled with the joy I ought to have or people will take me as evidence against my religion. A visitor at mas might see me so grim and conclude that it is all a sham. There was another thread in which someone asked why a lot of Catholics look less than happy at mass and it hit me that I might be hurting my cause, but I do not know how to stop.

And there is that blurry line between compassion and permissiveness. I know that we should have compassion for others, but I find it hard to be emphatic since I do not have a lot of close relationships and I do not care much for pathos. But what am I to do if I disapprove of something as immoral, when asked my opinion, and someone tell me I lack compassion?

By the way, how important is happiness anyway? How good is it as a measuring rod for life? It seems to me that finding and understanding Truth and learning ought to take precedence over personal happiness. I really distrust emotions, as I have mentioned in previous threads. I have often contemplated being single the rest of my life and never bother dating since the world seems like a mine field and people will get pissed of me even though I try to avoid trouble and keep my mouth shut.

I want to be a good Catholic, but is life really that bad in the real world? Are people just going to get mad at me or say offensive things toward me frequently? I do not go out much and I am only 17, so I am fearful, but unsure about what I will encounter on my own. Right now, nobody in school knows how orthodox I am, and if it comes out, my senior year at high school would be hell.

Please pardon any typos, this is kind of rant-like, but the tension has been building up for a few days thinking about how bleak my future might look and I am the type that worries about everything. If I was inarticulate about anything, I can explain it later. Any encouragement, answers, etc. is appreciated. Thanks.

This is rather odd. I am plenty of years older than you, but I am still considered young. I feel the exact same way you do all the time. I think your assessment of the world around you is accurate, in my honest opinion. That is the way I see people. I could be wrong though. I question my faith often. What is the point in following Jesus if most people do not? If God is full of mercy and compassion, why not wait until after my youth is over to follow Christ? God calls us at different times, some earlier than others. I honestly do not know why though. I am very scared of stating my honest opinion on things because I do not want to be that “self-righteous, close-minded, intolerant” Christian that we are stereotyped to be. There are many gifts from God. I think yours is discernment. You are very aware of society and the world around you. You have a clear sense of right and wrong, but you just can not figure out why it is important or why certain things wrong. Am I right? I think I have that same gift. Message me if you want to talk

 

[EasterJoy]

If people get their knickers in a twist, the world does not come to an end. If you get your knickers in a twist, the world is not at an end, either. Angst is bad enough to feel without getting in angst over feeling angst. Take it to the Lord, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Take every burden to the Lord. If your yoke needs adjustment, the Lord is the one to do it for you.

If it helps, please know that few people are even remotely as obnoxious in real life as they are on the internet. In “real life,” people usually care what you think about them. They do not want unsolicited advice, but they do like to think others see them as decent people.

You’re going to find that you are asked your opinion rather rarely. If you don’t think there is much chance that your message will have a receptive audience,* it is ethical to just keep your mouth closed*. Our Lord said not to throw what is holy to dogs and not to throw pearls before swine partly because there is no reason to get yourself torn apart by the unconverted. It will not harm you to see others doing things you wouldn’t do, and saying nothing.

As for happiness, having joy and rejoicing are actions that you can choose. It takes practice, and you should by no means punish yourself if it takes some time to learn the habit, but rejoicing is a choice and a Christian ought to choose to be joyful:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. ** Phil 4:4-9**

Be kind to all. Think about good things. Rejoice. No talking required! St. James said that not many of us ought to be teachers, as teachers are held to a stricter account, so don’t think that keeping your mouth closed is some kind of cowardice. I think if you free yourself to let others learn what is good at their own pace, just praying for them and being kind to them, the burden you are carrying around will be far lighter.

St. Peter also had some sensible advice. Maybe you’ll suffer, but it is OK to wait until you’re asked before giving out answers to anyone else. You can back off on the person who doesn’t want to listen to the Gospel. That is the kind of “orthodoxy” that might actually make you very popular!

*Finally, all of you, be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble. Do not return evil for evil, or insult for insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because to this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing. For: “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep the tongue from evil and the lips from speaking deceit, must turn from evil and do good, seek peace and follow after it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears turned to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against evildoers.”

Now who is going to harm you if you are enthusiastic for what is good? But even if you should suffer because of righteousness, blessed are you. Do not be afraid or terrified with fear of them, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil. *
1 Pet. 3:8-17

Remember: the command is to DO it, not to FEEL it. The less you try to micromanage your emotions and just take care of your actions, the less you carry the wrongs of others on your shoulders and the more you ask the Lord to carry them and send the Holy Spirit to all, the easier this will all be.

