I lied, and I now dearly regret it. Will confession be enough?

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Yeshua_s_Gal

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I am facing a huge moral dilemma right now, or at least it is huge to me.

Bottom line, I called in sick late last night for work today, at the large institution I work for. Why did I do this? Well basically, I’ve been struggling with some pretty serious depression, and yesterday it hit its limit…I was crying, despondent, hopeless, and truly feeling incapable of making it to work and acting “normal”.

To top it all off, my on-off boyfriend called me very late last night and only made my depression and anxiety worse…it was literally head-buried-in-my-pillow-crying-my-eyes-out-time after that…and he didn’t let me off the phone til almost 2am, with my having to be at work at 6:30am.

I deeply, profoundly regret lying to my boss last night when I called in sick, but I have worked there long enough to know that calling in sick for the reasons I had would be met with cynicism, disdain, and a “suck it up and come on in to work attitude”.

So I lied.
I told him I had been very nauseous, throwing up, etc, and needed to stay home. And I have felt contrite about doing it ever since, even though I know that for the sake of my mental health, I needed to stay home.

My question? When I go to confession to my priest, state the facts as I have expressed them here, and genuinely resolve to never do this again, do you feel that the priest is going to require me to admit my lie to my co-workers?
This is really stressing me out, but I realize fully that this is a situation of my own making.

God bless you all,
Y.G.
 
I don’t think that you lied more like you twisted the truth. Depression is a sickness. Depression is a diffucult disorder to deal with on your own. I suggest that you see your family doctor there are medications out there that do help. Confession is also a good place to go to help you with your depression. You have to be spiritualy well and physically well also and they go hand in hand with each other. Remember one thing when you look behind you and see only one set of footprints they are not yours but of our Saviour Jesus Christ, He is there carrying you through your diffucult times. I know that this true when I look back and see only one set of footprints in my times of trial that it was the grace of God that I made it through it.

Glory be to Jesus Christ! Glory Forever!
 
You could just tell the priest all this during confessionand he will probably be able to give way better advice on how to handle all of this perhaps. I have heard confession seems to heal a lot of depression, and it does for me sometimes depending on what the problem is. I’d just relax and be honest with your co-workers though, if they ask and if you trust them (as co-workers) then the truth will not be too difficult. They may even offer some help/advice. I also usually just tell people politely and with different words not to worry about it and that you are better, and change the subject.
 
I have never heard a priest tell anyone to confess to any person. It seems as though you are going into the confessional with a contrite heart and you need to trust in Jesus and trust that you will be forgiven. Your Priest should be ale to offer you some comfort and guildance.
Absolution takes away the sin but it doesn’t remedy the disorder the sin has caused you. Your spiritual health needs to recover and in order to do that penance is needed.
Hope this helps.
Trust in His Divine Mercy.
 
Good advice, to be sure.
But it will be difficult to be honest with my co-workers regarding the lie I told, as it is a tight knit, gossipy department, and while I trust them in some matters, I don’t think I could trust them with this.

As you suggested, I will simply tell them “I’m doing better, thanks” and leave it at that.

Thanks, and God’s blessings to you.

:blessyou:
 
This really is the warmest, most helpful and prayerful MB I’m come across in many a moon…and trust me, I’ve frequented them all.

You are both right, God’s mercy and forgiveness in persona Christi will both heal ans restore my spirit and mind.

I’ll keep you posted, and thanks to those of you who have given me such a warm welcome.

In Christ,
Yeshua’s Gal (Annie) :tiphat:
 
I dont think that you need to come clean to your boss, but that is just my opinion. The idea for restitution is to make things right! So if you had stolen property you could make restitution by returning the stuff you stole. In this case there is nothing to give back, neither is there any information that will be helpful to any of them. They do not benefit in the least by knowing that you were not actually throwing up! Dont be too hard on yourself, a good confession will clear the matter right up.
 
