I DON'T WANT TO BE A PRIEST...But

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commander9225

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I’m 16 and I suffer from undiagnosed OCD known as scrupulosity. Over the last few months it has been intense and allowed me almost no enjoyment out of anything and a constant fear of sin. A day or so ago, I made huge progress and have eliminated many of the sinful compulsions that had been bothering me. That day, however, I gained a new compulsion- Am I meant to be a priest? To tell you the truth, I really DON’T want to be a priest. The thought of it actually stirs up extremely negative emotions in me, that I cannot explain. Much of this may be because I want to have a family, but my mind seems to be saying, “I DONT WANT TO BE A PRIEST.”

At the same time though, I try to remain open to it but all the old stress of scrupulosity has come back. Like perhaps it’d be a sin if I chose the wrong vocation. I know in my heart I don’t want to be a priest, but should that matter? Should I later in life go through with it despite these feelings? When I imagine myself as a priest, I know could technically do it, but as I imagine myself a parent, I have this pulse of joy in my heart. You may be thinking, “Aren’t you answering your own question?” But the truth is I don’t know if these thoughts I’ve been having are the equivalent to a call from God. At this point, I don’t know whether to see a spiritual director or a therapist- I’d like to take serious action to be sure the OCD is gone but I don’t want to use therapy to avoid what may be a vocation. I’d like to think that if it’s truly a vocation it would remain even after getting treatment for OCD. To complicate things, I have a girlfriend I care very much for and even at our age we’ve talked about marriage. Now I feel guilty even talking to her. In short, I don’t know if this is OCD or an actual vocation, but it’s become this heavy weight around my neck, and all I want is to be able to breath again. Please help. Thank you.
 
Please seek profissional help…I have this OCD thing and it can ruin your life…then you won’t be a priest neither a parent. You MUST make a therapy, it is urgent, I know what I am talking about.
 
commander9225 said:
. In short, I don’t know if this is OCD or an actual vocation, Please help. Thank you.
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That depends. The idea of the priesthood could be vocational, BUT if you can’t easily shut the thoughts off of being a priest and feel so ‘tunneled in’ that you can’t shift your thoughts at all, then I’d say your idea has been taken over by the OCD. When OCD is alleviated there should be an ‘easy shifting’ in thoughts, moving from one to the next without getting ‘stuck’ (eg. stuck in ‘I want to/don’t want to become a priest’). I agree with the Chicken, try to see a therapist or your doctor.

peace
 
Please try to find a Catholic therapist who can help you with this difficulty. A therapist who shares your faith is crucial because others may tear down your faith or ridicule you. Going to a non-Catholic could make the situation worse. (I speak from personal experience.)

catholictherapists.com/

If there are none listed in your area, your local diocese or Catholic Charities may be able to help you find one.

Or you can try this one which is by telephone:
exceptionalmarriages.com/
(I think it’s not just marriage counseling)

Please don’t worry about your vocation right now until you can get some help. It sounds like you are not in a condition to be able to discern clearly due to the scrupulosity. Once you have healing I think you will be able to better discern where God might be calling you. God does not pressure us into something we hate, but rather He will give you a love and desire to go wherever you are called, when the time is right.

The Redemptorist Order of priests and Liguori Publications also issue a newsletter called Scrupulous Anonymous and other ministries for those who struggle with this: mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm Readers can submit questions to be included in the newsletter and answered by the priests.

There is a book called: Understanding Scrupulosity: Questions, Helps, and Encouragements, by Thomas M. Santa, C.Ss.R., which is a compilation of years of answers from priests who wrote the newsletters to common questions that people have who struggle with scrupulosity. Please consider getting this book, which helped me so much.

I struggle with scrupulosity myself and now I am on a path to healing.

Please also consider finding a spiritual director who can help you in the healing process. Make sure that it is someone who you trust to give orthodox Catholic advice.

My prayers are with you.
OLMM
 
The_Chicken said:
Please seek profissional help…I have this OCD thing and it can ruin your life…then you won’t be a priest neither a parent. You MUST make a therapy, it is urgent, I know what I am talking about.
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The Chicken is wise.

God doesn’t guilt trip people into submission. He wants happy, healthy Catholics to serve Him with joy by doing what they feel they would be good at.

Get help for your OCD, first and foremost. Also, check out Scrupulous Anonymous:

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm
 
Commander 9225
I felt the same way you do at 19 and now I am 37. I am not a priest. I have gone down the road your going. The best advice I can give you is: Write these down.
  1. Buy and read the book “Understanding Scrupulosity” by Thomas M. Santa C.Ssr.
  2. Talk with your parish priest. You may NOT actually be called. But keep an open mind. God’s will is important, and you need need the help of your priest and Church teaching to find God’s will.
  3. Ask him to recommend a councilor, maybe from Catholic Charities. I have tried a therapist from the website mentioned above. Although, it may be helpful, it can get expensive without insurance. Some therapists do not accept insurance. Going the Catholic Charites route, you can go alone and it may be free.
    Do not ignore this you do need a councilor if you have OCD, it is affecting you in ways that you do not even see yet.
  4. Pray,pray, pray your rosary! It’s not just for the ladies.
  5. Stay close to the Church Sacraments.
  6. Do not isolate yourself from family and Christian friends
  7. Get to know the Bible and Jesus personally. Watch EWTN!
You may feel that if you talk with a priest, he may try to recruit you or drag you into the religious life. It doesn’t work that way. The Church has a more gradual process in making sure it’s God’s will and not yours.
You may be surprised.
In my journey, I met a man who was in the seminary up until close to ordiantion and decided to get married.
I work with a man who was studying to be a Jesuit. He married and now has two grown daughters.

Do not go alone on this. Talk to a priest or sister and stay close to the Church.
I hope this helps.
 
George789 said:
Commander 9225
I felt the same way you do at 19 and now I am 37. I am not a priest. I have gone down the road your going. The best advice I can give you is: Write these down.
  1. Buy and read the book “Understanding Scrupulosity” by Thomas M. Santa C.Ssr.
  2. Talk with your parish priest. You may NOT actually be called. But keep an open mind. God’s will is important, and you need need the help of your priest and Church teaching to find God’s will.
  3. Ask him to recommend a councilor, maybe from Catholic Charities. I have tried a therapist from the website mentioned above. Although, it may be helpful, it can get expensive without insurance. Some therapists do not accept insurance. Going the Catholic Charites route, you can go alone and it may be free.
    Do not ignore this you do need a councilor if you have OCD, it is affecting you in ways that you do not even see yet.
  4. Pray,pray, pray your rosary! It’s not just for the ladies.
  5. Stay close to the Church Sacraments.
  6. Do not isolate yourself from family and Christian friends
  7. Get to know the Bible and Jesus personally. Watch EWTN!
You may feel that if you talk with a priest, he may try to recruit you or drag you into the religious life. It doesn’t work that way. The Church has a more gradual process in making sure it’s God’s will and not yours.
You may be surprised.
In my journey, I met a man who was in the seminary up until close to ordiantion and decided to get married.
I work with a man who was studying to be a Jesuit. He married and now has two grown daughters.

Do not go alone on this. Talk to a priest or sister and stay close to the Church.
I hope this helps.
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Hello I have read your post recently and I am wondering if you still log on here so I can talk to you because I am having similar problems that you have had thanks
 
you say you are now 37,

are you married or a priest now?
 
I’m going through all these same feelings now. It’s like torture. I can’t think, I can’t work, I can’t sleep.
 
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