Well, not only do I still not like children, I have harmed one.
I was having an extremely bad day one day a few weeks ago. This 4 or 5 year old kid was ahead of me, throwing a tantrum, refused to walk and made me wait with my 20-pounds grocery bag. His mother knew I wanted to cross but couldn’t be bothered to be considerate to let me pass, and I blew it. I kicked his little foot to make him startled so that he could walk. It wasn’t a murderous kick. In fact it was so light both he and his mother did not notice it. But I shouldn’t have. It was totally wrong of me, I know. But I don’t feel guilty.
Dear dluna, I am not one to judge you on your account of irritability which has caused you to act the way you did. It won’t help you either. :console: After all, I too had the same issue with being cranky, I still do occasionally if I do not have enough sleep or enough sugar.
I do not think that your dislike of kids have created a major influence on you to react that way but rather you were impatient & irritated simply because you were struggling with the heavy bag. Your dislike of children was merely the trigger to all the build-up tension at that point of time.
Was it wrong? Yes. Would I confront you if I saw that? Perhaps. But don’t beat yourself up about it. We all have our ups & downs. You do need to work on empathy though. :yup:
Should I confess about things I don’t feel guilty about? Can I start off my confession by saying I confess to not being guilty of being unkind to children?
You may tell your confessor that and seek his opinion. Don’t let how you feel give you any reason not go to Confession, dluna. I yearn so much to be able to go to Confession & receive my penance for all the bad I have done. I am not able to at the moment, just because I am unbaptized yet. Confession & prayer will only do you good and never any harm.
I am still at a crossroad with this issue about kids. And the community is not helping. Every damn Catholic old lady is asking how many kids I have, and I feel judged. I feel like if you have 5 kids, you’re part of a holy Catholic couple. If you have none, you’re a sinning sinner. People look at me like my husband and I are using rubber and having hot sex every night.
Perhaps they were just showing concern in their own ways and that their approach was not very desirable to you because you felt insecure about not having kids among everyone else who do. Please bear in mind though, most Christians are not experts on Personal Relations & won’t be able to guess how you feel or what’s going on in your mind. But I believe their intent was good. If however, they think they have any right in judging you in God’s place, shame on them. But do not let that put you down or away from God. Your priorities is with God, no one else hold a more important place.
I do agree with many posters that marriage & having kids can be a very joyous thing, but provided both of you are in the right state of mind for it in the long run. Else you might make yourselves more miserable in the end. Try seeking a priest’s advice, some counselling & therapy on the matters pertaining to having kids as well as for the temperaments. Imagine having your own baby and what it will be like to watch him/her grow up. Do some self-reflection to find out if having kids will help you both at all.
At the end of the day, no one knows you better than God & you yourself. Consider all the advices given by people of goodwill but don’t ever feel forced that you must have kids simply because someone guilt trips you or pulls out the bible and tells you so. One man’s medicine is another man’s poison. No one here will bear any responsibility I assure you, should your state of mind worsen due to following what was adviced. Ultimately, its a choice both you & your husband have to agree on in the end. Do both of yourself a favor, seek both religious & professional advice from the right people.
God Bless,:hug1:
GuyNextDoor
