I don't feel sorry

  • Thread starter Thread starter RomanRyan1088
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

RomanRyan1088

Guest
I am having this problem with this particular sin. When I do it, I often find myself not feeling sorry. I feel bad because I don’t feel sorry. I sometimes think" Whats the point of going to Confession, if I ain’t sorry". I’m starting to believe myself. What do ya’ll think?
 
Maybe there is something deeper going on that is influencing you to repeat this particular sin. It is not easy to feel sorry for something you have not done with all three grave conditions in place, you know. Perhaps your sin is a result of some habitual thing very strongly ingrained and not something you willfully do with full consent.

It can be deflating to have to keep going many times to confess the same sin over and over again, can’t it. Believe me, I know. Sometimes, just that alone creates isolation from God, or it’s trying to, to make you feel pointless about persisting in your quest for holiness. Soon you can grow sort of “immune” to your sense of that sin, and a distancing from God can begin. It is a terrible cycle to be on.

I will pray for you. This will all pass.
 
I have the same problem with a grudge I’ve held for a long time. It’s against a man who was emotionally abusive to me 4 years ago, resulting in PTSD for me to this day, while he is out prospering and succeeding in everything he does. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I also don’t want to forgive him, nor do I want God to forgive him. I want justice to be done; frankly I hope he rots in Hell. Becuase right now he’s getting away with what he did to me - life is rewarding him and it drives me up the wall. Anyhow, so I know I should feel sorry about this and have the desire to forgive him, but I don’t. I feel bad about THAT, I wish I wasn’t so vengeful and hateful. I confess holding the grudge even though I know I’ll still be holding it when I leave the confessional. I do it because I hope that the Grace received in confession will still help soften my heart. I can also confess specific manifestations of the grudge, such as when I daydreamed about something horrible happening to him, or when I talked about him and said horrible thigns about him. I can at least feel sorry about those, although I admit it’s only imperfect contrition. Right now I’m just trying to forget about him, so while I won’t technically have forgiven him, I also won’t be actively hating him either. Then maybe someday I’ll be ready to forgive. I don’t know how I’ll ever do it, considering that he isn’t sorry for what he did. Does anyone have any advice on this, how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry? I struggle with this alot because the Church teaches that unrepentent sinners end up in Hell. If God doesn’t forgive when we’re unrepentent, why should I be expected to?
 
Living a moral life, like staying married, isn’t about feelings. It is about fidelity. You don’t have to feel faithful to be faithful… in fact, if you depend upon feeling a certain way every day, you are certain to fail. Emotions are just not that dependable.
 
Thanks to all, i really appreciate it. I really appreciate the people that have responded. No this is NOT rianredd, wrong twin, (Bet you didn’t know i was a twin huh). I have a brother, our names our just spelt diffrent.

Ryan
Rian

Kool Huh. Well thanks to all, keep on responding. Bye.
 
Based on the posts from both of you, you and your brother need to support each other to avoid sin and also perhaps avoid being a bad influence on each other.

You both seem to care about your faith. Allow yourselves to grow in understanding and maturity before your sin gets in the way.

Seek deeply the truth and meaning of Catholicism then you will be raised to the depths of the mystery that will open your eyes. When yours eyes are open you will not desire sin.

Jesus said: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

What Jesus said is 100% correct of course. The key is to understand what He is saying.

Seek the truth. Ask real questions that go beyond the surface of sin-confession-repeat. Spirituality is deeper than shampoo-rinse-repeat. Seek what creation and your existence really means. Seek who you really are a child of God. Seek what it truly means to have free will.

When you sin, do you believe that you have free will?
 
why are you asking the forums to help you with a problem that belongs in confession? contrition is not an emotion it is a statement of intent. Please do not thing these wonderful people who have shared their experiences and given their help can replace the sacraments. Examine your conscience, confess your sins to the priest, recite the act of contrition, accept absolution, do the penance assigned, and if necessary and possible, make restitution. Then it is OVER, done, finished, no need to dwell on it, do not question the Divine Mercy.
 
Minerva, by holding onto your grudge against this man you are still letting him control you and your feelings.

