I lost myself.

[Michael_Howard]

Please everyone understand that I am not arguing about the teachings of the Catholic faith when it comes to homosexuality. I’m here because I want to learn and understand the reasons behind these things. With the way I see things, I just don’t understand. :-/

It’s definately not an easy thing to unpack but I just want to say I’m glad you are here and reached out. Just enjoy your time here learning, sharing and developing friendships. We all have wounds, we all have pain, we all have a story. God bless you.

 

[Maryam]

Prayers for you

God bless

JBSmith

 

[archangel63]

See, here is where I am confused. I did not lust for Andy. Our relationship grew out of friendship for each other and he respected the fact that I didn’t want to have sex with someone I was not going to spend my life with. He gave me my space and treated me with respect, and it was only when I wanted to that I gave him that part of me. Also, he never deceived me as to his relationship with Ray. It was a bad decision, and I won’t be making the same mistake again, but he was always honest with me.

What ever way you look at it…this whole thing has caused pain in your life. Has it not? What you got into caused you pain. This thread is titled “I lost myself.” I know what you are feeling. You have a hole inside of you now. You gave a special part of yourself to someone who didn’t cherish it. Ray means more to him than you do. This hurts very badly. I went through this with more than one guy (and many other scenarios all ending in sadness). I have come to the realization that gay relationships are futile. After 15 years of bad experiences I was to “baggaged-out” to deal with it anymore. And all those so-called monogamous gay relationships out there are mostly farce (97% of the time one of the partners ducks out occasionally, trust me). You can call me jaded, but you can also call me experienced. I’ve seen it all.

Find happiness around and within you. Enjoy life. Pray for grace. Ask God to help you carry your cross. He can love you like no one else can.

 

[C_Bautista]

Wow, such humility ! I like to think of myself as a practicing, humble Catholic teenager (well, 19 now), but I always find myself putting Church teaching under the firing squad of hard reason and logic. Here, you don’t necessarily understand the teachings completely, but are willing to acknowledge their validity and have the humility to live by them anyway.

Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe!

Please pray for me! I will be praying for you.

 

[unloud]

What ever way you look at it…this whole thing has caused pain in your life. Has it not? What you got into caused you pain. This thread is titled “I lost myself.” I know what you are feeling. You have a hole inside of you now. You gave a special part of yourself to someone who didn’t cherish it. Ray means more to him than you do. This hurts very badly. I went through this with more than one guy (and many other scenarios all ending in sadness). I have come to the realization that gay relationships are futile. After 15 years of bad experiences I was to “baggaged-out” to deal with it anymore. And all those so-called monogamous gay relationships out there are mostly farce (97% of the time one of the partners ducks out occasionally, trust me). You can call me jaded, but you can also call me experienced. I’ve seen it all.

Find happiness around and within you. Enjoy life. Pray for grace. Ask God to help you carry your cross. He can love you like no one else can.

Thank you, and I am doing so. I’m just trying to understand the Church’s reasoning. It’s important to me to understand why I’m doing something; it ties me closer to my faith. I know there has to be something I’m missing, but I just don’t see it.

Wow, such humility ! I like to think of myself as a practicing, humble Catholic teenager (well, 19 now), but I always find myself putting Church teaching under the firing squad of hard reason and logic. Here, you don’t necessarily understand the teachings completely, but are willing to acknowledge their validity and have the humility to live by them anyway.

Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe!

Please pray for me! I will be praying for you.

I don’t consider myself to have humility. I still very much need reasoning behind the things I believe in, and I don’t really understand a lot of things yet. I do know that I want a closer relationship to God, and want to find that through the Catholic faith.

I’m not sure if you really want me to pray for you, as it seems I can barely pray for myself but I’ll try. Thank you for your prayers.

Jacob

 

[emily47017]

jacob, i’m totally envious of your wisdom and stability. i know you posted here in a state of confusion, but it seems to me your feet are firmly on the ground and you’re open to learning more. we should all be so “confused”.

the church does teach that homosexuality (the feeling, desire, identity) is disordered. it’s not sinful in and of itself, though indulgence in lustful fantasies or pornography is sinful for the gay person as well as the straight person. homosexual sex is a mortal sin, but so is heterosexual sex outside of marriage. you might be interested in this letter, “to the bishops of the catholic church on the pastoral care of homosexual persons”:

“The human person, made in the image and likeness of God, can hardly be adequately described by a reductionist reference to his or her sexual orientation. Every one living on the face of the earth has personal problems and difficulties, but challenges to growth, strengths, talents and gifts as well. Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person as a “heterosexual” or a “homosexual” and insists that every person has a fundamental Identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life.”

you may also be interested in this passionate debate about civil unions in new hampshire.

you said that you’re able to abstain from sex without difficulty, and that too is something of which i am TOTALLY ENVIOUS! i’ve identified as bi-sexual for all of my adult life, and have been pretty promiscuous with both men and women. as i’m turning away from my former life, i’m seeing that my sexual activity as a whole – not just the gay or straight, but the promiscuity, the kink, the multiple, casual or otherwise unhealthy relationships – has been damaging for me. it’s got a powerful momentum, and it isn’t at all easy for me to disengage.

blessings for you,
emily

 

[unloud]

you said that you're able to abstain from sex without difficulty, and that too is something of which i am TOTALLY ENVIOUS! i've identified as bi-sexual for all of my adult life, and have been pretty promiscuous with both men and women. as i'm turning away from my former life, i'm seeing that my sexual activity *as a whole* -- not just the gay or straight, but the promiscuity, the kink, the multiple, casual or otherwise unhealthy relationships -- has been damaging for me. it's got a powerful momentum, and it isn't at all easy for me to disengage.
blessings for you,
emily

Yeah, I think the harder thing for me is going to be not being able to hold someone I love and show them that. Not to mention, I’m very transparent when I like someone; I fear that I’m going to hurt others through this

Like I said earlier, I’m no more wise nor stable compared to others. I’m just looking for answers and guidance like the rest of us.

Jacob