OK
I am such a miserable person . I lost my faith on God answering and caring for me a few days back and started grumbling.
I grumbled and grumbled so much while laying in my bed he got angry and told me to shut up and accept what he does for me.
He told me I just should shut up.
I did and fell asleep
Today again I feel down.
How stupid ! How shameful ! How worthless I am:crying:
I was thinking I was very faithful to him but just for some very small things I felt I was forsaken.
Sorry you’re feeling so “down” and struggling with your faith.
:hug1: :tissues:
I don’t believe God told you to shut up.
Your self esteem and self worth. Listen to your phrasing. When you talk about yourself, your wording: “Stupid”, “worthless”, “shameful” and “miserable”. If you said all that about any one else, it would be considered abusive. We’d be asking you to stop.
I’d ask you not to verbally abuse yourself again.
I would ask you to consider using the same criteria for yourself as you use with others. What I mean by that is to stop putting yourself down or you will end up being your own worst enemy. Why not include yourself in the people you are to love.
I don’t mean this is a narcissistic type way. I just think part of the reason you feel badly is, at least in part, from a lot of negative self talk. I don’t believe you are “stupid”, “worthless” …and all the rest. See the good in yourself.
I used to put myself down a lot, say I wasn’t smart and list my faults, but I’ve come to see it’s unhelpful. Now, if I make a mistake, I try to learn from it, not dwell on my failures, just do it differently next time.
People used to refer to me as being “self effacing”, “martyr”. My sister once told me there were enough people willing to put me up on a cross that I didn’t need to do it to myself!
On the movie, “The Great Debaters”, there was one debater who tore himself down, and the teacher told him NEVER to ever do that. He said he had done the verbal equivalent of punching himself!
Now, I have mostly stopped putting myself down. I used to do it in front of other people, thinking it was a good quality, but I’ve since reconsidered and stopped that. I treat myself better, and you know what…I feel better!
Accept yourself, even with all your defects and failings, number one. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself.
Christ said to love others as we love ourselves. That implies we already love ourselves. If we truly love ourselves, we will take care of, protect and nurture ourselves, not hurt ourselves, verbally or otherwise.
Good luck and God bless.
