"I have no friends" A video that has gone viral

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

A person can slip into social isolation before they even realize it.
They get busy with work, they get lazy about reaching out, the months slip by.
A trial hits them and they’re too embarrassed to reach out, or they consciously decide to wait until it “all blows over” (which never happens).
Aloneness becomes the new normal and the social skill become rusty.

And it goes on and on…

 

[Tis_Bearself]

do we say a prayer like “Jesus, I unite my suffering to yours” and then poof it’s united? And can all suffering be united?

I think if you have a sincere desire to unite your sufferings to Jesus then yes, it gets united based on your sincere wish.
And sure, all suffering can be united to that of Jesus and “offered up”, if each suffering person has a sincere desire to do that for each little suffering. It doesn’t have to be a big suffering. It could be as simple as some annoyance, like you spilled something on the floor and had to clean up a big mess when you were in a hurry. Every little bit helps.

 

[Irishmom2]

Funny!

I am not saying CAF can’t be like that too sometimes, but people don’t post their minute by minute doings for the world all the time.

“I got up late this morning. I ate half a bagel. I pet my cat. I polished my shoes. I watched the traffic go down my street.” Who cares?

This kind of posting to “friends” is not going to deepen any friendships.

 

[Jessie]

It’s hard though to make friends. My son is having a really tough time having moved to a new city to study, he literally has no human contact for days. He goes to lectures, returns without exchanging a word. He hasn’t made a single friend. He’ll go to the gym, do his stuff and come back to his single room and sit there by himself.

I have plenty of acquaintances but not many friends. I pray every day for A Catholic friend, but none so far

How does an adult, and if I may say, especially à woman make new friends. Men can sit in a bar without being unusual or watch or play football. I think it’s easier for men, but nevertheless difficult for all adults, especially if you’re naturally introverted.

 

[aroosi]

As somebody said, friend is somebody you can call at three in the morning if you need to. All the others are acquaintances.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Men can sit in a bar without being unusual or watch or play football.

Women can also sit in a bar without being unusual, or watch sports, or (if physically able) play sports.
I’ve sat in bars. I don’t see them as great places to make friends though, unless it is the “corner bar” that is serving the neighborhood and has a regular clientele, or a bar geared to people with a certain interest such as an alternative music bar, a gamers bar, etc. The UK has the same idea with respect to “local pubs” and it may work better there, partly because people are less likely to be driving a car to and from the pub.

In today’s world, coffee shops or even McDonalds or Waffle House function in the same way as the “corner bar” or “local pub” for many people. They come in every day for breakfast or lunch, get to know the wait staff and others who come in every day, chat with friends there. I see many retirees doing this in the diners and fast food restaurants (to the point where McDonald’s serves a “Senior Coffee” at a special price so they can have one and sit with friends) and younger people or artsy/ musical people going to the coffee house.

 

[blackforest]

This kind of posting to “friends” is not going to deepen any friendships.

It is symptomatic of loneliness, I think. I ditched Facebook years ago, but it always broke my heart when somebody posted something like, “Well, goodnight everybody.” Maybe our role as Catholics is to reach out to them and check in with them more personally.

How does an adult, and if I may say, especially à woman make new friends. Men can sit in a bar without being unusual or watch or play football. I think it’s easier for men, but nevertheless difficult for all adults, especially if you’re naturally introverted.

Have you looked at something like Meetup.com? I joined up with a weekly knitting group. I haven’t formed super close friendships in it, (I’m coming to learn as an adult that those are a super rare blessing), but it feels good to get out and chat with the “girls.” Also, as a mom, I’ve quickly learned that park days and play dates are as much more moms as for the kiddos.

Is your son Catholic? A lot of campuses have Newman Centers where Catholic students can hang out, socialize, and study during the day. During grad school, it was a godsend for me.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

My son is having a really tough time having moved to a new city to study, he literally has no human contact for days. He goes to lectures, returns without exchanging a word. He hasn’t made a single friend.

Yeah, on the subject of your son, he needs to start actually talking to his classmates, professors etc. I spent a lot of years in college programs, full or part time, and it was super easy to meet people there as opposed to most other places in society because you have the classes in common and you see the same people day after day for months or years. Also there are always a lot of extracurricular activities, and some are even related to the field of study and could be resume builders.

A few minutes of chatting before class or after class, or grabbing a coffee together, or being part of a study group, or having lunch with classmates, can all lead to a friendship. If your son chooses to just go to class, talk to no one, and go immediately back to his room, then he’s missing out on a lot of opportunities. One has to reach out to people.