FWIW, the lie wasn’t right…but it also wasn’t necessary. There’s a relatively new federal law called HIPPAA which basically says that medical information is completely confidential and that an employee is not required to provide any details of their “illness” to the employer unless it impacts upon your ability to do your job or presents a public health risk. Since neither is the case, when you call in sick just tell your boss that you’re feeling terrible and need the day for R&R. As long as you’re not out for 3 days or longer, they have to take your word for it…as long as you’re not seen on TV at a Cubs game or some such faux pas.
 
I dont’ think you lied, sure you said you were sick, but how could you perform your job correctly if you were crying and tired? You were saving your boss money by not wasting his/her time. Sure, it wasn’t right to lie about beign sick but at least you had a reason, not just that you didn’t feel like working. i wouldn’t worry about it.
 
God loves you. You’ll be forgiven. I seriously doubt the priest will tell you, as part of your penance, to confess to the others, and you won’t be required to do so (unless you, and only you choose to do so)

God loves you! God Loves you!! God Loves you! (I gotta repeat this!)

Please, don’t allow yourself to get too scrupulous. It will compound your depression, and unnecessarily cause you pain. I recommend getting a good spiritual director. Ask your priest if he can recommend one.
 
Yeshua's Gal:
This really is the warmest, most helpful and prayerful MB I’m come across in many a moon…and trust me, I’ve frequented them all.

You are both right, God’s mercy and forgiveness in persona Christi will both heal ans restore my spirit and mind.

I’ll keep you posted, and thanks to those of you who have given me such a warm welcome.

In Christ,
Yeshua’s Gal (Annie) :tiphat:
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Just as one more person to put my $0.02 in. Yep, you lied. But the lie wasn’t that you were sick. The lie was in regard to the sickness you had. When you go to the priest, just tell him that you called in sick at work but told them you were physically ill when in fact you were not mentally able to go to work because of depression and lack of sleep. I wouldn’t really go any further than that because that pretty well covers it.

As to telling your co-workers, I would just tell them you weren’t feeling well and are feeling better now. The end. Period. Just let it go at that. It’s none of their business.

Now as far as your depression and such, you might, if there is time, ask the priest for his advice on what you might do to get over this depression and such. I wouldn’t get too carried away with it but ask him for his advice and recommendations. He might even ask you to make an appointment to talk with you outside of the confessional.

I’ll give you one. Next time you go to mass, stop by the Mary statue (for some statue worshippin’-just aggravatin’ the Protestants ;)) and say a few Memorare’s asking her for her help. It’s surprisin’ sometimes, how quickly she can work.

God bless.
Whit
 
I support what others have told you regarding telling your boss & co-workers that you were’t really physically ill. However, if you believe that you suffer from depression, please seek professional help. Family doctors often do not keep up with psych meds and may either prescribe them for the wrong reason or in the wrong dosage. Case in point: a family member was prescribed an anti-anxiety drug for depression, then put on an anti-depressant at a too-low dose. Your local mental helath center will have both therapists who can help with the depression and psychiatrists who can prescribe meds appropriately. You may want to check with your priest for the name of a Catholic counselor.

Peace,
Linda

PS mental health therapist 🙂
 
You did tell a lie - describing an illness you didn’t have, because you knew they would not consider your actual illness legitimate.

Even before the law quoted by another poster, you never have to tell your employer what your illness is - it is simply not their business, unless it arose directly from your employment.

Depression, and not having been able to get sufficient rest is very much a legitimate reason not to go to work - you simply would not have been able to function.

No priest will require you to tell your co-workers that you lied. First of all, the lie was a venial sin, not a mortal one. Second, your co-workers have absolutely no right to know why you were absent from work. And your employer only needs to know that you were not well, nothing more. Even if you were ill for 3 or more days, thus requiring a doctor’s note, that should not state the actual diagnosis.

So, confess the lie, if you wish (venial sins do not have to be confessed in confession), and make up your mind that, in future, you will simply phone your employer and say “I will not be able to come to work today, I’m not well.”

