I just had the strangest, most awkward confession I've ever been to

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marthagreys

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I was out of town and thankful for reconciliation at a different parish. But it went differently than anything I’ve ever experienced. First, I never got the opportunity to actually name any specific sins. The priest went through his own list of sin questions: “Since your last confession have you lied? Gotten angry at your family/co-workers? Gossipped? etc.” Then when he got to what was the end of his list, he asked me if I was sorry for my sins and my “yes” answer counted for my act of contrition. Then for my act of contrition, he told me to say a couple of prayers or do something that would be helpful to me. The whole thing was just odd - not what I feel was a valid confession, especially since some of the things I needed to confess weren’t on his list. Guess I know where I’ll be next Saturday - confession!
 
marthagreys said:
I was out of town and thankful for reconciliation at a different parish. But it went differently than anything I’ve ever experienced. First, I never got the opportunity to actually name any specific sins. The priest went through his own list of sin questions: “Since your last confession have you lied? Gotten angry at your family/co-workers? Gossipped? etc.” Then when he got to what was the end of his list, he asked me if I was sorry for my sins and my “yes” answer counted for my act of contrition. Then for my act of contrition, he told me to say a couple of prayers or do something that would be helpful to me. The whole thing was just odd - not what I feel was a valid confession, especially since some of the things I needed to confess weren’t on his list. Guess I know where I’ll be next Saturday - confession!
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I see where you were taken by surprise by this confessional episode. Father probably went down the line of a list touching on the possible sins of breaking the 10 commandments. Can you recall?
 
No, he didn’t really run through the 10 commandments. Some of what I had to confess was directly related to one of them, and none of his questions even came close enough to include it. It wasn’t an all-inclusive list of questions where just about any sin would be included.
 
How weird! I wonder if I would have had the nerve to say, “Before I leave, Father, may I confess the sins I actually HAVE committed?” (Probably not. I’m not that quick-thinking, and not that brave. I probably would have done what you decided to do — confess to another priest later.)
 
I did for a minute - a very brief minute - consider saying something like that, but decided that I wasn’t likely to get a satisfactory response no matter what. I felt that if a priest genuinally believed that was an appropriate confession experience then I was better off just going somewhere else at a later date. It’s so frustrating though to be expecting the sense of peace that comes with the sacrament and then no be able to experience it.
 
Yes Martha, just go to confession again…elsewhere.

If I feel that the priest hasn’t fully understood my sin I say, ‘yes, but…’ and then tell him again or clarify it. Once I had to restate my sin three times until I was sure he understood.

I do that sort of thing during confession for exactly for the same reason you started this thread… it’s because I know that if I don’t it will play on my mind until I can get to confession again… and life’s too short for that 🙂

You are fully in your right at the end to say something along the lines of, ‘excuse me but I would like to add… or explain…’ and carry on until you feel that you have made a good confession.

Rove
 
Fr. Larry Richards, the guy with the famous confession CD, will do a procedure like you experienced if you ask him for “the questions.” His list is pretty exhaustive. I think it’s designed for people who are too ashamed to actually name their sins, like teenagers. I’m sure he lets people confess the regular way if they wish, however.

Betsy
 
That does sound like a different kind of confession. As long as he absolved you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, it was a valid confession. If you had no mortal sins to confess or if you have committed any mortal sins and they were named during the question list, that was a full, valid confession. If you had mortal sins to confess but they were not mentioned in that question list, it was a valid confession but you will have to mention those mortal sins next time you go to the confessional in the context of “i did not name these mortal sins during my last confession. . .”
 
🤷 Wow…now that was odd. I would have been just as uncomfortable with that as you were! Thankfully I have never encountered confession like that. And I would be going again as soon as I got home! Blessings and better luck next time.
 
baltobetsy said:
Fr. Larry Richards, the guy with the famous confession CD, will do a procedure like you experienced if you ask him for “the questions.” His list is pretty exhaustive. I think it’s designed for people who are too ashamed to actually name their sins, like teenagers. I’m sure he lets people confess the regular way if they wish, however.

Betsy
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I think his last question is: “Is there anything else?” Which would have been helpful in this case.
 
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