I feel so lost.. What should I do

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I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, but I feel so empty inside for some reason. I am single and at an age where I want to get married. I am very selective about the type of guy I want, and I am waiting for marriage to do anything sexual, besides an innocent peck on the lips. I have been hanging out with an old neighbor of mine (we reconnected in the summer time), and we get along and like to do the same type of things. She’s single and older than I am by 3 years, and she’s looking to get married also. We both like to try to go to social places where we can meet new people, but this going out isn’t very appealing to me. The people we meet aren’t that great either … Everyone seems to be so generic. I was dating a guy last year who I liked a lot but it just didn’t work out, and I don’t know if I will ever like someone that same way again. The quality of single people these days seems to be worse than it used to be. I’m just really over the going out though, but I don’t know how else I would meet a guy if I don’t go out. I was thinking of the gym, once I reactivate my membership. I’ve just been so patient for awhile now and I am starting to get lonely, and feel lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel hopeless and I really want to get married one day. I don’t have anyone I feel close enough to share all my feelings with either (I get along with my family but I’m not close with any of them in that way, and my friends don’t care about me). Please pray for me that I will some day (soon) meet my future spouse.
 
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First, put your hope and love in God.
He is the source of life and love!
Then, try to put your wants out of love of God.

Want to get married in, by, and through love of God!
Then how can one be impatient no matter how long it takes? If it is the Will of God, it is the Will of God!

Perhaps, even if you are sure you are meant to be married, inquire about religious vocations. God may want you to offer everything for Him, and that means going against even our own desires.
If you are not meant to be a consecrated religious, then so be it, but the point is to give all to God.

To paraphrase St Augustine, trust in God knowing all things depend on Him, but act like they all depend on you (oh how I wish I could do such!).

Perhaps look specifically for faithful Catholics who share your interests?
 
It’s not even just getting married, I just feel empty and not fulfilled. I don’t know what I should do. I do pray, go church, and abide by the Catholic teachings and always striving to do the right things. So, besides this, what else am I to do? Any Catholic books that could help me discover myself maybe?
 
YES!

“Searching For And Maintaining Peace” is a book that saved my life.


The other is “The Reed of God” by Caryll Houselander, it is very fitting as an Advent read!
 
Same here,

Looking for a nice, faithful Catholic girl is difficult for me, especially in our times.
Left and right, I only see unfaithfulness, indifference, selfishness, atheism…
It makes me feel discouraged, and not too enthusiast to go out and meet.

The only thing I can do (and I suggest you do the same), is to put everything in God’s hands.
I’m sure he has someone waiting for you, and he slowly prepares him for you.
If you trust him, you two will surely meet no matter what.
God will make sure you’ll know when you see him.

Do not lose hope

God bless 🙂
 
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Sorry that you are feeling down. I know how it is to be single and longing for marriage but having no prospects at all. It is tough. Prayers said.

Now, I get it that going out to meet people sometimes is unappealing. I’m a introvert. I did wonder though what you mean by people you meet not being that great. Also you said “generic”. What does that mean? I don’t think you mean " not good enough for you" but that is kind of how it sounds. Again, I am not saying that is what you mean. What is it you are looking for then? Do you mean you meet mostly secular guys or Catholic guys that just are not interesting to you?

Now for a practical piece of advice, you can try online dating. I met my girlfriend of 11 months on Catholicmatch. It’s a site with a lot of people, more then any other Catholic dating site. As a woman, you will most likely be messaged by many Catholic men whom you can choose who you want to get to know better and who you are not interested in. However, I will caution that it is not a magic bullet. It can take a long time before any relationship develops. It took me several dates with different women before I met my current girlfriend over a period of 3 active years on that site, more or less. It is easy to become discouraged when you do not seem to be getting results but the site is only a tool, it is not to blame when there is disappointment. And some men on there are just as perverted and as big of jerks as non Catholics can be. It takes discernment and prayer. But, as a woman, you most likely won’t have to reach out to anyone. Guys will reach out to you. This appeals to a lot of women. I would recommend giving it a try, if you can afford it. It’s about $30 for one month but if you subscribe for a longer period of time but cost goes down. And no, I don’t work for Catholicmatch lol. It just worked for me so I think it is a great tool. Plus you don’t have to buy a subscription to make a profile. You can make a profile and wait to see if you get messages and later choose to subscribe to read and answer your messages. It’s worth a shot. If that is not appealing to you either, well, then you can just keep trying however you are currently trying but like I said, trying it out is a great tool in your search.
 
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Thank you! And, what I meant by generic, is that guys these days (and girls too) all act very similar (and not in a good way) and more as followers, rather than leaders. If that makes any sense.
 
Thank you so much! your post helped me feel better. God Bless you too!
 
