I have a dilemma..

[fcozen]

My non-catholic wife(church of Christ) wants our daughters (14 and 12 ) to attend a youth rally in Oregon this weekend(Fri thru Sun.).Just our daughters with some teenagers and elders from her church. Somehow, something inside me says no. All of our kids, 2 girls and a 7 yr. old boy, were baptized catholic. Though out of respect for my wife, I allow them to go with her to their service aside from attending mass with me every sunday. Any ideas on this? Thank you everyone.

 

[LaLucia]

I totally agree with you unless your wife goes with the girls to the rally. Your daughters are too young to be going off to another state without a parent.

I am an old lady who has heard of many accidents happening to teens who were allowed to go on a trip with adult supervision. One teen got killed in a freak elevator accident. Another teen girl got killed in Aruba. Another kid ate a hamburger that was not fully cooked and died of bacteria a few weeks later after he got home. Another group of kids were killed when an escalator broke down and some got seriously injured.

When I was 13yrs.old my parents sent me on a week-end camp. I felt real creepy when one of the female counselors was taking joy in watching us girls taking a shower. I never told my parents. Most kids don’t tell when bad things happen to them.

Even if it was a Catholic event I wouldn’t approve of your two daughters going to some other state unless you went with them.

Your daughters are still too young and innocent to be going on their own. There could be a fire in the hotel. There are many bad things that can happen to kids and teens today.
We don’t live in a safe world anymore.

I have never approved of my grand-children going anywhere without one of their parents.
The parents felt the same way I do.

Your intuition is telling you not to let them go on their own. While the counselors are sleeping at night the teens are running around like mice at night.

I once agreed to take a group of older teens to a ski trip in the mountains. There were approx. a bus load of students. We had several cabins for everybody to sleep in.
Once I closed my door and went to sleep I had no idea what the students were doing that night.
I chose to never take students on a trip again. I was lucky that nothing happened to them.
It was really stupid of me to think that I could do it on my own.

Tell your wife she has to go too or the girls can’t go.

 

[JRKH]

My non-catholic wife(church of Christ) wants our daughters (14 and 12 ) to attend a youth rally in Oregon this weekend(Fri thru Sun.).Just our daughters with some teenagers and elders from her church. Somehow, something inside me says no. All of our kids, 2 girls and a 7 yr. old boy, were baptized catholic. Though out of respect for my wife, I allow them to go with her to their service aside from attending mass with me every sunday. Any ideas on this? Thank you everyone.

Is you rconcern more about the “content” of the Rally or is it more about the girls ages and the distance etc?

Peace
James

 

[fcozen]

Is you rconcern more about the “content” of the Rally or is it more about the girls ages and the distance etc?

Peace
James

Both but I would say with more emphasis on safety and the “strangers” around them. I don’t know them as well as my wife does but my wife has only been active again with her church the past 2 months after a few years of absence. Plus, sometimes my wife doesn’t take no for an answer lightly and I am not the kind of person that argues.

 

[JRKH]

Both but I would say with more emphasis on safety and the “strangers” around them. I don’t know them as well as my wife does but my wife has only been active again with her church the past 2 months after a few years of absence. Plus, sometimes my wife doesn’t take no for an answer lightly and I am not the kind of person that argues.

I understand.

Pray carefully on this. Then express to your wife what your concerns are.
Begin by telling her that it is not a “faith” issue, but rather a “safety issue”.
That neither of you really know well the people at this church,
That Oregon is pretty far for a 12 and 14 year old to be going without one of you going along,
That the rally is likely to be much bigger than just her church group,

Then you might calm her by saying that next year you might feel differently, since the girls will be older, and your wife will likely know the “chaperones” better.

Good luck.

Peace
James

 

[yellowbird]

Take her “church” out of it and ask your wife if she would normally allow your daughters to travel to a different state and stay the weekend with people she’s known casually for 8 weeks? All of us seem to let our guard down when it comes to fellow church members and we really shouldn’t. Sadly, as Catholics we only need to look in our own backyard to know this is true.

So on that basis alone, I wouldn’t let my children go.

Your bigger problem is your wife wanting your Catholic children to attend her church. And we’re not talking Lutheran where is similar in many ways… we’re talking Church of Christ which isn’t typically very Catholic-friendly. If it were me, and they were MY children… I wouldn’t want them to attend ANY youth/church service of a different faith. Did your wife agree that your children would be raised Catholic? If so, hold her to that promise.

