I hate women so I won't become lustful.

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Your post didn’t make a lot of sense to me and I don’t think you thought it out too well before you posted it. Lust an love are two different emotions, but can compliment each other. There are many relationships without lust and many without love, but those that have both as a sacramental and general long-lasting. My own parents were married over 50 years. I don’t think there was a lot of lust going on due to their health, but a lot of love.

Lust is a biological reaction-physical. Love comes from the heart and soul and faith. Yes, you can have one without the other; it happens all the time. It is one of the reasons for abortions, unwanted or neglected children. Put the two together-“lust” and love and you will get a union(hopefully sacramental) that will last and endure for a lifetime. I will give you the credit that you are just venting. Peace.
 
realtiger said:
I have been starting to be resentful and have a growing aversion of women if I am not hating them and It has helped me be not lustful. I feel lust is worse than lack of love. I don’t love them because I don’t want to get hurt. But it’s all good because if I love them I will have strong arousals for them and I don’t like that. I haven’t been aroused today except for once when I looked at a picture and it was not a long arousal. I would rather be a bitter and apathetic person than love women and struggle with lust. I just hope God punish me for having these feelings. Will God punish me for being bitter and not even trying to love women or people in general? When I see a girl I might feel aroused to I just start to hate them and criticize them so I won’t even feel aroused.
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Definitely wrong! And psychologically dangerous! You can get stuck into hating your way out of sin, the Bible says do not return evil with evil, but return evil with good. So you are tempted to sinful thoughts. Just say in your thoughts “No. No in the Name of Jesus.” This is enough and it works! I have read many books on the topic. This method works quickest, best, and easiest. Catholics forget how powerful it is to say “No” to all things sinful in their mind.

What the saints recommend is spiritual detachment from others, it means you don’t hate them, but you are just a holy acquaintance to everyone, that you love God first,

I bet you don’t have self belief and faith that you can be around others but not tempted in thoughts. You need to have faith; “In Jesus Name I am not going to be tempted and I do not feel tempted.” This method works! Acts of faith work miracles. Jesus said in the Bible; “Your faith has made you well. Let it be done unto you according to your faith.”

You can still help and be kind to others, just recognising, you love God more than creatures, having the faith that you will not be tempted by God’s grace.

Instead, think of non hateful reasons why you are not tempted. EG: “nope. That thought is a mortal sin. These are are my earthly sisters in God’s family.”
Think of Holy reasons why you are not attracted to others,

What age range are you?
Because it could be just a phase of temptations only.

Also; when things get tough, satan likes to hit a man when he’s weak, vulnerable, tired, drained,
If life is tough right now that’s why these temptations seem exaggerated.

Positivity, hope and faith. Never think negative thoughts. Always look at the blessings and believe in the best good things coming your way. And be ready to accept whatever life throws at you. Count all your blessings always.
Satan finds it harder to tempt you when you are upbeat and positive with faith.
 
First, lust is just a form of hate, which is why its such a serious sin. Second, hatred is a serious sin so you’re really no further ahead. Lastly, what you are doing is most likely causing yourself both spiritual and psychological harm of the long term variety. You should really seek some professional help regarding your resentment.
 
Allegra said:
First, lust is just a form of hate, which is why its such a serious sin. Second, hatred is a serious sin so you’re really no further ahead. Lastly, what you are doing is most likely causing yourself both spiritual and psychological harm of the long term variety. You should really seek some professional help regarding your resentment.
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+1
 
That is just sinning to avoid a different sin.

You can use other thoughts
Such as “Nope I will not think like that, that is a mortal sin. I am remaining single and chaste for the Lord.”

You have to learn a new habit.
It may take three weeks but then you will be able to use the above thought instead of hatred. And still be nice to all around you as a holy friend to them.
 
OP, how old are you? Just curious.

Would you hate your mom?

Would you hate Mary?

Would you hate Mother Theresa?
 
realtiger said:
I have been starting to be resentful and have a growing aversion of women if I am not hating them and It has helped me be not lustful. I feel lust is worse than lack of love. I don’t love them because I don’t want to get hurt. But it’s all good because if I love them I will have strong arousals for them and I don’t like that. I haven’t been aroused today except for once when I looked at a picture and it was not a long arousal. I would rather be a bitter and apathetic person than love women and struggle with lust. I just hope God punish me for having these feelings. Will God punish me for being bitter and not even trying to love women or people in general? When I see a girl I might feel aroused to I just start to hate them and criticize them so I won’t even feel aroused.
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True love is the absolute opposite of lust.

