I have another problem

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I hear all this talk about “trusting in God”, “God living through you” etc. and I was wondering what all this means? Besides the obvious question of howt this happens, why does it happen?

Why is it that some people are so seemingly “devout” and yet here I am, 3 years into it and still not a clue as to what to do?

I know I’ve posted several similar posts but I just can’t do it anymore. It seems like there is nothing out there that will help me. Nothing and no one. It seems like there is no God and Jesus was just a man. That’s it. I can’t get any mystical experience out of this (save for a few scary ones) nor can I get any inkling that i believe it could happen either.

I like to blame this one the way i was brought up. Completely atheist with the exception of a joke of a bible study when i was 10 and my mom trying to get me to go to church with her so she can hear the latest gossip…

Why don’t I deserve this enlightenment? Am I being punished…i don’t get it…please help
 
I can’t answer this but I know someone who can. His name is C. S. Lewis and his book Mere Christianity is recomended.
 
Sarcophagus,

You are in the desert, which is a spiritual dimension in which you seem to be seperated from God. You may want to read St. John of the Cross or St. Therese of Avila

Or even better and an easier read, Fr. Dubay’s, “The Fire Within.”

You don’t seem to grasp, that first of all, trust in God is not about mystical experiences or feelings or singing “Kumbayah” around a campfire with other devout Catholics,

Faith and trust are acts of the WILL, and love is not an emotion…it is also an act of the will.

Trust in God and letting Christ live through you is not about the consolations of mystical experiences…those are simply gifts God gives us from time to time. But we cannot become dependent upon them in order to understand God because if we do so, that places expectations where there should be none.

Trusting means dying to yourself and giving all of your concerns to God to hanld for you. Letting Christ shine through you is about dying to yourself and doing what is the right and Christ-like thing to do even if you don’t want to or don’t think you have time or don’t like the person your actions may benefit.

It is not an easy road, and it seems from your post that you expect carrying the cross to be an easy task.

Jesus never promised it would be easy…he only said he will be with us.

Keep in mind also that sometimes people may appear to be devout, but it is only an outward projection. You can’t judge their hearts and you have no idea what internal struggles they are having.

Look at Blessed Mother Theresa…she shone wiht the love of Christ, yet now, after her death, we learn she was dry as Death Valley in a 20 year drought.

Our Catholic experience and our experiences wiht God sometimes are very dry, but those are the times he is actually closest to us and those are the times he is working the most on our pitiful souls.

Pray, even when it’s hard, pray. Go to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, or if you don’t have perpetual adoration in your area then spend time with the hidden Jesus in the tabernacle.

Don’t expect consolations from him because that’s not what it’s about. Don’t expect huge revelations, for who are any of us to expect that kind of great blessing?

Simply show your devotion to the Lord through your actions every day and make a willful attempt to love God, to serve God and to be like God, and make a willful act of trust, even when your very heart falters the most.

Do not be discouraged, for that is a tactic of the enemy.

Do you know what I do when I feel discouraged? I carry a small crucifix with me, and in those moments when I am most afraid, most discouraged or dry, I look at the face of Jesus on that cross and in a moment, I give him everything.

It doesn’t make things easier, but it only takes a moment to put things in perspective. Consider that if Jesus could take all of that for us, we can take our own burdens and join our own sufferings with his.

This does not give warm and fuzzy feelings; it is again, an act of the will.

And even when you don’t “feel” anything, God sees and he does reward you for your faithfulness.
 
Trusting means dying to yourself and giving all of your concerns to God to hanld for you. Letting Christ shine through you is about dying to yourself and doing what is the right and Christ-like thing to do even if you don’t want to or don’t think you have time or don’t like the person your actions may benefit.
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I don’t understand how this is accomplished…how does one die to oneself and give everything to the Lord to handle? I don’t understand it…it makes me want to cry because I can’t.

