I don't feel guilty!

[Rocky24]

Please tell me what’s going on!
Today, I gave in to temptation and I watched the stuff. After it, I did not feel one single shred of guilt. I’m confused and I don’t feel guilty. What does this mean? I’ve done this so many times beforehand and I felt guilty. But today I just don’t. Is my religious life crumbling? I feel empty now, as if that guilt has just left me.

 

[Trishie]

Perhaps in the past guilt has been a fear of the consequences?
The heart can harden where the ‘guilt’ is about oneself, about whether or not one will be punished.

We need to reject sin not just because of the consequences to ourselves,
but also because God loves us into existence to live a life choosing goodness and love of God, genuine and practical love of others, with loving union after death being God’s intended destiny for us.
Only you know if your guilt has been self-focused.
If it has, it is based on fear not love.

Feelings are not what is most important. Your choices are. What is required is to ask God’s pardon for offending Him who is love and goodness, whether you feel anything or not.
And seeking to form habits against offending God by using practical strategies to prevent the likelihood of sin.

Prayers and best wishes,
Trishie

 

[Ophelia23]

Please tell me what’s going on!
Today, I gave in to temptation and I watched the stuff. After it, I did not feel one single shred of guilt. I’m confused and I don’t feel guilty. What does this mean? I’ve done this so many times beforehand and I felt guilty. But today I just don’t. Is my religious life crumbling? I feel empty now, as if that guilt has just left me.

Rocky, I went through a long stretch in life where my main prayer was “Lord, help me to feel sorrow for my sins.” I would feel more guilty about not feeling guilty than I would about my sin itself. I gently but eagerly urge you to begin making confession a regular part of your life. You could make it a weekly habit for a little while. I found that through weekly confession, the storage of grace built up and carried over through each week. I found that through regular examination of conscience paired with culpability for my sins taught me remorse and sorrow for the hurt I caused to Christ. I no longer attend confession every week, but I still go with regularity. When life gets more difficult or when I feel that fire burning out in my chest, I increase the frequency of confession.

It doesn’t mean your religious life is crumbling. We stand on solid rock, not shifting sands. But it does indicate an area where work is really needed. You recognize this. I am praying for you. You are, after everything, a part of this wonderful and beautiful creation. Have faith. And no matter what you are feeling–whether it be guilt-free, or guilt-laden, talk to God about it. Bring it to him.

Be well. God is love!!

 

[White_Peony]

You better get to Confession fast. You are losing your sensitivity to sin, therefore you feel no guilt. Confession brings that back. Please, for the sake of your immortal soul, go to Confession.

 

[Non_sum_dignus]

Please tell me what’s going on!
Today, I gave in to temptation and I watched the stuff. After it, I did not feel one single shred of guilt. I’m confused and I don’t feel guilty. What does this mean? I’ve done this so many times beforehand and I felt guilty. But today I just don’t. Is my religious life crumbling? I feel empty now, as if that guilt has just left me.

Our emotions aren’t designed as a stand-alone defense against sin. Your feelings on the matter may come and go. Worse yet, we can kick our consciences into submission. Sin kills us; that’s why we are warned away from it. Maybe this is an indication that you need to get more serious about winning this fight. We’re all there beside you, struggling with all sorts of sins. Don’t give up the fight.

 

[sw85]

Please tell me what’s going on!
Today, I gave in to temptation and I watched the stuff. After it, I did not feel one single shred of guilt. I’m confused and I don’t feel guilty. What does this mean? I’ve done this so many times beforehand and I felt guilty. But today I just don’t. Is my religious life crumbling? I feel empty now, as if that guilt has just left me.

You’re making a mistake lots of people make, which is conflation of interior dispositions with emotions.

An example. A man loves his wife in the sense that he feels passion and affection for her. He also loves his wife in the sense that he is resolved and committed to do what is best for her, to provide for her needs and shepherd her soul to Heaven. The former is passion, the latter charity. Charity is the virtue and the duty. Passion just lightens the load of duty. It’s a blessing, but neither the duty itself nor the object of duty. Even if he stopped feeling anything for his wife, he would still be obligated to care for her, and his doing so would still be morally praiseworthy.

Likewise with contrition. We need not feel guilty (though a healthy sense of guilt lightens the load of the duty of contrition and avoidance of sin). We need to recognize the objective wrongness of our deeds and the harm they have done to ourselves, to others, and to God. We need to recall in our hearts that God created us and has assisted us with every grace we have, despite absolutely no obligation, and that through our sin, we have repaid his generosity and assistance with ingratitude and disobedience. We need to actualize that recognition in the sacrament of confession and make amends for it through penitential works. That is contrition.

Again, emotions can be useful. But they are not essential. A man with no feelings will not (necessarily) go to Hell. Feelings just grease the wheels. They are the glue that enables our will to adhere more fully to intuitively-understood truths. I assure you that if you keep the above in mind, your feelings will come more and more to align with your recognition of those truths, just as a man who no longer feels passion for his wife but who renews his commitment to her and his resolve to provide for her needs will find a deeper and more mature love growing to replace it.

Contrition is ultimately an act of the will. This doesn’t mean insincerely mouthing the words of the Act of Contrition or something. It means forcing yourself to recognize the abovementioned truths: that you have done wrong and hurt yourself and someone else who loves you very much and to whom you owe love and gratitude. And it means a firm resolution not to sin anymore and to make up to God the debt of justice you owe Him.

 

[Rocky24]

Rocky, I went through a long stretch in life where my main prayer was “Lord, help me to feel sorrow for my sins.” I would feel more guilty about not feeling guilty than I would about my sin itself. I gently but eagerly urge you to begin making confession a regular part of your life. You could make it a weekly habit for a little while. I found that through weekly confession, the storage of grace built up and carried over through each week. I found that through regular examination of conscience paired with culpability for my sins taught me remorse and sorrow for the hurt I caused to Christ. I no longer attend confession every week, but I still go with regularity. When life gets more difficult or when I feel that fire burning out in my chest, I increase the frequency of confession.

It doesn’t mean your religious life is crumbling. We stand on solid rock, not shifting sands. But it does indicate an area where work is really needed. You recognize this. I am praying for you. You are, after everything, a part of this wonderful and beautiful creation. Have faith. And no matter what you are feeling–whether it be guilt-free, or guilt-laden, talk to God about it. Bring it to him.

Be well. God is love!!

That is exactly what I feel! My priest’s gone on a holiday, so he won’t be back until next week. But I will make sure I go to confession as soon as possible. Thank-you for your advice.

You better get to Confession fast. You are losing your sensitivity to sin, therefore you feel no guilt. Confession brings that back. Please, for the sake of your immortal soul, go to Confession.

Sure will