I feel so trapped :((

[reed987]

from a psychological perspective i think its unhealthy to stay with this guy
I feel like a wimp, like someone who cant stand up for himself, like a beaten wife who cant walk out

 

[jmcrae]

how should one deal with depression in general?

Exercise, eat healthy foods (avoid refined sugar and alcohol; drink milk and orange juice, eat green and orange vegetables, and eggs), and be around positive people. Also, whenever you are being attacked by negative thoughts, deliberately change them into positive thoughts.

It may seem corny, but it really works to repeat to yourself quietly, “People like me; I’m a fun person to be around.” “Jesus loves me, and wants what’s best for me - nothing bad is going to happen to me that He can’t take care of for me.” “These people are lucky to know me; I’m smart, I’m funny, and I’m nice.” “I’m good at what I do - my work is always accurate, efficient, fully complete, and tidy.”

 

[blessedstar]

from a psychological perspective i think its unhealthy to stay with this guy
I feel like a wimp, like someone who cant stand up for himself, like a beaten wife who cant walk out

You sound really beaten down by this. Telephone home and talk with your parents, they love you heaps, so talk to them, maybe they can talk to this guys parents, maybe they can help you to move to some other place and to carry on studying.

Please give them a call, OK?

In the Living Prayer of my life

 

[Em_in_FL]

Oh reed… I can tell you’re struggling… I’m so sorry.
But hey… now you’ve got a thread full of people praying for you!.. not a bad place to start!

I agree with others who’ve mentioned taking care of yourself physically. Get some exercise (most colleges have free gyms you can go to… or go run the track) and eat healthfully…

Sounds like you need something to look forward to also… I just wanted to reiterate my last post about looking into ways where you can find some good solid new friendships. Look into the student center at the college’s local parish… join a club… start a study group… find good, wholesome, fun people who you can spend time with… with emphasis on the FUN! Find a fun group of people you can go out to the movies and dinner with… or go on camping trips or fun outdoor excursions…

Don’t let him drag you down! You have so much to offer others… you never know, you may be the friend that someone else is looking for too!

 

[reed987]

thanks everyone
I’m already feeling better.

 

[dixieagle]

how should one deal with depression in general?

Reed,

Depression is something you CANNOT overcome without help. The campus counseling center is a good first step. You MUST talk with a professional; anti-depressants may be necessary, though you must be very careful, as they can occasionally cause suicidal feelings in adolescents.

I have some familiarity with depression, as a dear young friend of the family has experienced this. With treatment, he improved and is now a successful college senior, headed to graduate school.

I will pray for you. Please get the help you need (and tell your “friend” to shut the heck up, first of all.)

Blessings!

 

[journey137]

College is tough. It’s tougher when you feel all alone. I came from a small town about 200 miles from where my college is. My first year I had a totally random roommate – turned out we had a lot in common; she actually helped me through a bit of depression when my mom was killed my freshman year. Second year I had another totally random roommate – turned out we had very little in common, but we were still nice to eachother. Third year I was in a one bedroomm appartment all to myself – LOVED IT! Fourth year I have a totally random roommate – we don’t have anything in common, but we both pay our bills and clean up after ourselves so it works fine. You don’t have to be friends with your roommate, you just have to live with them – like a sibling relationship kinda. If you don’t like this guy (my experience is if you knew the person before you came to college, you will hate rooming with them because I’ve seen too many people in that situation) then get a new roommate. Assuming you live in the dorms you can move to a new room. If that person is worse, move again. I knew one person that moved 3 times in that many weeks before she found someone that she could live with for the rest of the year. Go out, make friends, get involved, go to tutoring sessions, go to academic club meetings, go to design club meetings, … basically just get out and know your campus so when you need support, you have someone you can turn to. Obviously your current roommate is not that kind of person. Counseling is quite common especially for freshmen. That’s why the first two years are usually required to live on campus where RA’s can keep an eye on you and help when needed.

PM me if you have any questions or just want to talk with somebody almost at the other end of what you’re just starting

 

[He_Man]

I think I portrayed it wrong, it’s not like we’re joking around or anything. when he gets offensive is when hes being serious. For some reason he just doesn’t realize that putting his friends down is a bad idea
Joking around is a whole different ball game than being serious, cos at least there’s some possibility of excusing the other person.

as far as therapy goes, I’ve been “getting help” for the past few weeks. they gave me this advice:
transfer colleges

Father Francis on Life on the rock says that the highly coveted white collar educated careers are really not all theyre cracked up to be anyway. Maybe I don’t even need college and I’m just wasting my time.

A part of me just wants to go back home and be a dairy worker

I don’t know what to do

A person with an engineering degree can be a dairy worker.

A dairy worker without an engineering degree cannot be an engineer.

Get the degree, and then YOU can decide where you want to work, not have it decided for you.

 

[reed987]

A person with an engineering degree can be a dairy worker.

A dairy worker without an engineering degree cannot be an engineer.

Get the degree, and then YOU can decide where you want to work, not have it decided for you.

so I HAVE to go to college? there’s really no other option.

 

[jmcrae]

so I HAVE to go to college? there’s really no other option.

Yep.

