I have a question for you all, esp. those of you with adult children

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Whatever you do, please do not put the child in the middle.
Kathy
 
My advice still stands: The grandson is not “fair game” and the M-I-L better know it NOW. I wouldn’t communicate around my daughter’s back to my S-I-L, as he is her DH.

Slightly OT- Those missionaries are slightly post-teenage kids at best. I know they get out there and win a few converts apiece in a two year period. I know the whole missionary experience is supposed to be one of getting away from home and growing in their faith, but quite frankly, they never represented much to me, even in my sort of lapsed years, than overgrown kids. Too many of them take that “elder” title seriously, and swagger as if they were Joseph Smith and Brigham Young combined. If I have a bias against young priests in the confessional (never trust anybody under 30), what makes the LDS think I’m going to listen to a couple of kids who can’t go to to store and pick out the necessary implements for a picnic or to cook breakfast (true story)?

That’s why I’m surprised the grandmother didn’t whip out the ward bishop or the stake committee for the grandson, instead of the missionaries!
 
KCtheMommy said:
To be clear this is a hypothetical question: but I would appreciate your sincerest answers, your sincerest honesty, not just what makes you look or appear to be doing the “Charitable” Christian thing. If you could include how you would FEEL if you were in this situation it would be very helpful. I am actually asking for a friend of mine, and I think your answers will help him deal with the situation he’s in better. OK here goes:

Let’s say you have an adult child, whom you have raised Catholic, and who enjoys her religion. She married another Catholic, they have two children, and the eldest of their children is only 8 years old. Your son-in-law has become very restless in Catholicism and seeked out another church, and it happens to be the Mormon church.

One day when your grandchildren are over, the 8-year-old mentions that Dad and Mom went to the Mormon church, to a class on becoming Mormon, and this is the first you have heard about it. Your grandchildren attended too.

What do you do or say? Would you be so bold as to undermine the Mormon Church to your grandchildren, over-stepping bounds that you didn’t even know where being established? Would you keep your mouth shut and ask your daughter and son-in-law about it the next time you saw them? Would you run the child to a Priest and/or other clergy and ask them to denounce the Mormon Church to your grandchildren? Would you consider the ramifications of hurting the child or confusing them even further? Would you consider the damage you could do the reltionship between your grandson and his dad?

I appreciate your answers – in advance. Me-thinks your wisdom is really going to be helpful.

Thanks and God Bless,

KC
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Discussing this with the child would be absolutely wrong! All this would do is cause the parents to keep the grandchildren away from the grandparents.

The children don’t need to be involved in what ever is said between the adults… PERIOD.
 
I stand by my original post. It was very hard on my family who is lds for generations to accept we have converted to catholic. They have not gone behind my back and talked to my 9,7,5 yr olds but it is a fear of mine. If they want to talk to a family who has left the lds church and become catholic with all of the difficult adjustments that entails pm me and I’ll be glad to share my email. Leaving the lds church can be painful and difficult so make sure you support them as this will probably be a time of both great happiness and many tears.
 
Jodi said:
I stand by my original post. It was very hard on my family who is lds for generations to accept we have converted to catholic. They have not gone behind my back and talked to my 9,7,5 yr olds but it is a fear of mine. If they want to talk to a family who has left the lds church and become catholic with all of the difficult adjustments that entails pm me and I’ll be glad to share my email. Leaving the lds church can be painful and difficult so make sure you support them as this will probably be a time of both great happiness and many tears.
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Because the LDS have so much going for them in terms of family ties and support, it must be doubly hard. You are gracious to offer your support to this family. Are you aware of any network – formal or informal – with resources for people in their position?

I believe this is how Marcus Grodi’s Coming Home Network got started.
 
The really HARD part is his wife is NOT converting. Jodi as you said, she seems to be really tied down in the family and social support of the lds church.

Yeah he needs your prayers. I find him very brave to answer God’s call despite all the people he loves on Earth clearly not ready to throw him a party for his choice!
 
KCtheMommy said:
Would you keep your mouth shut and ask your daughter and son-in-law about it the next time you saw them? Would you run the child to a Priest and/or other clergy and ask them to denounce the Mormon Church to your grandchildren?KC
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First off, I’d FLIP OUT. I hope I wouldn’t go ape with my grandchild in front of me, but I’d try to call or set up a time to talk with my kids and maybe a priest ASAP, so we could try and pull them out of that nightmare. I’d see how the talk went, and after that, I’d probably pray or cry, or both, depending on what my daughter and her DH said about the matter. I really wouldn’t want my family to be swept up into that…well, nevermind.
 
This weeks “The Journey Home” on EWTN is with a former Mormon. You can watch online if you do not have Dish or EWTN is not on your cable provider 👍
 
I was not planning on coverting when me husband first joined the Catholic Church. I almost left him over his choice to leave the lds church. I will not lie converting was a very difficult journey for both me and my husband and his coversion was made a lot harder by me. I cried, I pouted, and he was not perfect either. He did many things right however he showed me increased love even when I was mad about his conversion. He was very active in the catholic church and started reading scriptures and leading family prayers. (things I always wanted him to do before but he never had). There were times were my husband and I couldn’t even start to talk about religion without fighting and only recently and this is two years later have started having religious discussions that do not end up in arguments. If they are wealthy enough I would recomend a good family therapist because leaving the lds church is really that hard and communication can be very hard when you feel that you are on opposite sides of the fence.
 
Jodi said:
I was not planning on coverting when me husband first joined the Catholic Church. I almost left him over his choice to leave the lds church. I will not lie converting was a very difficult journey for both me and my husband and his coversion was made a lot harder by me. I cried, I pouted, and he was not perfect either. He did many things right however he showed me increased love even when I was mad about his conversion. He was very active in the catholic church and started reading scriptures and leading family prayers. (things I always wanted him to do before but he never had). There were times were my husband and I couldn’t even start to talk about religion without fighting and only recently and this is two years later have started having religious discussions that do not end up in arguments. If they are wealthy enough I would recomend a good family therapist because leaving the lds church is really that hard and communication can be very hard when you feel that you are on opposite sides of the fence.
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Thanks Jodi I am going to pass on your experience to my friend. He may contact you via PM if you don’t mind.
 
I don’t mind if he pm’s me. This transition time can be Very difficult for both spouses and extended family.
 
As a previous poster (Kage_ar) mentioned, yesterday’s guest on
“The Journey Home” was a former Mormon. His name is Father
Eric Richsteig from St. James Parish, Ogden, Utah. He mentioned
a book that reportedly was non-polemic on explaining the two
religions. I’m sorry I don’t remember the name of it. But maybe
it can be given to the wife and she give it to her MIL. (The program
is on video and audio through EWTN) Sort of softball to defuse
the situation.
It is a low blow for her to talk to the 8 yr old. I hope that stops.
Tell your friend, OP, that I will keep him and his family in my
prayers.
 
TexCatholic4JMJ said:
As a previous poster (Kage_ar) mentioned, yesterday’s guest on
“The Journey Home” was a former Mormon. His name is Father
Eric Richsteig from St. James Parish, Ogden, Utah. He mentioned
a book that reportedly was non-polemic on explaining the two
religions. I’m sorry I don’t remember the name of it. But maybe
it can be given to the wife and she give it to her MIL. (The program
is on video and audio through EWTN) Sort of softball to defuse
the situation.
It is a low blow for her to talk to the 8 yr old. I hope that stops.
Tell your friend, OP, that I will keep him and his family in my
prayers.
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I will pass this on – thank you!
 
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