I need a bit help (I'm a RCIA student)

[chasingcars]

Hi everyone!

I’ve attended RCIA since September and I’ve decided to become a Catholic. The RCIA will end in May and if everything goes as I’ve planned I’ll be taken into the Church then. Please pray for me.
I have some questions and struggles and I’d like to ask you to help me with them.

First of all, my atheist mother is very disappointed with me because of this. My two siblings are ok with this (=they don’t care) and my dad is a bit more understanding than mom but I can totally tell it that none of them is too excited about me joining the Church. I’m gonna do it anyway, of course. All advice how to deal with my family is welcome.

My dad was formerly Lutheran but not very religious, we attended church only when we had to (weddings, Christmas etc.). I was baptized in Lutheran church when I was a baby and I attended a confirmation camp four years ago but I’ve never really believed the Lutheran teachings or was active in the church. I think it’s safe to say that though I was a member of Lutheran church I still never was a Lutheran. I was a member of the church just because my parents wanted me to but I finally left the church on November when I turned 18 and could do it without parental consent. My mom was very angry to me when she heard about it but she has calmed down a bit in these past couple of months.

I live in a very secular country where about 75% of the population is Lutheran and the Catholic church has only about 12,000 members (and half of them are from somewhere else). The Lutheran church here is very liberal and most of the members are very secular. How on Earth can I find a good Catholic husband here? Do I have to go find someone from abroad?
The other thing is that I’ve noticed that being a Catholic isn’t always easy in today’s world. Does anyone have any tips how I could defend the Church’s teachings for example about abortion and porn? The other thing is that people think it’s really weird that a young woman from a very secular background in the 2010’s wants to convert to Catholicism and believes that for example abortion, contraception, premarital sex, porn, masturbation, surrogacy and IVF are wrong. Any teenage girls or young women and young converts please tell me about your experiences.

The Church’s teaching on abortion in cases of rape and incest is very hard for me. I fully agree that abortion is wrong in all cases no matter the circumstances because it’s a human being in the womb but it’s really hard when people ask me about it. I often just answer that it’s a terrible situation and I agree that pregnancy violates the victims rights and it’s wrong but killing human beings can never be ok. I actually think that’s a pretty good answer but I should improve it a bit.
I get really angry when I hear other pro-lifers say that “abortion doesn’t unrape a woman it just adds more violence to that violence” or “the child shouldn’t be punished for the crime of the father”. It’s like they’re saying rape-related pregnancy is okay (it’s not, it’s cruel violence) or the rape-victim deserves to be punished for being raped (no she doesn’t).
So my problem is not the Church’s teaching but the arguments the pro-life movement uses. If anyone has any thoughts about this please share them with me.

Thank you very much

 

[chasingcars]

I’d also like to ask about family planning. I don’t feel like staying at home for like 10-15 years is my thing at all because I want to work too (I’ve always wanted to become a teacher). I think I can handle “only” four or five, probably six children and I’d like to ask you that is that okay.
I think about five would be a good number of children for me. I could work outside home, I’d have time for each child and if I was left alone with the children I could still take care of them myself.
Are those good reasons to use nfp or should I give birth to ten children??

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Hi everyone!

I’ve attended RCIA since September and I’ve decided to become a Catholic. The RCIA will end in May and if everything goes as I’ve planned I’ll be taken into the Church then. Please pray for me.
I have some questions and struggles and I’d like to ask you to help me with them.

First of all, my atheist mother is very disappointed with me because of this. My two siblings are ok with this (=they don’t care) and my dad is a bit more understanding than mom but I can totally tell it that none of them is too excited about me joining the Church. I’m gonna do it anyway, of course. All advice how to deal with my family is welcome.

My dad was formerly Lutheran but not very religious, we attended church only when we had to (weddings, Christmas etc.). I was baptized in Lutheran church when I was a baby and I attended a confirmation camp four years ago but I’ve never really believed the Lutheran teachings or was active in the church. I think it’s safe to say that though I was a member of Lutheran church I still never was a Lutheran. I was a member of the church just because my parents wanted me to but I finally left the church on November when I turned 18 and could do it without parental consent. My mom was very angry to me when she heard about it but she has calmed down a bit in these past couple of months.

