I have a question on Confession

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Hello! I know us Catholics are encouraged to say ‘For these sins and all my sins I am truly sorry’ after stating our sins. But what if we are not truly sorry for our unmentioned sins? Does saying this statement mean that we are lying? and I suspect that I have scrupulosity but it has not been formally diagnosed fyi. Thank you!
 
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That statement is often encouraged, but as far as I know it is not required. If I were truly not sorry for a given sin, I would
  1. definitely mention the sin(s) that I’m not sorry for
  2. not say that statement
  3. ask the priest for guidance
If we say the statement despite not being sorry for all our sins, mentioned and unmentioned, we would indeed be lying (knowing we are not sorry + saying anyway that we are sorry = lie). And in confession, no less. Ugh.

Hope this helps. God bless!
 
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If you’re aware enough of a past act being sinful to refer to it as an “unmentioned sin” then this suggests you’re not being totally open and honest in confession, which is a sin in itself. And if you’re willfully not sorry for it then yes, you are lying if you say sorry for all your sins.

If on the other hand you are truly not sure if something is sinful, or are confused, or forget, and don’t mention the sin for those reasons, and are also not sorry for it because you’re not fully aware of it being a sin or have forgotten the whole thing, then you are not lying. I realize it seems very obvious to onlookers whether something is a sin or not, but the human mind under stress can play all sorts of tricks to make something seem okay when it’s really not.
 
catholicsince2003 said:
Hello! I know us Catholics are encouraged to say ‘For these sins and all my sins I am truly sorry’ after stating our sins. But what if we are not truly sorry for our unmentioned sins? Does saying this statement mean that we are lying?
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Confession is not valid without sorrow (regret) for all mortal sins. A confession with one or more venial sins only must also include sorrow for sins.

Baltimore Catechism
Q. 782. What should one do who has only venial sins to confess?
A. One who has only venial sins to confess should tell also some sin already confessed in his past life for which he knows he is truly sorry; because it is not easy to be truly sorry for slight sins and imperfections, and yet we must be sorry for the sins confessed that our confession may be valid – hence we add some past sin for which we are truly sorry to those for which we may not be sufficiently sorry.
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catholicsince2003 said:
what if we are not truly sorry for our unmentioned sins?
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What do you mean by “not truly sorry”?

Do you mean “not perfectly sorry”? (Perfect contrition is not required for absolution.)

Do you mean “not sorry at all”, such that you mean that you fully intend to repeat them after leaving the confessional?
 
I thought we only had to be sorry for the sins in confession. As in not that we shouldn’t be sorry for all sins but like what if we are attached to some sins and cannot be sorry for them
 
Hi! Last confession i said that statement but im super confused because like i was really nervous so I said that statement then only now I realized that i wasn’t fully sorry for my unmentioned sins. I had no intention of lying and now im quite fearful that i did as i have forgotten some things that i have confessed in my previous confession and do not want to repeat them again! I also remembered sins that i may have forgotten to confess and i have fears that my previous confessions were invalid! Thank you and i apologize as I may be scrupulous but have not been formally diagnosed
 
If you forget to confess something, don’t worry, it is already forgiven, but you have to mention them in the next confession, (but my priest says it is not necessary, but maybe he’s not right). Regarding not being sorry for your sins not mentioned, remember that it is not needed to mention venial sins, but it is required to mention mortal sins, and you have to be sorry for the mortal ones, I don’t know if you were lying, now that I think of it, in my last confession the priest gave me a paper with a contrition prayer to pray before absolution, I don’t remember what the prayer said, but I suspect it was about being sorry for my sins, well, I really don’t know if I were sorry for them because they were mostly venial (I guess, I am never sure if they are maybe mortal). So, I think I was lying too, but honestly I don’t worry about it because I didn’t know then. But lying in the confessional is wrong (makes it invalid) if the lie is grave, I suppose. I don’t know if that is grave. Maybe it is, but I don’t know. Lying about a mortal sin would be grave. In case you only confess venial sins, you have to include some mortal sins you are sorry for. A counsel I don’t follow sometimes, since I don’t know if I am confessing venial or mortal sins. Hope it helps.
 
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The only sins we are obligated to take to Christ in Confession are mortal sins. Three conditions must be met (and often are not or we are not sure):
  • The matter is grave
  • I did it with full knowledge (that this was a grave matter, a serious sin)
  • I did it with deliberate consent (no pressures of any sort, no long-standing habit, etc.)
For these sins we must have contrition. This means to (a) be sorry for having committed them and (b) resolve with God’s grace never to commit them again. Without these resolutions, the confession is probably invalid.

The reason for being sorry could be perfect (I am sorry because I offended God, who is all good) or imperfect (I am afraid of burning in hell). Either way works. God knows you want to be with Him either way.