P.S. I’m in the middle of “Mere Christianity” right now…i’m enjoying it…but thanks anyway
 
I hear all this talk about “trusting in God”, “God living through you” etc. and I was wondering what all this means?
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It means to put your trust in God - not your feelings, not your experience, not your circumstances. Be assured that if you are open to it, God will work through you at every opportunity - whether you experience it or not.
I can’t get any mystical experience out of this (save for a few scary ones) nor can I get any inkling that i believe it could happen either.
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Not everyone is going to have mystical experiences. You may not feel anything in an emotional way. The changes in perception may be so subtle that you don’t even recognize them as such until after the fact and you can see, “Oh, I lost my doubt about that point right there, and then X happened, and that increased my faith.”

Mother Teresa of the Sisters of Charity lived for most of her life in a complete state of aridity, not feeling the presence of God at all. She perservered to the end, no matter what her feelings and experiences were telling her. She did what she heard God ask her to do, even though He never seemed to give her any indication that He existed after that.
Why don’t I deserve this enlightenment? Am I being punished…i don’t get it…please help
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It isn’t a matter of “deserving,” and no, you’re not being punished. 🙂

This is one area in which the new age movement goes seriously astray. Enlightenment is treated as some kind of brownie point or reward for study and meditation - enlightment is almost the destination.

In Christianity, enlightenment is a grace given to you to better enable you to perservere to the end, no matter what your circumstances tell you. A tool for your spiritual toolbox.

Seek first the kingdom of God - everything else falls in after that. Everyone is different, so our walk with Christ will be different from everyone else’s.

Know that the Creator of all relates to each of us individually and firmly push anything that argues to the contrary out of your mind. Make prayer a habit.

The evil one knows how to use our previous philosophies against our new growing faith. It’s very convenient and so much easier in some ways to not even believe in the existence of evil and that’s just what he uses first to tempt us away from his enemy.

Christ’s burden is easy and the yoke is light - it’s giving up our ideas about the nature of “ease” that is difficult.

Dying to oneself is a process - as is learning to give everything to the Lord. We tend to keep offering ourselves to God and then snatching back things to try to make them the way that we want them. God wants more good for us than we want for ourselves, but it’s hard to see that when we want to be healthy or rich or popular or whatever. We keep trying to control those things to which we are attached - learning to give them into God’s keeping is a process. Keep praying. Little hops of faith are big leaps for us. God knows that. He wants us to keep trying, to the end, no matter how we are tested.

Peace of Christ upon you,
 
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sarcophagus:
I don’t understand how this is accomplished…how does one die to oneself and give everything to the Lord to handle? I don’t understand it…it makes me want to cry because I can’t.

P.S. I’m in the middle of “Mere Christianity” right now…i’m enjoying it…but thanks anyway
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Dying to oneself for the Lord…
trust me…it’s an ongoing process so don’t feel out of sorts for not ‘getting it’.

Right now it seems you are expecting too much from yourself.
You are expecting to be like the rest of us within 3 short years, thinking we’ve got it all, when in fact, we’re still growing too.

You are like a 3 month old infant wanting to be like the 30 year old adults around you and you think if you do something you can make your spiritual growth move faster to catch up with us, but that’s not the way it works.

This is where that whole Trust in God thing comes into play. He** will **bring you to Him. He already has begun. But it takes time, and grace, and patience. Stop looking for signs and start focusing on being “in the moment”. Before you know it you’ll have grown without realizing it, because that’s how He works. He feeds us what we can handle at each step of the way. As a toddler you’re still on baby-food, you’ll graduate to soft foods and then onto the steaks but it’s not something you can do on your own just because you want to. It’s given to you, you’re guided through the journey.

For myself - I was born and raised Catholic, but am only now (these past two years) actually understanding what that means, and I’m in my mid 40s. So honestly, there is no manual for this sort of thing. If I do X, Y, Z it doesn’t mean I get the prize. I’d been doing A, B, C all my life and then CLICK suddenly the pieces fit together and I had that ‘aha!’ moment. Imagine that - waiting 40 some odd years for that “Aha!” Others get their moment earlier, but mine came from being a parent and it clicked when they got hormonal…God guided me to this moment of my spiritual journey through my children.