I live in a very secular country where about 75% of the population is Lutheran and the Catholic church has only about 12,000 members (and half of them are from somewhere else). The Lutheran church here is very liberal and most of the members are very secular. How on Earth can I find a good Catholic husband here? Do I have to go find someone from abroad?
The other thing is that I’ve noticed that being a Catholic isn’t always easy in today’s world. Does anyone have any tips how I could defend the Church’s teachings for example about abortion and porn? The other thing is that people think it’s really weird that a young woman from a very secular background in the 2010’s wants to convert to Catholicism and believes that for example abortion, contraception, premarital sex, porn, masturbation, surrogacy and IVF are wrong. Any teenage girls or young women and young converts please tell me about your experiences.

The Church’s teaching on abortion in cases of rape and incest is very hard for me. I fully agree that abortion is wrong in all cases no matter the circumstances because it’s a human being in the womb but it’s really hard when people ask me about it. I often just answer that it’s a terrible situation and I agree that pregnancy violates the victims rights and it’s wrong but killing human beings can never be ok. I actually think that’s a pretty good answer but I should improve it a bit.
I get really angry when I hear other pro-lifers say that “abortion doesn’t unrape a woman it just adds more violence to that violence” or “the child shouldn’t be punished for the crime of the father”. It’s like they’re saying rape-related pregnancy is okay (it’s not, it’s cruel violence) or the rape-victim deserves to be punished for being raped (no she doesn’t).
So my problem is not the Church’s teaching but the arguments the pro-life movement uses. If anyone has any thoughts about this please share them with me.

Thank you very much

Sounds like you live somewhere in Scandanavia or one of the Baltic countries. Your prospects of finding a like minded Catholic man are limited. But considering how tough it is there with such a small Catholic population, perhaps any Catholic man you do find will be pretty solid. You can also use Catholic dating sites. I think C.A. has an add for one. And you know what, you may find a really nice young Luthern gentleman too, why not. But whoever it is, be sure you are on the same wave length about the basic things.

On abortion in cases of rape and incest, etc. Point out to your friends that in past ages, births due to rape was common due to the military tactics of various armies. And it is still common today for the same reason. But the mothers usually wind up loving their children anyway. So while it is still far from ideal, it does not need to be viewed as a tragedy. And certainly it is no fault of the child.

Good luck.
Pax
Linus2nd

 

[CatholicRaven]

Lots of questions. I sorry that I don’t have enough time right now to go over them all, but will try to get back here in a few days and address them.

I did want to answer your question about children. I think you are putting the cart WAY ahead of the horse. You cannot know the future. You aren’t even married yet, and besides, you don’t need to have every detail of your life planned out (and life rarely follows the human being’s plan, anyway). Your feelings are likely to change a lot over time, as you get to know someone, once you’re married, maybe also after having a child, as the child gets older and you get older, etc. And you don’t know how your husband will feel at any given time, and what he can handle, either.

But to have a good marriage, remember that marriage is not all about what you want. Understand that marriage is really about GIVING of yourself to someone else. It’s not about ME, “my” plan, “my” happiness, what “I” want. It becomes about “us,” that is, you and your husband (and children, if any), and (ideally) about God’s Will. If God calls you to stay at home with the kids, He will give you the grace to do it. If God calls you to be a teacher and work outside the home, He will give you the grace to do it. And you may find that what you think you want today might change tomorrow, or ten years from now. If you’re seeking to do God’s Will, then finding a husband, getting married, having children… these things will not worry you as much, because you can trust in God.

Actually, that’s what living a Catholic life is about, really: seeking to do God’s Will, to follow where He leads us and trust Him, even when we think it’s not what we really want. It’s not always easy, I can tell you that!

You think you can handle 4 or 5 children. But really, you don’t know what you can handle. None of us really do. God does. He will give you the grace you need to handle what He gives you–whether that’s one child, or twenty, or whatever. Seek His Will, and things will work out better in the long run.

Will for you!