Perhaps you need to strive for a different word or words in thinking about and dealing with women.

Admiration
Respect
Concern
Interest
Like
Kindness
Gentleness

If you genuinely like and respect women you won’t be looking at them as if the are sexual objects to be used.

Men who “hate” women are the men who rape women. It is the weapon by which a hateful man is able to dominate and use women.
 
Another consideration is that you’re shifting blame to women when the weakness is your own
 
on_the_hill said:
OP, how old are you? Just curious.

Would you hate your mom?

Would you hate Mary?

Would you hate Mother Theresa?
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His statements have made me wonder this too, about Mary and all the wonderful female states, his mother or sister? Hating someone for their gender doesn’t make sense.
 
Im putting another vote in for counseling. These are not healthy ways of thinking. There are much healthier ways to fight temptations than hatred. Please seek professional guidance on this, as well as the guidance of your local priest.
 
realtiger said:
I have been starting to be resentful and have a growing aversion of women if I am not hating them and It has helped me be not lustful. I feel lust is worse than lack of love. I don’t love them because I don’t want to get hurt. But it’s all good because if I love them I will have strong arousals for them and I don’t like that. I haven’t been aroused today except for once when I looked at a picture and it was not a long arousal. I would rather be a bitter and apathetic person than love women and struggle with lust. I just hope God punish me for having these feelings. Will God punish me for being bitter and not even trying to love women or people in general? When I see a girl I might feel aroused to I just start to hate them and criticize them so I won’t even feel aroused.
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realtiger said:
If I hate women I wont feel hurt. If I don’t feel hurt I will be less likely to commit even graver sins like suicide. Resenting women might not be perfect but it could help me eventually grow in holiness. It will probably just be temporary anyway.
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You may be a bit frustrated right now. And that frustration’s taking you places where you don’t normally go. I mean I get it. You’re tired of fighting the sin of lust. So you figure you’ve got another way forward. You figure you can break out of that by using another easy power. Another easy weapon against things. But hatred’s never been a solution. It’s never solved anyone’s struggles. It’s always been a multiplier. Basically you’ve shouted out loud that you’ve figured the best way to douse the fire is with gasoline. No buddy. That’s not the way out of this.

You’ve heard some good advice here already. Some really solid stuff in this thread. So I’m not going to repeat that stuff. I’m here to give you a bit of a calming embrace here. Because pain is a force you can use. Sure you can use it as a multiplier. Sure you can use pain to spread more of the same. But also you can use it to understand something about yourself. To understand your own limits. To know that you’re not strong on your own. That you need help sometimes. That you need others in this.

What you seem to be doing here is trying to fight this battle alone. Probably because of pride. I mean you’re letting your pride get in the way of humbly admitting you’re not as strong as you’d like. So pride’s now using the old trick of blaming other people for your problem. Well Ok. I mean that’s sort of human nature. We blame other people so that we don’t have to change. We blame others because then we don’t have to look too deep at our own shortcomings. We can sort of give ourselves a pass. While at the same time shaking a fist at other people instead.

It’s great stuff. It keeps us busy. It keeps us from doing hard work. And it keeps us sort of smug in a way. Sort of superior. Because we’re so much better than all those other people. We’re so much better than those miserable sods who cause us such trouble.

But the problem here is that when we do that we don’t get better. We don’t even just stay the same. We actually get worse. So man. I don’t want you getting worse right now. That’s not where we need you going with this.

What I want you to know is that you’re not alone in dealing with lust. I mean guys have a hard time with that. But did you know that a lot of girls do too? So do you want to live in a world where guys hate girls and girls hate guys or would you rather live somewhere where both hate lust instead? Because that’s what you should be glaring at right now. The lust itself. The real problem on the table.