†
❤️
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
†
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.
†
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our defense against the wickedness and snares
of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray.
And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the
power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other
evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.
†
St. Thérèse of Liseux Prayer From “Story of A Soul”
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Amen.
†
Lord, thank you that you are with me right now.
Your love surpasses all fear.
I give you the anxiety I feel.
I surrender all my worries to you.
Clear my mind;
Calm my heart;
Still my Spirit;
Relax my being, that, I may
always glorify you in everything
I write, speak and do.
Amen.
†
Jesus, Help Me
Thank You, dear Lord Jesus.
Amen.
†
Prayers said. All will be well. Do not fear, the Lord is protecting you.
Do not be lonely, your guardian angel is beside you.
Be comforted, Mother will watch over you, and the
Holy Spirit will guide you.
Amen.
†
Prayer Against Depression
By St Ignatius of Loyola
O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.
Amen.

†
Let Nothing Disturb You
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience,
Obtains all things,
Whoever has God
Lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
Amen.
†

My Jesus,
I believe that You are
present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things, and
I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment receive
You sacramentally, come at least spiritually
into my heart. I embrace You
as if You were already there and
unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated
from You.
Amen.
†
Thank You dear Lord Jesus, always and
everywhere, for everything.
Amen.
†
Jesus, I trust in You.
Amen.
❤️
†
Pier
 
Hello,
I was a single parent for 17 years, after leaving an abusive marriage. I know how you feel. God showed me something after several years: I was admiring the cherry blossoms on the college campus, and I realized I could appreciate them without being married, whether married or single. Life still held beauty and joy for me. So I quit worrying about finding someone,and God did put someone in my path.

But marriage is not all roses. It will not fix your problems. You must work on those yourself. If you feel empty inside, being married will not cure that. You may or may not end up with someone you can share your feelings with, but don’t depend on that.
I would advise you to make some good friends, either sex, and invest in yourself. Find what you are enthusiastic or thrilled about, and spend time doing that. Are you interested in evangelizing? in prolife work? In hiking, any kind of crafts, writing, music, painting, dancing? Get involved in something that makes you happy, and where you can meet like-minded people.
Good people are not hanging out in social places necessarily. They are doing cool things that they love. They are hiking in the mountains or working to heal the environment, or writing poetry and getting together to share it, or in music groups.
Find what will fill the empty places in you, and you will be more ready to be married.
God bless.
 
Great advice! Thank you! I have been wanting to take a drawing or some kind of art class, and to start reading more… Books that I can learn from. My new job has kind of taken a toll on me, because I have been working more hours than I want, and during the week days my life is just work , home and then sleep. Then, weekends it’s going to the same ol social places trying to meet single guys… And I hate it. So I think the combination of what I have my days filled with have made me feel empty. I need to make some changes and stick with them. Thanks!!
 
I have a young daughter. She graduated last year and now started working. I know by today’s standard that she has a lot of time before she’ll get married. She is very pretty but she thinks that she isn’t. When I said that she’s the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life, she would say of course, every dad would say his daughter is the prettiest but she does not believe she is.

Nevertheless at times I am worried when she will marry or whether she will ever get married. She always whines that nobody wants her because she is ugly.

The question of marriage is one that’s always worrying especially for girls.

We have a few single girls in our Community. They are good holy girls. They did indicate they wanted to get married to some guys. We feel hopeless when we were not effective enough to support them in this area. Many of them have not married yet. I feel pity for them as they are getting older.

Sometimes I thought maybe they should not be too holy or too rigid with religious value and that maybe they should be more secular. But the latter is not what we teach them. On the other hand, decent and holy young men are hard to find, and those that do are unavailable.

Why I am telling you all these? My advice is, this may not apply to you, but from my experience, do not be choosy in chosing a marriage partner. Men are humans and they are all the same. Remember, that you can have an influence on their life by your faith and love. IOW, they may not now but later they can change. You can be the Lord’s instrument to affect that change, not by forcing him but by your love and the grace of God.

I don’t know if that makes sense but that much I can say.

God bless you. Whatever it is, remember, that the Lord loves you, sometimes more than you ever can imagine.
 
Do volunteer work. It addresses needs in society, gives a sense of purpose and accomplishment, and provides opportunities to meet like-minded people. Even if your fellow volunteers are not your age, they may have siblings, children, and/or grandchildren who are.

I’ve been married for years, but volunteer work has helped me come out of my shell, given me bushels of new friends and shown me how to really make a difference in the lives of others. I am a better wife thanks to my volunteer activities.

Praying for you and your friend.
 
My wife and I have some close friends and relatives in the same situation and we talk about this topic a lot. What we see as a common denominator is this idea of “I want to get married.” With all due respect, it is the wrong question because it is self-centered. It only focuses on “I.”

These single people we know tend to ironically either reject nearly every potential mate they meet because they don’t check off all the items on their list, or they glom on to the wrong potential mates until the relationship ends badly. Why? Because of the self-centeredness and them believing what society tells them about what a characteristics a potential mate “should” have.

What if you try a different approach? Start meeting, really getting to know and caring about all people, but particularly those who, in your widest stretch of the imagination, could be potential mates. Don’t worry about getting married. Worry about finding people to love and care about as friends, collaborators, confidants, helpers, people who need help, etc. One of them will rise to the surface as a mate if you have an open mind.

Also, keep your “want list” for a mate to as few, really important things as you can. That is not compromising. That is focusing on what is important. Trust me, all that stuff you think you want in a mate has to go out the window after marriage. That’s when the real work begins.
 
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