I feel bad..

[Cupcake143]

I never had a great relationship with my mother, but I do love her. It seems like all she talks about is looks, people, money, meeting guys/getting married,. It bothers me, and to be honest I don’t like being around her much. Today, my sister’s friend came over to do my mom’s hair (dye and cut), and when we sat down and started talking my mom had to bring up meeting guys at the gym, and i got annoyed. I wanted her to leave the room, because sometimes she just annoys me. I feel bad about it, and I don’t want to feel that way but I can’t help it. Is this so wrong to feel this way?

 

[Kay_Cee]

I never had a great relationship with my mother, but I do love her. It seems like all she talks about is looks, people, money, meeting guys/getting married,. It bothers me, and to be honest I don’t like being around her much. Today, my sister’s friend came over to do my mom’s hair (dye and cut), and when we sat down and started talking my mom had to bring up meeting guys at the gym, and i got annoyed. I wanted her to leave the room, because sometimes she just annoys me. I feel bad about it, and I don’t want to feel that way but I can’t help it. Is this so wrong to feel this way?

If you can’t help how you feel, you can’t help it. But you are, of course, to honor your mother in your actions.

Have you considered steering the conversation to other topics? Maybe if you ask your mother questions about something else, you can get her to change the subject.

 

[houston1]

I never had a great relationship with my mother, but I do love her. It seems like all she talks about is looks, people, money, meeting guys/getting married,. It bothers me, and to be honest I don’t like being around her much. Today, my sister’s friend came over to do my mom’s hair (dye and cut), and when we sat down and started talking my mom had to bring up meeting guys at the gym, and i got annoyed. I wanted her to leave the room, because sometimes she just annoys me. I feel bad about it, and I don’t want to feel that way but I can’t help it. Is this so wrong to feel this way?

No, actually, I would say that it is the Holy Spirit who is prompting your distaste for the “worldly” values that your mom seems to be showing with her talk…I assume she frequently does this and has little interest in things that relate to God.

As you said in your first sentence…you love your mom. That is what is required of us. We are not called to like everyone. Jesus did not like the Pharisees, Sadducees and other corrupt religious leaders. Jesus is our model.

I actually believe it is a good thing that you have a distaste for this kind of talk, especially if it excessive nature.

Your thinking is good. So, be at peace.

houston1

 

[InNomineDomini]

Is this so wrong to feel this way?

I think not liking one’s parents can be an unfortunate fact in our relationships.

But we should always:

• Try to be as charitable as possible towards them in thought and deed
• Pray for them
• Forgive them for anything we may hold against them
• Always seek to help them
• Always respect them
• Be as sincerely grateful to them as we possibly can
• Make as many excuses for their “negative” behavior as we do for our own

 

[sunnyyy]

I never had a great relationship with my mother, but I do love her. It seems like all she talks about is looks, people, money, meeting guys/getting married,. It bothers me, and to be honest I don’t like being around her much. Today, my sister’s friend came over to do my mom’s hair (dye and cut), and when we sat down and started talking my mom had to bring up meeting guys at the gym, and i got annoyed. I wanted her to leave the room, because sometimes she just annoys me. I feel bad about it, and I don’t want to feel that way but I can’t help it. Is this so wrong to feel this way?

Just because you love your mom does not mean you need to agree with everything she does. I think that it makes sense for you to be annoyed by what seems like some shallowness and materialism by your mother.

If you’re worried that these traits can hurt her or cause her emotional trauma, you might consider talking to her about it. Sit down with her, alone, and explain how her discussing these things bothers you. Perhaps you might ignite some reasoning in her that her behavior might be hurting her as well. If you’re uncomfortable about how she talks around you, discussing it with her can help.

You don’t have to be forced to be in that environment that you don’t like just because you feel bad about it. Chances are she is just not aware of how she sounds and needs you to be honest with her.