So tackle that in the way that others here have suggested. Face it head on like a man. And deal with it. But don’t beat yourself up. Because you’re not expected to be strong on your own in this. It’s expected that you’ll need help. So get that help. Get some advice. Get pointers from those who’ve dealt with this before already. And then dive back into life. Live it fully. In a good way. With an open heart. And a humble soul.

Because everyone loves a humble guy.

Even girls.

Peace tiger.

-Trident
 
on_the_hill said:
Another consideration is that you’re shifting blame to women when the weakness is your own
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This.

Resenting all women doesn’t solve any problems for you. What are you going to do in work scenarios when you have to work with a woman? What are you going to do when you go out and a woman makes conversation with you?

It is not healthy in any way to hate women. You need to talk to a Priest and a therapist, as others have said, to solve your problems rather than blaming others.

And seriously: you are not “entitled” to hate anyone. You do not have any right to have women because you have been hurt in the past. Women do not deserve your resentment because they are completely innocent. And the “pain you have suffered” because of an event needs to be dealt with with a therapist instead of displacing it. You need to conquer your own weakness instead of blaming others for it because it it YOU that is creating your resentment, not women.

Lou
 
Jesus answer is in the Bible,
“Hate the sin, But NOT the sinner.”

Be averted to, and against the temptation of lust. Thats all.
Its the temptation you can be averted to.
But not the person.

Also:
You need to develop the faith that you will not consent to lustful thoughts or slip into impure actions. If you have faith that will.never happen with God’s continuous help, then the temptations can no longer tempt you.

Also; fear is often a root of sin. someone thinking, out of fear that they will sin those.thoughts.in their mind, or slip into sinful actions.

Have faith in God’s.strength in you over.those.sins. Then there will be no fear. And no resentment.
 
realtiger said:
Although I do not want to completely hate women I feel I am entitled to have some resentment towards them because of the pain I have suffered.
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IF you can’t manage to see us as daughters of the Lord who deserve more respect than to be seen as objects of self-indulgence for yourself and resent us for that, you have a serious problem that isn’t going away even if women go away tomorrow.

I suspect, however, that you are instead beating yourself up for having biological urges that are not yours to turn on and off as you would of course like to be able to do. You incorrectly think that not having a super-human level of self-control makes you a bad person, and “why not be hung for a sheep, if I’m to be hung for a lamb?”

As bad as lust is, you don’t need counselling for the sake of conquering lust. As much as it can hurt to break up with a girlfriend, it doesn’t have to hurt in the way you are describing, and certainly not for longer than a limited period of time, the time taken for a uninfected wound to heal.

You need counselling because your are suffering inner torment that a Christian should not be suffering. You feel tormented, you feel isolated, you are angry at women and even angry at God, wishing for God to punish you.

That is not what it feels like to die to yourself. That is not what it feels like when you go in the direction, “now not I but Christ in me.” You are feeling futility and rage. The Lord did not die for you in order to offer you a life of futility and rage. Please get some help. None of us wants to think of anyone willing to suffer for what is good might be suffering in the fruitless and painful way you are suffering, instead.
 
realtiger said:
Although I do not want to completely hate women I feel I am entitled to have some resentment towards them because of the pain I have suffered.
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In other words, it’s God’s fault for created a helpmate for Adam?

I hope you’re not serious about all of this. Your statements are much like what an abusive husband would say. I can imagine an abuser saying things like, “I didn’t want to hit you. You made me do it because you didn’t fold my laundry.”

Because you’re not really serious, are you? :o
 
realtiger said:
Although I do not want to completely hate women I feel I am entitled to have some resentment towards them because of the pain I have suffered.
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Here’s a thought.

While I don’t know your background, I’ll hazard a guess that Christ suffered (and suffers) far more pain than you have. He was tortured, beaten, crucified all because of our sins, and then we, all of us, me included, reject Him again daily by sinning even after that sacrifice He made for us.

He has never done anything wrong. He is completely sinless. If anyone had reason for resentment towards humanity at large, He would. He suffered all those torments for us, and we ignore Him, strike out at Him, reject Him. Daily.

Yet He doesn’t. Instead, He loves us all with a love beyond imagining, and calls us to love our fellow men as He does. He sees us each as beautiful, individual children and siblings, not as objects to be used or hurt despite our weaknesses and sins and general nastiness.

Something to consider.
 
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