You might have seen my “Teaching TOB to your kids” Thread… apparently not many try. I don’t think it’s wrong…It’s just difficult for me… Heck, DW and I rarely talk about sex with each other, let alone with the kids… I got a couple of more books to look into, though…
I often wondered what discussion of “mistakes” parents made with kids does for them… My kids do not know I was married before… It just has not come up.
But beyond NFP, teaching the proper context for sex in a relationship is what is important now… what is your plan for teaching chastity to your kids?
My husband I have had very open chats with our children. I have never been afraid to discuss (age appropriately) sex with my kids. My son, especially, I have given a woman’s perspective to. We have talked about the secular consequences to bad sexual decisions, ie: disease, unplanned premarital pregancies…etc…and I have told him that everything comes with a price. That some are physical prices, but sex out of the context as God created, will always rob your soul. When lifetime movies are on about teenagers having sex, and terrible consequences that follow in many cases, I have asked him to watch those with me. (and my daughter at times has watched these too) Then, we will talk after the movies.
I have also taught him how to respect women…and that he should not objectify women. We have talked about the beauty of not having baggage to carry into a marriage. I said that many girls out there now are aggressive, and they might try to convince you to go to bed…that if you loved them, you’d do it. What’s wrong with you, all the guys want me, etc…so, I have tried to prepare him for some of the things he may hear some day, if he dates someone in the next year or so. I said, if you want to be with someone who is good, chaste, and kind…you need to be that person for her. And, these won’t only be things that he may hear in his teen years. I think as parents of sons, we can sometimes make the mistake of thinking that they will never be forced to do something…they are the aggressors, after all. Moms and dads are always protecting their daughters from the boys of the school…but there are many girls nowadays who are very aggressive sexually, and it is hard for boys to tell the difference between a girl liking him, and using him, as well. A girl’s reasons will be different for sex, than a boy’s…perhaps, this is a way for her to seek love. Whatever the reason, I need to prepare my son as much as I can for these potential situations. Can’t hold his hand, but hopefully…he’ll remember what we’re telling him. There are nice girls who do want to remain chaste–find one of them! lol Also…my husband has told both kids repeatedly…ONLY DO THOSE THINGS THAT YOU WOULDN’T MIND CHRIST SEEING YOU DO. (and us seeing, too) lol
Now, with my daughter…she is only 11–but we have had these talks, as well. I have told her about teen pregnancy, etc…but that our souls is what matters even more. She told me one day…‘I want to keep my tabernacle clean, mommy…’
(This was something a priest has said in a recent homily–
keep your tabernacle clean) Always know that your kids are listening at mass!
So–no, we are not shy about chatting about sex with our kids. I would rather them hear the truth from me, than made up garbage from their friends…
…she told me…aren’t (her brother’s name) and me enough? Aw. I said, this subject really is kind of silly right now…we are not having a baby. If God wants that for mommy and daddy, then you should love your new brother or sister. She apologized. She is upset by my revelation, oddly enough. I didn’t mean for them to overhear our discussion, but since they did
)
HOW ARE YOU?
I guess God should be the star in our lives…and we should just be the costars. :newidea: