C
chevalier
Guest
Okay, and some practical advice: Avoid collective responsibility, guilt by association, jumped conclusions, rash decisions etc. If you feel you need to give someone a talking-to, do it, but after a couple of days, when emotions have settled down and the initial onslaught of mental associations with unpleasant things has passed. This well help you avoid talking it all out on people who didn’t do the thing that bothers you or at least did only a little of it, not the whole deal. If you aren’t sure you’re getting a good read of their intentions from their tone and act, just ask them if they’re implying something and if yes, then to speak a bit more plainly and perhaps change the manner if it bothers you. If they’re uncooperative, extract yourself from the situation. Telling people you’re cutting the conversation right now because you don’t want to end up saying something you might later regret is a viable option.
Also learn to take the hint when you sense a foul mood might be coming. Be extra careful then and avoid snide conversations, delicate situations, discussing your relationship (personal, business or otherwise) etc. Try to p(name removed by moderator)oint what’s giving you grief and draw a clear line between it and whoever might end up talking to you about an unrelated matter, especially an unrelated transgression on their part, such as discussing a minor complaint with some service provider after a big row with a friend or boyfriend or a pang of guilty from the past. Or such as realizing that your current something or other service provider or co-worker or whoever has his own faults but isn’t exactly responsible for the whole streak of bad providers starting from the last two or three. The same goes for the opposite sex or age or race or some other group. People are annoying and unwittingly contribute to larger problems than just their own part, but they can only be responsible for their own part, so a good start is taking some precautions against throwing the book for the entire problem on someone who only has a minor role in it. Go through what information you have and see if you can be sure they’ve been bad, otherwise cut them some slack in proportion to how much you don’t know or can’t be sure about
Also learn to take the hint when you sense a foul mood might be coming. Be extra careful then and avoid snide conversations, delicate situations, discussing your relationship (personal, business or otherwise) etc. Try to p(name removed by moderator)oint what’s giving you grief and draw a clear line between it and whoever might end up talking to you about an unrelated matter, especially an unrelated transgression on their part, such as discussing a minor complaint with some service provider after a big row with a friend or boyfriend or a pang of guilty from the past. Or such as realizing that your current something or other service provider or co-worker or whoever has his own faults but isn’t exactly responsible for the whole streak of bad providers starting from the last two or three. The same goes for the opposite sex or age or race or some other group. People are annoying and unwittingly contribute to larger problems than just their own part, but they can only be responsible for their own part, so a good start is taking some precautions against throwing the book for the entire problem on someone who only has a minor role in it. Go through what information you have and see if you can be sure they’ve been bad, otherwise cut them some slack in proportion to how much you don’t know or can’t be sure about