I have questions about what Autism is because a friend seems to have it

[antiSatan5]

I know this person who keeps to himself a lot and doesn't talk much to anyone, even though I tried talking to him quite a bit about.. well, it's possible I was actually getting a bit nosey, but I was very curious about the situation he is currently in. It looks to me like his family has totally rejected him (he's in his 40s) and according to him, he doesn't have a clue as to why. I find that very strange. I even told him that he must know of some reason or potential reason for why they did that to him, but he insists that.. their big Goodbye is a big mystery. Well, I'm a rather scientific-minded person and that doesn't make sense to me. I would think that no family, even a bad one, would ditch one of its members for no valid reason. Anyway, the guy does not conform to standard social norms, but when I suggested to him he may be autistic, he insisted he wasn't. Well, something is not "normal" or whatever about him, so I am wondering.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Doesn't sound like much of a family to me.

I'm finding anymore that "autism" is becoming a catch-all for anyone and everyone who doesn't fit fairly rigid "norms" of neurotypicality. Frankly, I think autistic people make a very good point, in suggesting that you shouldn't have to read someone's mind, read their non-verbals, to know what they are really thinking, and what they really mean. That's playing games. Say what's on your mind, and if you don't have the you-know-whats to do that, then don't rely on others to figure it out. Likewise, no one ever calls out anyone for having intense and all-consuming interest in things such as sports, physical fitness, making money, fashion, or popular culture. There are some people who are just as obsessed with these things, as there are harmless eccentrics who focus on arcane topics such as railroads or elevators.

I think autism is very often a junk diagnosis.

 

[antiSatan5]

Doesn't sound like much of a family to me.

I'm finding anymore that "autism" is becoming a catch-all for anyone and everyone who doesn't fit fairly rigid "norms" of neurotypicality. Frankly, I think autistic people make a very good point, in suggesting that you shouldn't have to read someone's mind, read their non-verbals, to know what they are really thinking, and what they really mean. That's playing games. Say what's on your mind, and if you don't have the you-know-whats to do that, then don't rely on others to figure it out. Likewise, no one ever calls out anyone for having intense and all-consuming interest in things such as sports, physical fitness, making money, fashion, or popular culture. There are some people who are just as obsessed with these things, as there are harmless eccentrics who focus on arcane topics such as railroads or elevators.

I think autism is very often a junk diagnosis.

I've had the same thought as that last line. But I'm a little confused about some of the other things u say. To me, it is this person (who I suspect of being austistic) who is the one who expects people to read his mind. That's what I often think anyway... I wish he would tell me more about his upbringing but I know he was an only child so presumably, he was over-indulged/spoiled (maybe spoiled rotten, for all I know). Maybe Mommy (and/or Daddy) virtually read his mind every moment of his life so now he expects others to do the same? I don't know... just thinking about all this. But yeh, he is the one who seems to be playing games, but I don't want to judge someone (by drawing un-provable conclusions) since I don't know much of what is going on inside of him or anyone else. But he acts in an anti-social kind of way at times, so sometimes I find myself not trusting him and wondering if I should try to be a closer friend than I am? I have helped him bc he has some serious needs un-met in his life, but I am always cautious as to how I do that. He seems harmless, and maybe even overly-docile.. I've never seen him display anger, just irritation.. However, sometimes he exhibits irritation when none seems to be called for! So that is rather odd. Again, he may just have been spoiled (which gives a person expectations)... Well, I was once going to be a psychologist and I guess I never out-grew my curiosity about.. how and why people act as they do/think as they do, so that's part of the reason I am focused on these issues.

 

[antiSatan5]

Doesn't sound like much of a family to me.

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I've had the same thought about this person. And I didn't have a great family myself, so I should know what it's like to have family reject you when there was no valid reason for it. I don't know why I used the word Valid in my post.. just a mistake I made. I, of all people, know how families can be. I guess I was just thinking that most families are not like mine, but why would I think that? Some are even worse. I've read many biographies.