I don't like to see the crucified body of Christ while I'm eating and drinking

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Salve995

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Ever since I was young, crucifixes have caused a repulsion in me. I am not repulsed by Christ; I’m merely repulsed by the tortures He endured. Yes, yes, I know the Cross is a symbol of salvation–you don’t need to tell me any of that. But it’s also an instrument of Roman execution – if one so wishes to see it that way. I’m just not sure why I don’t like to see one while I’m consuming my meals.

My mom has a Catholic calendar hanging on one of kitchen walls. Each month features a famous artwork, and April’s artwork is of Mary holding Jesus’ mutilated body. Well, I’m dreading flipping the page on my calendar. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sneak downstairs for a midnight snack without turning my gaze to the mournful depiction and feeling my stomach churn.

I should speak with a priest, but I can’t for now, so I’m here – seeking your counsel and wisdom.
 
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How old are you? Maybe you just have an extremely sensitive reaction to Our Lord’s suffering. Are you possibly called to the religious life?
 
Well, I don’t know you, so this is just a guess, but I had a feeling that, back in the day, when I’d have very much a desire to “put off” praying the sorrowful mysteries, that it was about not wanting to accept my suffering by recognizing His, or something like that.

Of course, it is also possible it could be many different things. I am pretty sure when I see or think of maimed people greatly suffering I don’t think “oh boy, I’m hungry!”, so it could be something rather innocent like that.
 
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I’m 25. I think my mother might have ruined me by allowing me to watch films of Our Lord’s Passion too early on in childhood. I was an impressionable child.

I’m definitely not called to the religious life. I don’t feel drawn to it. I want to be a biological mother.
 
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You just justified my pulling my kid out of her high school religion class when they watched Gibson’s “Passion”!
Although you must have been much younger than 15…😆
 
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No, that’s not it.

I’m okay with crucifixes unless there’s one in the kitchen.
 
Maybe it’s because you (like many) see meals as a social convivial time, and the crucifix just is too solemn for that setting?
 
I didn’t watch The Passion of the Christ until I was in my late teens. I said my mother liked to watch films based on the crucifixion every Lent, and I had a habit of watching them with her.
 
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I don’t like to see blood in any setting. I fear I’m offending Our Lord…
 
Salve995 said:
I’m okay with crucifixes unless there’s one in the kitchen.
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Well, once again, that’s not exactly something that goes with food. I really don’t think that’s too strange. Maybe I’m mistaken, but it could just be for that innocent reason…
 
I think you might be right. Again, I don’t want to cause Jesus any offense by “rejecting” the Cross at mealtimes.
 
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Salve995 said:
Again, I don’t want to cause Jesus any offense by “rejecting” the Cross at mealtimes.
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Some people have a tender heart. There is nothing wrong with that (although some may have a hard time dealing with someone else who has one). And I seriously doubt that would be offensive to Jesus.

Not sure I have a suggestion as to what to do with meal times; don’t look; or ask your mother if she can put it somewhere else in that room where you don’t have to sit looking at it.
 
And how would offering it up for those who are suffering help with my dilemma?
 
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