I feel like I am hellbound

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Rolypoly

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I have felt this way ever since I began to have a faith life. I just feel like the Lord is preparing a place for me there. šŸ˜¦ I am very lonely as well which is mostly my fault for being so antisocial, cowardly and self-centered. Schizophrenia doesnā€™t help either. I try to not be so self-focused and to pray for others, such as here on the prayer intentions forum, but it seems forced rather than welling up from within. I want to continue but if I am forcing it perhaps it is best for me to stop.

I can relate and empathize with human beings, but I fail to relate to the Lord, in particular to the Father. I have heard that this is true for those who have had father issues, which I have had.

I just canā€™t believe that I am going to live this wretchedly lonely and boring life and then get sent to Hell at the end. Please pray for me that I will find hope or that I will stop with the self-pity or for whatever you think I need. God bless you all.
 
Lord, grant Rolypoly trust in your goodness and providence, and help him to find a good, holy priest he can talk to about what he is going through. A good spiritual director can help him. May he meet with a priest for spiritual direction regularly. May he focus on your profound burning love for him, your goodness and your glory and not on any Janseistic ideas. The only thing that will put him in hell is mortal sin and despair. Help him to keep free from mortal sin and please help him to stop despairing. May he be abandoned to your merciful love full of confidence in your merciful love. May he PM me if he needs someone to help him know he is not doomed to hell. Unless he does not confess his mortal sins he neednā€™t despair. Your greatest attribute is your mercy and you do not refuse anyone who is repentant. Help Rolypoly to always repent of his sins and to trust completely in your mercy. The worse a sinner we are the more we are entitled to your mercy I read in the diary of St. Faustina. Help Rolypoly not to despair because of his weaknesses and sins, but help him to trust more in your mercy and goodness because of his weaknesses and sins. So long as he runs to you with a contrite heart after sinning he will always be safe and saved. Help Rolypoly, Lord, not to underestimate your divine mercy, love and goodness. Heā€™s thinking like a Janseist; please help him to think like St. Therese. May he read ā€œConsoling the Heart of Jesusā€ by Michael Gaitley, MIC to help him be freed from his despair. The book will help make him into a saint, like I hope it does for me. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Lord Jesus, you are the great friend of the sick, and you healed them while you were upon earth.
Grant them once more your healing power and comfort them in their affliction .
Amen
 
Sending my prayers for you.

Do you have access to any online or local counseling groups?

Or, groups at Church that you could volunteer your time with, helping others, meeting people, etc to take ā€œbaby stepsā€ toward feeling more fulfilled?
 
Rolypoly:

Our Lord spoke about those who despair and have no hope. It seems that you are placing yourself in this position. If you keep it up you most surely will condemn your self.

No matter how you feel, you should have complete trust and faith in the Lord for He loves you no matter what. He will never abandon you. It is very possible that this is just a phase you are going through or, again, very possible that Satan is planting these thoughts in your mind to turn you away from Him. Say this pray to Him as often as you can " Lord I believe, help my unbelief". I say it daily and my faith and trust in the Lord has grown ever stronger day by day. I, and others, will pray for you. Donā€™t despair. God bless.
Shalom haMeshiach.

PAX DOMINI :signofcross:

Shalom Aleichem
 
*Praying for YOU!

My Sweet, Loving, Eternal Father Godā€¦

Please heal this precious soulā€¦

ā€œIn The Name Of Jesus Christ!ā€

AMEN! *
 
Daily Rosary.

Daily Mass, if at all possible.

Repeat this little prayer as many times as you can remember each day:

ā€œLord, Hold me in Your Arms, forgive me my sins and make me the way You want me to be. Holy Spirit, please grant me direction and guidance, cash flow and work. Amen.ā€
 
Rolypoly said:
I have felt this way ever since I began to have a faith life. I just feel like the Lord is preparing a place for me there. šŸ˜¦ I am very lonely as well which is mostly my fault for being so antisocial, cowardly and self-centered. Schizophrenia doesnā€™t help either. I try to not be so self-focused and to pray for others, such as here on the prayer intentions forum, but it seems forced rather than welling up from within. I want to continue but if I am forcing it perhaps it is best for me to stop.

I can relate and empathize with human beings, but I fail to relate to the Lord, in particular to the Father. I have heard that this is true for those who have had father issues, which I have had.

I just canā€™t believe that I am going to live this wretchedly lonely and boring life and then get sent to Hell at the end. Please pray for me that I will find hope or that I will stop with the self-pity or for whatever you think I need. God bless you all.
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Hi Rolypoly God loves you,Godloves ALL His children.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. . . - Psalm 37:28

I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. - Proverbs 8:17

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. - Deuteronomy 7:9

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

God is Love: How does God Define Love?
The Bible tells us that ā€œGod is Loveā€ (1 John 4:8). But how can we even begin to understand that truth? There are many passages in the Bible that give us Godā€™s definition of love. The most well known verse is John 3:16, ā€œFor God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.ā€ So one way God defines love is in the act of giving. However, what God gave (or should we say, ā€œwhoā€ God gave) was not a mere gift-wrapped present; God sacrificed His only Son so that we, who put our faith in His Son, will not spend eternity separated from Him. This is an amazing love, because we are the ones who choose to be separated from God through our own sin, yet itā€™s God who mends the separation through His intense personal sacrifice, and all we have to do is accept His gift.

We are all sinners. If we donā€™t come back to God, we will be separated from him forever.We have the opportunity to go to confession and confess our sins and be forgiven.Our sins will be forgiven

God is love. He loves the world he made, and he loves us, broken though we are.

God loves us so much that he sent his only Son to become one of us and to save the human race.

Jesus opened the way for us to have eternal life.

You are loved! God bless you

Prayer to Love God above all Things
God, my Father,
may I love You in all things and above all things.
May I reach the joy which You have prepared for me in
Heaven.
Nothing is good that is against Your Will,
and all that is good comes from Your Hand.
Place in my heart a desire to please You
and fill my mind with thoughts of Your Love,
so that I may grow in Your Wisdom and enjoy Your Peace.
 
In His humanity even Our Lord, among the apostles who loved Him, experienced lonliness. Dear Lord, bless Your child, whose name is known by You in Your loving embrace.
 
God bless you all and thanks to all of those who are praying for me.

I do pray the rosary often, although recently other things have been distracting me from praying it almost daily like I was. But I will try to get back to doing that.

Daily mass has crossed my mind since I work only PT due to my illness, but I worry about people judging me at mass and wondering why I donā€™t have a full-time job.

I tried to call a priest today about getting a spiritual director. My parish priest had said a while ago that a regular confessor was more appropriate for me, which is what he is, but maybe I can talk to him again to see if he has changed his mind.

I do pray the ā€œact of hopeā€ each morning. I havenā€™t quite lost all hope yet, despite what my original post may indicate. It just feels that way sometimes.

I also go to adoration on occasion and look at the host and try to realize what Jesus has done for me.

I am always wanting to do more to help others and be around people more, but whenever I am at a social gathering I end up being a wallflower. For several months I volunteered at a soup kitchen but I felt that I was not very warm or inviting to the people coming in to eat and that I was treating it like a chore most of the time. So I decided to try to help people here, but I have the same problem here at times. Sometimes I am compelled by love but most of the time I am forcing myself.

I feel like a hypocrite trying to pray for others and giving what little advice I feel qualified to give when I have so many spiritual problems, but I hope I can still do so because I want to be a good person even if my heart is not always in it and the Devil is telling me I am no good.

Despair takes hold of me so easily but I know there is hope and you all have helped me remember that. Again I am grateful for your prayers and for listening.
 
Having a regular confessor is excellent and essential. Praying that he can help you get over your despair. Pray, pray, pray for confidence in God (trust) and hope.
 
I just prayed the Holy Rosary. I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries. When I got to the Third Sorrowful Mystery I felt Jesus telling me that I was wearing a crown of thorns and asking me if He could wear it for me. When I let Him take it from me I felt His consolation. So I have much hope in my heart at least for tonight, praise the Lord.
 
Youā€™re overthinking it.

The priest who said you need a regular confessor is spot on.

ā€œLord, make me the way You want me to beā€.

Let that be your hourly prayer.

AND THEN LET GOD TAKE HIS OWN TIME TO GIVE YOU AN ASSIGNMENT.

Keep in mind that all is/will be in HIS timeframe.

It MAY take Him ten years ā€¦ because of YOUR limitations, not because of any shortcomings on His part, to train you for a simple five minute task.

You just donā€™t know.

You have to trust.

So go about your own business ā€¦ and when He gets an assignment for you, you will have been forewarned and fore-prepared.
 
Rolypoly said:
I have felt this way ever since I began to have a faith life. I just feel like the Lord is preparing a place for me there. šŸ˜¦ I am very lonely as well which is mostly my fault for being so antisocial, cowardly and self-centered. Schizophrenia doesnā€™t help either. I try to not be so self-focused and to pray for others, such as here on the prayer intentions forum, but it seems forced rather than welling up from within. I want to continue but if I am forcing it perhaps it is best for me to stop.

I can relate and empathize with human beings, but I fail to relate to the Lord, in particular to the Father. I have heard that this is true for those who have had father issues, which I have had.

I just canā€™t believe that I am going to live this wretchedly lonely and boring life and then get sent to Hell at the end. Please pray for me that I will find hope or that I will stop with the self-pity or for whatever you think I need. God bless you all.
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Hi RolyPoly, I know what it feels like to feel like you are Hellbound. I also often feel that way. I also have mental illness. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and Major Depression. That is what I am diagnosed with. However, I also have anxiety though it is not diagnosed. I am not saying that you need it but maybe a trip to the Sacrament of Confession would relieve your fears. šŸ™‚ You are in my prayers.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Remember oh most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence I fly unto thee oh Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Saint Dymphna, holy patron of those with mental illness, pray for RolyPoly that she would feel the comfort, grace, and blessings of God. Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray and do thou oh Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
Rolypoly said:
I just prayed the Holy Rosary. I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries. When I got to the Third Sorrowful Mystery I felt Jesus telling me that I was wearing a crown of thorns and asking me if He could wear it for me. When I let Him take it from me I felt His consolation. So I have much hope in my heart at least for tonight, praise the Lord.
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Hi Roly I am happy for you that you feel Jesus love for you.Praise the Lord indeed!

Lord we continue to pray for our friend Rolypoly and we thankyou for his feeling Your love for him and we ask Youw ould continue to bless him and guide him that he may be consoled by Your infinite love for him.Thankyou Lord for hearing our prayers Amen

Our Blessed Lady I ask for your intercession for our friend Rolypoly Amen
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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