It’s hard not too sometimes.

This is a very good answer. Don’t beat yourself up, OP. If you want to be easier on the world, start with yourself. Be easier on yourself. It is OK…

 

[PelagiathePenit]

God bless you and thank you for sharing what you are going through!

You are doing a great job and bless you for going to Mass faithfully. It is easy to go to Mass when you are in a good mood and the music is beautiful and the readings touch your heart and the homily is wonderful.

Then there are the Masses when you are grumpy and feel spiritually dry and you may not like the music or the homily. THOSE are the Masses (I believe) where God’s beautiful grace abounds even though you don’t “feel” like it. Anyone can attend a Mass that touches them, it is when you don’t feel touched but attend anyway that you are showing your true and deep obedience to God and His commandments!

You are young and on fire for your faith, that is a rarity. Do not dismiss the idea that you may be under intense spiritual attack. satan hates you, and you are a prime target being young and vulnerable to suggestions that you have no chance for a happy future. satan wants you to feel discouraged and bitter, don’t let him succeed. You are a precious child of God, meant to live in the world today, right now. God has tremendous plans for you, trust in hope even though it is hard.

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you-oracle of the LORD-plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope." Jeremiah 29:11

This poster is right. It is easy to follow Christ when you are happy and things are good. It is much harder to follow God when you do not feel his presence. I think you may have more faith than you know.

 

[edwest2]

Basically, I will be a senior in high school this fall and I have this summer to prepare to be kicked into a world that is looking increasingly like a minefield every day once I graduate. I have been reading about the Faith, but I cannot help but feel discouraged when I think about how I might be put on the spot. From reading on this forum and in comment boxes all over the Internet, how am I to respond to anger and/or indignation people will feel towards me if they find out what I believe? How am I to respond to individualism? People will tell me they are happy following their own rules and not answering to anyone else and, I get the feeling that the idea out there is that personal happiness is the highest good to strive for in life.

I would try in my defense to make a point that just because it makes you happy, it does not mean that it is good. But, I have a feeling that people are just going to tell me, “How would you know? You have no friends and are rarely happy yourself.” This idea haunts me because I have a lot of personal insecurities and a lot of tension between my mother and I. Since we are all home on the weekends, I often go to mass in a foul mood from something that happened earlier that morning or the previous day. I feel as though that I am either not being a good Christian because I am not filled with the joy I ought to have or people will take me as evidence against my religion. A visitor at mas might see me so grim and conclude that it is all a sham. There was another thread in which someone asked why a lot of Catholics look less than happy at mass and it hit me that I might be hurting my cause, but I do not know how to stop.

And there is that blurry line between compassion and permissiveness. I know that we should have compassion for others, but I find it hard to be emphatic since I do not have a lot of close relationships and I do not care much for pathos. But what am I to do if I disapprove of something as immoral, when asked my opinion, and someone tell me I lack compassion?

By the way, how important is happiness anyway? How good is it as a measuring rod for life? It seems to me that finding and understanding Truth and learning ought to take precedence over personal happiness. I really distrust emotions, as I have mentioned in previous threads. I have often contemplated being single the rest of my life and never bother dating since the world seems like a mine field and people will get pissed of me even though I try to avoid trouble and keep my mouth shut.

I want to be a good Catholic, but is life really that bad in the real world? Are people just going to get mad at me or say offensive things toward me frequently? I do not go out much and I am only 17, so I am fearful, but unsure about what I will encounter on my own. Right now, nobody in school knows how orthodox I am, and if it comes out, my senior year at high school would be hell.

Please pardon any typos, this is kind of rant-like, but the tension has been building up for a few days thinking about how bleak my future might look and I am the type that worries about everything. If I was inarticulate about anything, I can explain it later. Any encouragement, answers, etc. is appreciated. Thanks.

I shared some of your feelings at 17. I mean, 5 years ago, I was 12. I didn’t really know the outside world well. I got my first job a few weeks after getting out of high school. The first thought I had was that I would meet a lot of people who were just like me. That turned out to be wrong. Most were not, but you know what? I did find a few and we could talk honestly to each other about our faith and our lives.