I’m sorry that the prevailing attitude to depression is one of disdain. As someone who once suffered with depression, I understand how you feel, and I realize that your co-workers have no idea that depression, together with the difficult night, would render you totally incapable of “sucking up” anything, except more tears!

Take care of yourself.
 
Joan M and Loyal Rambler have given some very thoughtful advice. By all means talk to a good confessor. But don’t be too hard on yourself.

An employer should not require employees to work when they are not able to do a proper job. Physical illness is not the only reason. Sheer exhaustion may be the result of worry or tension with family members, etc. It is wrong for an employer to create a work environment in which an employee must describe an “acceptable” type of illness in order to be excused.

When a system becomes corrupt to some degree, people begin to use minor circumlocutions and subterfuge just to do what they have a right to do. This happens in totalitarian countries, and it happens on a smaller scale when businesses or family members become a bit overbearing. I am not even sure whether the statement, “I am feeling nauseous today” necessarily implies physical illness. It just means you are “sick to your stomach” which could just mean “too upset to work today.”

When my employees call me and say, “not feeling well” or “really feeling poorly” I take them at their word. Honestly, when they go beyond that, I’d prefer they’d spare me the details. As long as they are not abusing the leave benefits, it is not my business why they are not up to doing the job that day.
 
seems the question here is the value of the sacrament of confession. You confessed, were absolved, followed the counsel of the priest. What I or any forum member thinks is irrelevant. Jesus gave that priest the power to forgive your sins, so you are forgiven. It gone, wiped away. Move on. Of course do whatever you need to to at work, with relationships, your mental and physical health, whatever it takes but never doubt the mercy of Jesus Christ. Hope this helps, only cure for depression I ever found that helped at all was the rosary.
 
I don’t think you have anything to worry about once you confess your lie. Actually, when you call out sick at work, is it really necessary to go into all the gory details of your sickness? It’s really nobody’s business what exactly is wrong with you. I think it is sufficient to tell your boss, “I’m not feeling well and won’t be in.” It’s none of his business or any of your coworkers’ business either. And, as you said, when you return, just say, “Yes, I’m feeling better now.”

Depression is a bona-fide illness and there is no lie in calling out sick because of symptoms of depression.

Once you go to confession and express your true remorse for this lie, God has forgiven you. I think now it’s time to forgive yourself.

In the future, make it easier on yourself by simply telling your boss you are sick and sparing him the details. In his eyes, you are not coming in to work and the reasons are really inconsequential from a business point of view.

God bless you. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Yeshua's Gal:
I am facing a huge moral dilemma right now, or at least it is huge to me.

Bottom line, I called in sick late last night for work today, at the large institution I work for. Why did I do this? Well basically, I’ve been struggling with some pretty serious depression, and yesterday it hit its limit…I was crying, despondent, hopeless, and truly feeling incapable of making it to work and acting “normal”.

To top it all off, my on-off boyfriend called me very late last night and only made my depression and anxiety worse…it was literally head-buried-in-my-pillow-crying-my-eyes-out-time after that…and he didn’t let me off the phone til almost 2am, with my having to be at work at 6:30am.

I deeply, profoundly regret lying to my boss last night when I called in sick, but I have worked there long enough to know that calling in sick for the reasons I had would be met with cynicism, disdain, and a “suck it up and come on in to work attitude”.

So I lied.
I told him I had been very nauseous, throwing up, etc, and needed to stay home. And I have felt contrite about doing it ever since, even though I know that for the sake of my mental health, I needed to stay home.

My question? When I go to confession to my priest, state the facts as I have expressed them here, and genuinely resolve to never do this again, do you feel that the priest is going to require me to admit my lie to my co-workers?
This is really stressing me out, but I realize fully that this is a situation of my own making.

God bless you all,
Y.G.
Click to expand...
Why not talk to the Priest? God Bless:)
 
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