I know they’re probably small things, but they were things that made all the difference to me.
Several weeks ago I attended Stations at the church in my parish - it was the first time I had gone back to church in almost 20 years. Last week, I finally attended Mass there. Things that didn’t connect with me:
“church in the round”
no candles to light for prayer
no statues
no stained-glass windows
very difficult to locate the tabernacle
holding hands during the Our Father
I don’t recall the Nicene Creed being said
I will give credit for a wonderful homily, which inspired me enough to continue looking.
I had emailed the pastor there asking if the masses were different (was there a traditional one that I would be more familiar with?) and he answered me late last week saying they were all essentially the same. He did recommend a couple of other churches nearby.
While I hate thinking I’m “shopping around,” I equate this process to my frog-in-boiling-water theory* and if finding the familiar is what I need in order to meet God on common ground and work from there, then I was determined to do so.
I drove around, checked out the other ones and just decided to drive to the Cathedral - I’m in Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota. And while I toured the Cathedral once, I had no idea what to expect now that I was searching. It was Saturday around 4 - high tide for confession. While I was extremely close to going, it would have been an impulsive thing - not a true examination of conscience. I had hoped to make the Saturday evening mass, but after reading the weekly bulletin, found it would not be until 7pm.
I woke up early Sunday (like 5 am early!!) and decided to go to the 8 am Mass. I’m so glad it was sunny, because it made for a beautiful morning and drive into the city. I’m about 20-25 minutes from the Cathedral and make the drive every day since I work downtown too.
I was nervous and shaky and not too sure of myself. But in the beauty and wonder that is the Cathedral, it was a very welcome feeling. I was in awe… and that’s exactly what I needed.
There was a missal, but here’s the great part - I almost didn’t need it. I looked through it and saw that it covered all the masses of the day (8, 10, 12 and 5pm) But as Mass began and continued - the words just came right out of me as if I had never left. Everything was in order as I remembered it, the Confiteor, the responsorial psalm, the Our Father - everything. All of it was spoken (so I must admit, I missed singing some hymns) and all of it in English - so I didn’t get lost with Latin or Greek. I also admit that those appeal to me, but maybe in the future - for now, I was smiling and almost laughing because there it was - the Mass of my youth (mid-80’s when I went) as if I’d never left.
Like riding a bike - those prayers and responses are so deep in memory - and come flowing out so easily when you’re there!
I was so pleased that I floated home. Oh, and did I mention:
Beautiful statues
Candles to light - including the one I lit on Saturday asking for direction
Enough stained-glass windows to spend days looking at
You can’t miss the tabernacle
No holding hands or hands in the air (except for a couple of people) during the Our Father
I know the Nicene Creed was said - no guessing there!
And a homily that made me wonder why I’ve never appreciated Mass the way I do now… now that my eyes have been opened!
To see the Cathedral:
cathedralsaintpaul.org/
Take the Virtual Tour:
cathedralsaintpaul.org/about/virtualtour.asp
So, if you’re ever visting St. Paul - come on by!
=)
Fiz