Then of course there’s reparation. How will you work to avoid the near occasion of sin? Will you do some restitution? What penance will you do (besides what may be assigned to you)? There is no safer life than the penitent life. Out of the Confessional, if forgiven, we are not sinless, but sinners on a path of perfection. There is much road to be traveled.

Now comes the sticky issue - what about sins I am unable to number, or that I may have forgotten? Begin by mentioning whether or not you did a good examination of conscience. Some do one every night. Some keep a journal of faults. Some write down their sins before going to confession, then destroy the paper. If none of this was done and you really can’t recall any old sins you never mention, rest assured that God has forgiven them. God’s forgiveness is all or nothing.

What makes a confession invalid? Willfully lying to the confessor. Willfully withholding a sin because one is ashamed. Saying one is sorry for a sin when one is not is a lie. Better tell the confessor: I did X and I do not feel sorry…help me, Father. This is honesty. God loves a honest heart. He may give you the gift of compunction (feeling sorry for the sin). Ask for that gift. Also sometimes we think something is a sin, but it’s not. Let the confessor address the issue. Talk to your confessor, he is there for you, for the sake of your soul. Do not fear him.
 
Universal Contrition

“A person may make a good Confession if he is truly sorry for some venial sins even though he still has an attachment to others”
“If the penintent has only venial sins to confess and is sorry for none of them, the Confession is invalid, that is to say, the sins are not forgiven-though the Confession is not necessarily sacrilegious, for absolution was given on the presumption of the penitents’s having sorrow, whereas he did not.”
 
Read this thread! Bookcat is someone I learned a lot from.
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Bad Act of Contrition Spirituality
Than You! It was Holy Spirit inspired. I forgot the last part. I will highlight in bold. *Forgive me my sins, 0 Lord, forgive me my sins; the sins of my youth, the sins of my age, the sins of my soul, the sins of my body, my idle sins, my serious voluntary sins, the sins I know and the sins I do not know; the sins I have concealed so long, and which are now hidden from my memory. I am truly sorry for every sin, mortal and venial, for all the sins of my childhood up to the present hour. I know …
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You need to be sorry for mortal sins! That is what the Act of Contrition means.

EDIT: Ok, you were not referring to the Act of Contrition, sorry I misunderstood. But I suppose your intention was not to lie (or was it?) I would say then: don’t worry. (Of course if the sin you did not mention was mortal, that’s different, you should have mentioned it)
 
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I suggest being truly sorry at heart for any and all sins. Only confess the mortal ones; that’s what I do at least.
 
Michael16 said:
Only confess the mortal ones; that’s what I do at least.
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Maybe this is a matter of opinion, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I usually don’t have any mortal sins to confess, and I suspect maybe other people also don’t. Since a mortal sin is something that potentially destroys our relationship with God, a lot of us really actively try not to go around committing them. So if I limited myself to just listing mortal sins, I would have nothing to say in there.

I do have several venial sins to confess each time I go. Even if it’s just been a week since my last confession I can generally come up with a short list of venial sins and faults.
 
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catholicsince2003 said:
Hi! Last confession i said that statement but im super confused because like i was really nervous so I said that statement then only now I realized that i wasn’t fully sorry for my unmentioned sins. I had no intention of lying and now im quite fearful that i did as i have forgotten some things that i have confessed in my previous confession and do not want to repeat them again! I also remembered sins that i may have forgotten to confess and i have fears that my previous confessions were invalid! Thank you and i apologize as I may be scrupulous but have not been formally diagnosed
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You say you have not been formally diagnosed, well I am no priest nor psychiatrist but you sound pretty scrupulous to me. I informally diagnose you 🙂 But, next confession, without any hurry, just mention what you wrote to your priest.
 
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Thank you for all your replies! Please continue leaving your thoughts 🙂
 
Dear Catholic since 2003,
Welcome into the family. Ask yourself Why,You do not feel something you’ve done is not a sin?
There are sins, I want to confess and forget it when I go to confession. When I was little, I’d count the times I was disobedient. As I matured, and love God w my whole heart, my whole soul, and my whole strength and I am to love my neighbor as I am to love myself.
I define the area in which I am sinning. Such as, I’m having trouble w anger and hate and unforgiveness. (I don’t have those problems usually).
There are 6 sins which God says are an abomination Pride is #1. Causing discord among brethren is #6. I forget 2-5. Google God’s 6 abominable sins.
Get in line w your spirit and soul. Jesus was sinless. We will sin. Masturbation is a mortal sin. I think that is funny. It will happen and can be a problem if continued.
Finding out about it and trying is natural. Finding out why church says it’s mortal and you continue it. Not Good.
Talk to priest about things with which you disagree.
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
Hello tweedlealice! Thank you for your reply but it is not that I see no sin in sin but I’m quite attached to some sins and I’m finding trouble in letting go. Sorry if you have misunderstood me
 
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