I have a problem!

[Bluegodinez]

I have a problem. I am 15 years old. My father in the past was married to someone whom he had two children with and then he later. Some time afterwards, he married my mother and I was born. One of the children born in his first marriage is going to get married next year. The engagement party is today and it happens to be at the house of the sister of my father’s ex-wife. My father told her a few weeks ago that there was going to be a party, but never told her the location. My mother found out about the location of the party from an invitation that came to our house that my father never received because my mother opened it first. My mother does not like the fact that the party is at the house of the sister of my father’s ex-wife. When my father, later today, requests/invites us to go to the party, my mother will reject going. This will cause an outburst of tension and stress between them, especially my father. Today is Saturday. Every Saturday my mother, father, and I go out to a restaurant and have dinner, but it seems that today we may go to the party at the house where my mother does not want to go to. When my father reminds my mother of the party later today, she will refuse because of the location o the party. What should I do to help there be peace? What should I do to fix this problem?

 

[1ke]

I have a problem. I am 15 years old.

No, you don’t have a problem. Your parents have a problem. At 15, it is not your job to fix your parents, or their problems. It is natural to care about them, but trying to compensate for their bad behavior is not your responsibility.

My mother does not like the fact that the party is at the house of the sister of my father’s ex-wife.

That is, quite frankly, ridiculous. They are both behaving childishly with this lack of communication and game playing regarding the location, the invitation, etc.

If I were you I’d stay out of it, and try not to imitate this behavior when you are an adult.

Every Saturday my mother, father, and I go out to a restaurant and have dinner, but it seems that today we may go to the party at the house where my mother does not want to go to. When my father reminds my mother of the party later today, she will refuse because of the location o the party.

If I was your father, I’d leave her home and go without her if she is going to be so childish.

What should I do to help there be peace? What should I do to fix this problem?

Well, if you believe you must do something, perhaps remind your mother that your father loves **all **of his children, and that doesn’t mean he loves your mother less. His daughter is innocent in the situation. Let’s be happy for her and put aside differences for today so we can support her in her marriage.

 

[Jelrak_TB]

I have a problem. I am 15 years old. My father in the past was married to someone whom he had two children with and then he later. Some time afterwards, he married my mother and I was born. One of the children born in his first marriage is going to get married next year. The engagement party is today and it happens to be at the house of the sister of my father’s ex-wife. My father told her a few weeks ago that there was going to be a party, but never told her the location. My mother found out about the location of the party from an invitation that came to our house that my father never received because my mother opened it first. My mother does not like the fact that the party is at the house of the sister of my father’s ex-wife. When my father, later today, requests/invites us to go to the party, my mother will reject going. This will cause an outburst of tension and stress between them, especially my father. Today is Saturday. Every Saturday my mother, father, and I go out to a restaurant and have dinner, but it seems that today we may go to the party at the house where my mother does not want to go to. When my father reminds my mother of the party later today, she will refuse because of the location o the party. What should I do to help there be peace? What should I do to fix this problem?

I would recommend that you speak with respect and restraint to your mother and simply ask her if the situation had been reversed (and you had been the older child in the scenario) if your father’s absence from such a party would still be warranted. It should be only natural that he should want to go and given that he did not choose the location he should be held blameless for attending…good luck…!

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

I Agree with 1KE , it’s your parents problem not yours ,but I can understand why you feel the way you do, your 15 and a young man,and you don’t like to see Friction,
No matter what, it’s out of your hands, if anything, you could study all involved,
And then make a Conscious discission , that you will try not to make similar mistakes in your life , Good luck,

 

[Allegra]

You should happily attend your half-brother or half-sister’s engagement party, with him or her well, and ignore any sort of self-centered, childish outburst or demonstration your mother may have in mind. You can’t control other people’s crazy. Despite what many parents want their children to believe, you are NOT responsible for “keeping her peace”, making her world comfortable, or keeping her happy, particularly at the expense of doing the right thing. Presumably, she was aware that your father had other children when she married him. A pinch of foresight would have caused her to consider that one or both of them may have life events in the future which her husband would wish to attend. This is NOT your problem. Have fun at the party!

 

[1990Domer]

I think that Ike and Allegra gave you excellent advice. You seem like a very sensitive and caring young man. God bless.