 

[kage_ar]

Couple of weeks ago I rode a bus to DC for the March for Life.

Most of the people on the bus were Catholic, however, there was a Church of Christ family on there as well, and a few Assembly of God folks. On the way home, CoC Dad asked if he could use the mic (we were all sharing pro life strategies and experiences over the mic).

He started with talking about pro life, then moved into bashing the Catholic Church and trying to save us all.

Having grown up IN the Church of Christ, I was able to keep things calm with the ladies around me, that he was not rude it is just he has been taught from birth that we are so wrong and he is required to try to save us.

Unless your daughters are EXPERTS in Scriptural Apologetics ( and by this I mean they can pull out a Bible and go verse for verse with any evangelical minister), do not let them set foot there. The goal WILL be to save your daughters. With being away from mom and dad, the emotionalism of these youth groups, peer pressure and lack of sleep - they will come back doubting what they believe.

 

[yellowbird]

Unless your daughters are EXPERTS in Scriptural Apologetics ( and by this I mean they can pull out a Bible and go verse for verse with any evangelical minister), do not let them set foot there. The goal WILL be to save your daughters. With being away from mom and dad, the emotionalism of these youth groups, peer pressure and lack of sleep - they will come back doubting what they believe.

Amen. This is so true.

 

[LaLucia]

I have seen Rallys become very dangerous with people throwing bottles at the police and the police hitting the people with whatever they have in their hands.

A lot of people attend Rallys with PEACE in mind but it can turn ugly in one second.

Plus, think about it… there will be some outside strangers lurking around looking for kids to
kidnap. Rallys attract all kinds of strangers. One of your daughters could decide to go to the bathroom and the other daughter might never see her again because the girl has disapeared.

Even when kids are with parents attending some fun event can turn around and all of a sudden their kid is gone in the crowd.

We once went to a Carnival and my sister noticed her child missing. She turned to look around and noticed some strange man holding her hand and walking off with her daughter. She was able to go grab her daughter away from the stranger.

I don’t see anything positive from your daughters attending this Rally.

All you have to say to your wife is “NO” more times than she can say “YES”. It is called the broken record technique. You need to be strong this time and do argue with your wife because it concerns the lives of your two daughters. They could come back home TRAMATISED in the brain and brain washed.

You will be totally sorry you let them go on their own. I trust the chaperones but they are only human and will be too busy to watch every child especially at night time.

When I was a chaparone for those teens who went to the Ski resort I promised the mother of two daughters that I would take good care of their daughters. But once we got to the resort the two teens took off with their friends and I didn’t see them again until they were on the bus to go home. “WHEW”. Lucky for me nothing bad happened to them.

If you really love your daughters you will have to argue with your wife this time.

 

[fcozen]

Thanks to you all my brothers and sisters in Christ. I honestly was going to talk to her pastor on this and would allow them if he guarantees my kids safety but after reading all your opinions, I am leaning more in not allowing them. I hope I’ll be able to stand my ground this time. It is indeed quite a hurdle being in the midst of an inter-faith marriage not to mention the kids being caught in between. My wife has already told me once that she regretted her decision in marrying a catholic and I can really see her walking away from this marriage if any further issues arise simply because she is coming from one that was never united at all from the beginning. And this is something that I can’t stand my kids to be in. This April will be our 17th year and with Gods continuous grace and guidance, we can survive until at least our son will be at least 21? I am beginning to wonder which carries more weight now, losing my kids faith but united as a family or fighting for their faith and possibly breaking-up the marriage? With a heavy heart, I will take the latter. Gods’ blessings everyone…

 

[kage_ar]

I would not make this about physical saftey. These events are well chaperoned and I have never read of a child being kidnapped from a youth rally. Sometimes more kids come home than went - if you know what I mean.

The danger is 100% spiritual. Living in a divided home is hard enough on your kids. This kind of thing could lose them to heresy.

 

[monicatholic]

i hope I’ll be able to stand my ground this time.

please begin daily prayers to Saint Joseph for the graces to assume spiritual headship of your family, despite your wife’s objections. your kids’ Faith lives (and perhaps their souls) are at stake.

receive Jesus in the Eucharist as often as possible. pray rosaries and say novenas to St Joesph. if your wife is that forceful, or you that irresolute, or both, then you really need graces.

remember-- you aren’t asking for anything incompatible with your station in life. you are only asking God for graces that you NEED to perform your vocation. He will give you these graces if you ask Him.