Ay 17, I was picked on by “the cool kids” because they knew I wasn’t going to parties and smoking dope or drinking or acting ‘not Orthodox.’ They got into fights, pushed people around and some called others they thought weren’t “cool” like them names. After high school, I had nothing to do with those people anymore. I was done. It was behind me.

Worrying about everything is not good. Make some plans. Set some realistic goals for yourself. And be at peace.

When I was 18 and working, I met nice people and I met people that didn’t care to know me. That was fine. From time to time, I would ask people what they thought about God and religion. Some listened, some didn’t. A few were very religious.

In recent years, I’m meeting too many people who live like sound religious teaching doesn’t matter in some areas, particularly as it relates to sex and dating. Or they pick the parts of religion they like and don’t consider other parts. They’ll do things their way. Shacking up, living in sin and lots of casual sexual encounters. That’s the biggest problem facing our society right now - the misuse of human sexuality. When I was growing up, rule number one was: “NO sexual intercourse until marriage. PERIOD!”

Now, what have we got? Movies and TV shows that treat immoral sex and ‘living arrangements’ as “Hey. What’s the big deal?” What do you care? I’ll live how I want. It’s OK, or good or neutral. And profanity? More and more in all media. Turn your back on it.

Happiness is having friends and family and at least one true Catholic friend. God has given us a guide to happiness called the Bible. When we follow His rules, we are far less likely to get in trouble. When we act less like the world around us, be assured, it is pleasing to God. Even when we don’t speak, our actions are seen by others. We can be the good example. Not out of pride but because we are not to act like the world does.

God bless you,
Ed

 

[PelagiathePenit]

If people get their knickers in a twist, the world does not come to an end. If you get your knickers in a twist, the world is not at an end, either. Angst is bad enough to feel without getting in angst over feeling angst. Take it to the Lord, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Take every burden to the Lord. If your yoke needs adjustment, the Lord is the one to do it for you.

If it helps, please know that few people are even remotely as obnoxious in real life as they are on the internet. In “real life,” people usually care what you think about them. They do not want unsolicited advice, but they do like to think others see them as decent people.

You’re going to find that you are asked your opinion rather rarely. If you don’t think there is much chance that your message will have a receptive audience,* it is ethical to just keep your mouth closed*. Our Lord said not to throw what is holy to dogs and not to throw pearls before swine partly because there is no reason to get yourself torn apart by the unconverted. It will not harm you to see others doing things you wouldn’t do, and saying nothing.

As for happiness, having joy and rejoicing are actions that you can choose. It takes practice, and you should by no means punish yourself if it takes some time to learn the habit, but rejoicing is a choice and a Christian ought to choose to be joyful:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. ** Phil 4:4-9**

Be kind to all. Think about good things. Rejoice. No talking required! St. James said that not many of us ought to be teachers, as teachers are held to a stricter account, so don’t think that keeping your mouth closed is some kind of cowardice. I think if you free yourself to let others learn what is good at their own pace, just praying for them and being kind to them, the burden you are carrying around will be far lighter.

St. Peter also had some sensible advice. Maybe you’ll suffer, but it is OK to wait until you’re asked before giving out answers to anyone else. You can back off on the person who doesn’t want to listen to the Gospel. That is the kind of “orthodoxy” that might actually make you very popular!

*Finally, all of you, be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble. Do not return evil for evil, or insult for insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because to this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing. For: “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep the tongue from evil and the lips from speaking deceit, must turn from evil and do good, seek peace and follow after it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears turned to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against evildoers.”

Now who is going to harm you if you are enthusiastic for what is good? But even if you should suffer because of righteousness, blessed are you. Do not be afraid or terrified with fear of them, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil. *
1 Pet. 3:8-17

Remember: the command is to DO it, not to FEEL it. The less you try to micromanage your emotions and just take care of your actions, the less you carry the wrongs of others on your shoulders and the more you ask the Lord to carry them and send the Holy Spirit to all, the easier this will all be.

This is a very good answer. Don’t beat yourself up, OP. If you want to be easier on the world, start with yourself. Be easier on yourself. It is OK…

Thank You So Much For Your Answer. Even though it was not meant for me. I really love the way you answered…

 

[EasterJoy]

Thank You So Much For Your Answer. Even though it was not meant for me. I really love the way you answered…

I am very pleased to hear that.

