J
JCats12
Guest
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and I realize that I have made a mistake in ever choosing to date him. I’ll give you the events of leading up to this.
I went through a horrible breakup back in the beginning of October. It was my very first heartbreak and it had affected me in a lot. As the month went on, I began to get better, however, I wasn’t fully healed. I thought that in early November I was healed and ready to move on, so I began to meet other guys. Around this time, I began to question aspects of Catholic dating. I began to wonder “why we as women had to have such high standards for guys and why couldn’t we just date whoever we wanted. There is no such thing as a soulmate and why did we have to wait to date until we were ready for marriage?”
I met a guy in the middle of December. He was raised Jewish but doesn’t practice anymore. We were getting to know each other and I realized that I liked him a lot, despite our differences in faith. I honestly believed that we could work it out. We made things official on the 1st of February. I genuinely was happy.
The fact that we didn’t share the same faith really bothered me every since the beginning, however I didn’t pay attention to it. I notice that he has a tendency to be selfish and does not understand sacrificial love- something we as Catholics believe in. He doesn’t respect me the way that a guy should. Another aspect is that we have gotten physical in our relationship. We haven’t had intercourse but we have made out and done other things. I know this is wrong and I told him I wanted to pull back on this stuff, but didn’t agree with me, so I gave in yet again. Our relationship does not have a foundation; I feel as if it is very superficial. He is sometimes critical to me and I don’t feel as if he cherishes me. I honestly don’t see myself marrying him. In fact, I’ve been longing to be single again.
However, I know when I see him again next week, I’m going to forget all of our problems. Everytime I’m with him, infatuation comes in and think he’s a good guy after all. Which is why I find it difficult to break up with him. He is a good person overall, and is considerate. He sends me sweet things which make me feel good. He honestly makes me want to work harder on my academics because of how smart he is. I like his companionship and I know that he’ll be there for me. However, am I in this for the sake of being in a relationship?
However, as I recently reflected on a lot of things, all those Catholic speakers had it right about Catholic relationships. That is the type of relationship that my heart desires. I know that as a daughter of God, I deserve better, and I deserve to be treated as such. The thing is, I don’t take breakups well. I know I will need some time away from campus in order to collect myself and heal from this. If I do decide to end things, it will have to be in May, so that I’ll be able to leave campus for a couple of months for the summer and start fresh in late August.
I’ve been so restless on this. I know plenty of people will think that I am so naive, but this is difficult. I don’t know what exactly to do now.
I went through a horrible breakup back in the beginning of October. It was my very first heartbreak and it had affected me in a lot. As the month went on, I began to get better, however, I wasn’t fully healed. I thought that in early November I was healed and ready to move on, so I began to meet other guys. Around this time, I began to question aspects of Catholic dating. I began to wonder “why we as women had to have such high standards for guys and why couldn’t we just date whoever we wanted. There is no such thing as a soulmate and why did we have to wait to date until we were ready for marriage?”
I met a guy in the middle of December. He was raised Jewish but doesn’t practice anymore. We were getting to know each other and I realized that I liked him a lot, despite our differences in faith. I honestly believed that we could work it out. We made things official on the 1st of February. I genuinely was happy.
The fact that we didn’t share the same faith really bothered me every since the beginning, however I didn’t pay attention to it. I notice that he has a tendency to be selfish and does not understand sacrificial love- something we as Catholics believe in. He doesn’t respect me the way that a guy should. Another aspect is that we have gotten physical in our relationship. We haven’t had intercourse but we have made out and done other things. I know this is wrong and I told him I wanted to pull back on this stuff, but didn’t agree with me, so I gave in yet again. Our relationship does not have a foundation; I feel as if it is very superficial. He is sometimes critical to me and I don’t feel as if he cherishes me. I honestly don’t see myself marrying him. In fact, I’ve been longing to be single again.
However, I know when I see him again next week, I’m going to forget all of our problems. Everytime I’m with him, infatuation comes in and think he’s a good guy after all. Which is why I find it difficult to break up with him. He is a good person overall, and is considerate. He sends me sweet things which make me feel good. He honestly makes me want to work harder on my academics because of how smart he is. I like his companionship and I know that he’ll be there for me. However, am I in this for the sake of being in a relationship?
However, as I recently reflected on a lot of things, all those Catholic speakers had it right about Catholic relationships. That is the type of relationship that my heart desires. I know that as a daughter of God, I deserve better, and I deserve to be treated as such. The thing is, I don’t take breakups well. I know I will need some time away from campus in order to collect myself and heal from this. If I do decide to end things, it will have to be in May, so that I’ll be able to leave campus for a couple of months for the summer and start fresh in late August.
I’ve been so restless on this. I know plenty of people will think that I am so naive, but this is difficult. I don’t know what exactly to do now.