Don’t worry - some day you’ll look back on all this with fond memories.

 

[reed987]

great :doh2:
alright, you win. I won’t pull out. I won’t go home. I won’t drop out. I won’t give up.
I’ll stick with the original plan. Tommorow, me and another guy will spill the beans and tell my “friend” to knock it off… or else hehe

 

[jmcrae]

great :doh2:
alright, you win. I won’t pull out. I won’t go home. I won’t drop out. I won’t give up.
I’ll stick with the original plan. Tommorow, me and another guy will spill the beans and tell my “friend” to knock it off… or else hehe

YAAAY!! :extrahappy:

 

[dixieagle]

great :doh2:
alright, you win. I won’t pull out. I won’t go home. I won’t drop out. I won’t give up.
I’ll stick with the original plan. Tommorow, me and another guy will spill the beans and tell my “friend” to knock it off… or else hehe

We’ll be praying hard for you!

God bless!

 

[TexCatholic4JMJ]

Reed 987,
When I’m feeling depressed, I force myself to get up, take a
shower, dress and get out. Take a walk, go to mass, but don’t
sit and wallow (eg., have a pity party). It may be depression
from the current situation. If it’s deeper, then counselling and/or
talking to a doctor might uncover a physical source.
Praying for you.

 

[Cathryn]

Let your friend know that you want to be friends with him, but his humor is usually at your expense and you need it to stop. If he doesn’t change, get a new roommate. As far as the day to day college hard work, I would recommend you offering it to God when you go to bed at night and at Mass. Look at your trials as crosses and it will surpisingly lighten the load. Put the pain to work. Ask the Blessed Mother to interceed for you and send you some help. Be open to new friends and pour yourself into your studies. Don’t give up. You are worth it.

 

[reed987]

okay, we did it.
today me and the other guy told my friend what was on our minds. I told him I wasnt gonna take it any longer and if he did it ONE more time I was bailing on him and going back home and ditching this whole college

He actually… apologized. He felt really guilty. In fact, I started feeling bad for bringing it up. It was like he realized for the first time in his life just what I was going through. He told me he’d never do it again (and he actually meant it).

From this experience I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned the value of a friend, even a friend who sometimes unwittingly and unintentionally says things without thinking but still cares about me underneath it all. I’ve learned the value of a friend whos willing to back me up in hard times. and most importantly I’ve learned the beauty of a whole community of online catholics who were willing to help and pray for a total stranger in need.

thanks so much everyone and god bless! I couldn’t have done it without you all

wish my luck for next semester, and the next 4 years for that matter (I’ll need it

 

[jmcrae]

okay, we did it.
today me and the other guy told my friend what was on our minds. I told him I wasnt gonna take it any longer and if he did it ONE more time I was bailing on him and going back home and ditching this whole college

He actually… apologized. He felt really guilty. In fact, I started feeling bad for bringing it up. It was like he realized for the first time in his life just what I was going through. He told me he’d never do it again (and he actually meant it).

From this experience I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned the value of a friend, even a friend who sometimes unwittingly and unintentionally says things without thinking but still cares about me underneath it all. I’ve learned the value of a friend whos willing to back me up in hard times. and most importantly I’ve learned the beauty of a whole community of online catholics who were willing to help and pray for a total stranger in need.

thanks so much everyone and god bless! I couldn’t have done it without you all

wish my luck for next semester, and the next 4 years for that matter (I’ll need it

Today, you are a man - you stuck up for yourself, and then you forgave your enemy.

I’m so proud of you!!

You’re going to be just fine!!

 

[BeeSweet]

I’m so sorry you’re having a difficult time. I had a roommate nightmare my first semester away from home, but I was able to come home and live with my parents and go to community college instead. You don’t have that option, so you really must get out and meet other people. Don’t hang around your roommate any more than you absolutely have to. Please keep going to your classes, and spend your spare time in the library getting your work done.

Do you have any hobbies that cheer you up? Do you play a musical instrument? I heard just recently that’s it’s impossible to be depressed while whistling , that could be annoying enough to your roommate to make him go to the library instead!!!

I’m praying for the best for you. Please cheer up! College is a very very short time in your life even though while you’re in it, it feels like an eternity. Work hard, and it will be over very quickly.

 

[BeeSweet]

okay, we did it.
today me and the other guy told my friend what was on our minds. I told him I wasnt gonna take it any longer and if he did it ONE more time I was bailing on him and going back home and ditching this whole college

He actually… apologized. He felt really guilty. In fact, I started feeling bad for bringing it up. It was like he realized for the first time in his life just what I was going through. He told me he’d never do it again (and he actually meant it).

From this experience I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned the value of a friend, even a friend who sometimes unwittingly and unintentionally says things without thinking but still cares about me underneath it all. I’ve learned the value of a friend whos willing to back me up in hard times. and most importantly I’ve learned the beauty of a whole community of online catholics who were willing to help and pray for a total stranger in need.

thanks so much everyone and god bless! I couldn’t have done it without you all

wish my luck for next semester, and the next 4 years for that matter (I’ll need it

I missed this before I posted! That’s great! I hope it gets even better for you two. You’ve probably helped him out more than you know! God bless you both in your studies!