 

[TheWiseMan]

Basically, I will be a senior in high school this fall and I have this summer to prepare to be kicked into a world that is looking increasingly like a minefield every day once I graduate.

Same here.

From reading on this forum and in comment boxes all over the Internet, how am I to respond to anger and/or indignation people will feel towards me if they find out what I believe? How am I to respond to individualism? People will tell me they are happy following their own rules and not answering to anyone else and, I get the feeling that the idea out there is that personal happiness is the highest good to strive for in life.

What I would do is that I would try not to let the opinions of other people, especially those who are clearly against what I believe in, to rule my day. So what if someone says is angered at you? Their words should mean nothing to you, as their words will only put you down verbally. Disregard what they have to say and move on.

As for individualism and the idea that personal happiness is the highest goal to strive in life, I cannot say that personal happiness is THE highest thing on one’s personal goals; athough there are some people who would certainly tell me otherwise. Why should one be able to live in luxury, when his fellow man is living in squalor? I believe that the highest good to strive for life is to do what is right, regardless if it is not socially acceptable or convienent to the personal self. And that also involves castrating out selfishness and individualism, for the greater good and posterity of all.

Selflessness and altruism towards others is like a muscle. The more one excercises it, the easier it is to be called on when it is needed the most. Selfishness can be like a bad habit at times; selflessness can also be a good one.

I would try in my defense to make a point that just because it makes you happy, it does not mean that it is good. But, I have a feeling that people are just going to tell me, “How would you know? You have no friends and are rarely happy yourself.” This idea haunts me because I have a lot of personal insecurities and a lot of tension between my mother and I.

True, not every self gratifying act that a person can do is morally just; in fact, there are some that are morally unjust, yet they are deemed as things that evoke happiness to a person. Some things are good for the individual, but such acts also do harm to those around the individual in question.

And there is that blurry line between compassion and permissiveness. I know that we should have compassion for others, but I find it hard to be emphatic since I do not have a lot of close relationships and I do not care much for pathos. But what am I to do if I disapprove of something as immoral, when asked my opinion, and someone tell me I lack compassion?

Actually, the line between compassion and permissiveness is quite solid,and not blurred. The difference being is purely a decisional matter at best. Compassion is when you show empathy towards someone because of what that person has endured, and you actually care for that person. Permissiveness is when you are tolerant of the way something is, contrary to what other people would think. At least, that’s how I look at it.

By the way, how important is happiness anyway? How good is it as a measuring rod for life? It seems to me that finding and understanding Truth and learning ought to take precedence over personal happiness. I really distrust emotions, as I have mentioned in previous threads. I have often contemplated being single the rest of my life and never bother dating since the world seems like a mine field and people will get pissed of me even though I try to avoid trouble and keep my mouth shut.

Happiness can be a lot of things. It could be the by product of the most motivating force within an individual: the certain convicton that one is truly right. It could the general satisfaction that one has done something good for the sake of others. Or it could be the result of having reverence for the past and the very mystery of life itself.

I want to be a good Catholic, but is life really that bad in the real world? Are people just going to get mad at me or say offensive things toward me frequently? I do not go out much and I am only 17, so I am fearful, but unsure about what I will encounter on my own. Right now, nobody in school knows how orthodox I am, and if it comes out, my senior year at high school would be hell.

Life is just life; we all have it at one point, and then we lose it at another. Actually, to tell you the truth, life is really beautiful.

Maybe, there’s always going to be that possiblity that someone will resent for what you believe in. But as said earlier, you should not let the opinions of others you down. You ignore the negative things that they say, and move on with life.

Hope you understand what I meant by all of this.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

You have received some very good answers and I hope you found them helpful.

I want to add one thing. Confidence is key. Confident people are rarely picked on. When people smell insecurity they will pounce on you. I suggest you pray about this, ask for confidence and strength when dealing with people.

Another thing that I’ve learned is that it is not necessary to go into detailed discussion on faith matters, unless the person genuinely wants to understand why we believe certain things. Most of the time people want to get into arguments and are not interested in learning. Learn how to distinguish between the two. If a person accuses you of believing something that you don’t (for example: all gay people will go to hell - a popular one), then you say that is not correct. If possible say what the faith teaches, or tell them you’d be happy to explain what it teaches if they are really interested. This works better imo, then getting into discussions with those who don’t care about what you have to say about it. Keep it short and clear and show people you know your subject matter, and don’t be afraid to point to their ignorance. Lovingly, of course