All along I trusted, and He has never failed me. I learned long ago to just follow His lead and to stop trying to get there on my own. For a control-person, that sure wasn’t easy, and I still forget to let go of the controls from time to time. But life is always better when I let go.

So take a deep breath, take the pressure off youself to ‘feel’ anything mystical, and keep reading…keep talking to us…keep going to Mass…enjoy the trip, knowing it’s a long one, so that you can develop patience along the way.
 
Thanks everyone!! I find it hard to believe that everyone I know has told me that I have “the patience of a saint” and yet on the path towards holiness I have no patience at all.

Let me explain my position a little clearer as I have thought about it a little more. I grew up compleley void of any religion. My parents taught me not to believe anything only what is finite and “real”. In other words, I come by my skepticism honestly. I’m a scientist by nature and also in everyday life ( Biotechnologist) so I almost expect results in everything I do because that is what I’m used to. Anything without immediate results gets a headful of skepticism.

This, I believe, is my biggest fault because I desire so much to believe in anything but I can’t. I always have a possible explanation of why it is not but never one for why it could be. It doesn’t matter what endeavour I try. I once tried to become a wiccan but found purely scientific explanations for all their beliefs and therefore, could not allow myself to believe it. The reason I’m so attracted to catholicism is that I have yet to figure out the scientific reasons or the beliefs are supported by science.

I think that my biggest obstacle is placing my trust in something that I’m not completely sure is there. Not only that but what does one say to themselves…ie…“Well, I still don’t have a job so I’m gonna put out some resumes and let God do the rest”? Is that what placing ones trust in God means? If so, isn’t that more like a laid back attitude?

Sorry for all the questioning but I’m starting to get worried that the drugs made me think more clearly than I can now…

Thanks again
 
Sarc,

Let me give you an example of trusting in God and dying to oneself.

I recently had a lesson in this.

A couple weeks ago I was taking part in a Life in the Spirit seminar, and as I had been through it before I was assigned as a group leader. I also walked in the first day and was handed the ininerary for the class, and almost fell over when I saw that I was to give a talk on “the Experience of the Holy Spirit”.

I spoke to the group leader and to Father about this, and was really not sure I was supposed to give this talk, but apparently Father had suggested me very directly.

I had only a week to prepare, and nothing came to me. I thought and thought and…nothing. I was not trusting in God.

Finally, it was Wednesday, adn the following evening, I was to give my talk.

As I sat through the seminar, mentally I gave up…I told God that he had to arrange this because my ideas were vague and unconstucted. I had no real idea what to do or say and I felt like I was about to let everyone down.

Then the ideas came and I jotted some notes and in the next 24 hours organized them a bit. But I didn’t know how to end my speech or even if the rest of it would make any sense.

Immediately before I was to speak I complained to God and told him I wasn’t ready and I felt like I was doing a book report for a book I hadn’t really read. I told God that I hadn’t done any public speaking in years and I preferred to sit in the back and just work in the background, thank you very much. I did NOT want to be in front of people.

A still, quiet voice spoke to my heart and told me that what I had to do was “die” to my own desires and obey the group leader and Father, who both wanted me to speak.

And the lighbulb went on. I went up and gave my talk and apparently it was a big success.

The point is this: I learned that “dying to oneself” is about putting your own desires aside on behalf of someone else. If you are awakened at 3 am by a friend who is stranded at the side of the road, and you really want to sleep but instead, get up to help her, that is a form of dying to yourself.

Does that make more sense? Sometimes in order to understand these concepts we have to put them in context. There are many ways to die to oneself and the ones who are best at it are called saints. Look to St. Therese the Little Flower, and read her book, “The Story of a Soul”. She sufferered “little deaths” all the time as she worked to grow in holiness.

Hope that helps!
 
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