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the offender, it is about no longer attaching your life to what he/they did to you.

Give him and his fate to God and go on with your life. I know what I’m talking about because I too suffered abuse from people I trusted with my very soul.

Talk to your confessor about this and let him help you. And don’t let this man’s actions rule your life for one more day.

God bless you. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Minerva,

I echo the last post who asked that you find forgiveness. I too struggle with forgiveness towards a certain person who constantly sins against me without any apparent consequences.

However, like you said, this person doesn’t seem to have any ill effects from their sin, they don’t seem to care about what they’ve done, this person doesn’t seem to dwell on it as much as you do. Having been there, I know you think about it, dwell on it, relive the hurt and pain, which leads to depression and for me, a tendency for it to interfere with my relationship with the Lord.

What you are actually doing is giving this person even more POWER over your life, above and beyond the sinful acts they have knowingly committed. By letting it constantly eat at you, they again are victimizing you over and over again because you let them! Forgiveness will take this power away. Don’t let them have any more power over you.

Believe me, easier said than done but you can do it. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil 4:13. Go to confession, confess your unwillingness to forgive, and continue to try to forgive, and if you fail, go through the process again.

God Bless!!
 
40.png
RomanRyan1088:
I am having this problem with this particular sin. When I do it, I often find myself not feeling sorry. I feel bad because I don’t feel sorry. I sometimes think" Whats the point of going to Confession, if I ain’t sorry". I’m starting to believe myself. What do ya’ll think?
Click to expand...
It is not uncommon for us to justify something when we really like doing it. Sin is usually very pleasurable, that is why we succumb to it so easily. And ALOT of sin we simply do not want to give up because we LIKE it, even though it is bad for us. And before we know it we have talked ourselves right out of Church!

Concentrate on prayer!

The Gifts of the Holy Ghost contain everything we need to sustain ourselves.

The Gift of Piety

The gift of Piety begets in our hearts a filial affection for god as our most loving Father. It inspires us to love and respect for His sake persons and things consecrated to Him, as well as those who are vested with His authority, His Blessed Mother and the Saints, the Church and its visible Head, our parents and superiors, our country and its rulers. He who is filled with the gift of Piety finds the practice of his religion, not a burdensome duty, but a delightful service. Where there is love, there is no labor.

Come, O Blessed Sppirit of Piety, possess my heart. Enkindle therein such a love for God, that I may find satisfaction only in His service and for His sake lovingly submit to all legitimate authority. Amen

Please you have just entered the devils playground … get out your tools.

God wants and expects true contrition for our sins!
 
I’ve been having the same problem for years, I’m not sure I’m sorry or not, sounds dumb, but I really don’t know, I keep commiting the same sin over and over, so I kinda think I’m not sorry, I know I have to be, but don’t know why I’m not. Good luck I’ll pray for you, I guess that’s one thing we should all do ask for an increase in our sorrow. :tiphat:
 
there are a couple things that i do that help me when i don’t want to repent and come back from a particular sin.

one is this: i think about God. i read something about Him, or spend time in prayer, and think about His goodness and love. the more time i spend doing it, the more He fills me with His peace and love, and then i DO genuinely feel sorry for the sin that i allowed to come between me and Him - separating me from the love that He gives me so freely.

two: i pray through the lord’s prayer. i stop after each line, and apply it to my life. when i get to the bit about ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’, i place my hope in His forgiveness and genuinely turn away from my sin, while thinking of those who have wronged me (real or imaginary) and letting go of my hard feelings against them.

the only way that i’ve found to forgive someone who has hurt me deeply, and who is not repentant, is to allow God’s love for me and for them to overflow my heart, and give me love for them. i can’t find it in myself - it’s not there. i can find it in Him - He IS love.

once again - the way i allow that love to overflow me is to spend time with something that reminds me of His goodness. something that works really well for me is to read a good book that talks about the goodness of God - for me, nothing does it better than the chronicles of narnia, by cs lewis. but whatever means God uses to fill you with His love, find what it is, and allow Him to fill you. if you don’t know what it is, ask Him. He’ll be happy to show you. He may not show you immediately, but keep your eyes open, and it’ll come along.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top