 

[eschator83]

As a male, perhaps my best hope to be helpful is suggesting a wonderful small book by a well-known Catholic writer, Timothy Drake, ‘There We Stood, Here We Stand,’ which consists of the stories of eleven Lutherans who converted to Catholicism, including both Mr Drake and his brother.
One of the conversion stories is by Jennifer Ferrara, who was a Lutheran pastor before her conversion. The title of her conversion story is “Real Churches Don’t Kill Babies,” and she describes her dismay in 1996 when the Church Council of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America voted to pay for abortions for its employees.
For about 5 years my wife and I alternately attended her Catholic parish and my protestant church. Apparently some Catholics recommended against her absences from the Catholic Masses, but she said I was worth it, and week by week I was drawn closer to Catholicism.
I think you’ll meet some wonderful men in the Catholic Church. I can’t imagine that your Mr Right won’t be a person who deeply believes in God, nor who won’t want to go to church with you.

 

[Joe_5859]

I think it’s great that you are heading towards the Catholic Church despite the adversity. We have to follow the Lord.

I agree with Catholic Raven that you are probably getting ahead of yourself with the marriage and family concerns. There is no need to come up with some pre-determined number (even before you are seriously dating let alone married). The Catholic Church does not require that we have as many babies as physically possible. Rather, the Church asks us to be open to life. And that won’t look the same for every family. My philosophy is to take it one child at a time.

In the abortion debate, I do not think it is necessary to address the “rape and incest” cases head on. They are difficult to respond to because there is understandably a lot of emotion attached to such scenarios. But it is generally a rhetorical smokescreen. Ask anyone who brings up such cases: “Okay, let’s grant for the sake of argument that abortion can be allowed in such cases; will you join with me in fighting against abortion in all other cases, 97% of which are done only for convenience?” The answer to that is generally “No.” People appeal to the hard cases because it makes it easier to sympathize with what is really a very unsympathetic reality (e.g. the killing of babies).

Sometimes things happen to us that are not our fault and against our will that have lasting consequences for us. My mom knows a woman who got hit by a guy on a bicycle while walking through the park and she now lives in excruciating pain every day of her life. Bad stuff happens. But that doesn’t give her the right to kill the biker. Sometimes all we can do is acknowledge that there is no perfect solution. But doing something evil is never the way to go.

 

[Lucretius]

Hi everyone!

I’ve attended RCIA since September and I’ve decided to become a Catholic. The RCIA will end in May and if everything goes as I’ve planned I’ll be taken into the Church then. Please pray for me.

Lord, we praise you for your Grace! For you have called by name chasingcars, and she, through the desire of her heart, is working to become one of our sisters in Christ. Lord, we ask you to watch over chasingcars, and if you will so, introduce to her a husband worthy of being with her, one who will love her, and walk with her physically, mentally, emotionally, and the most important of all, spiritually.

Lord, you know how difficult it is to dwell in a place that rejects you. Please, we pray, help chasingcars live and become a Saint, even though she lives in a place that is hostile to Your ideals.

Please bless chasingcars with knowledge and humility, so that she may understand how you made the body, and how it is to be used reverently.

We ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.

I have some questions and struggles and I’d like to ask you to help me with them.

First of all, my atheist mother is very disappointed with me because of this. My two siblings are ok with this (=they don’t care) and my dad is a bit more understanding than mom but I can totally tell it that none of them is too excited about me joining the Church. I’m gonna do it anyway, of course. All advice how to deal with my family is welcome.

My dad was formerly Lutheran but not very religious, we attended church only when we had to (weddings, Christmas etc.). I was baptized in Lutheran church when I was a baby and I attended a confirmation camp four years ago but I’ve never really believed the Lutheran teachings or was active in the church. I think it’s safe to say that though I was a member of Lutheran church I still never was a Lutheran. I was a member of the church just because my parents wanted me to but I finally left the church on November when I turned 18 and could do it without parental consent. My mom was very angry to me when she heard about it but she has calmed down a bit in these past couple of months.

I live in a very secular country where about 75% of the population is Lutheran and the Catholic church has only about 12,000 members (and half of them are from somewhere else). The Lutheran church here is very liberal and most of the members are very secular.

Many people, especially in Protestant countries, have been taught negative things about the Church. It’s not their fault, it’s just how history turned out. You might want to ask them politely and charitably what some of their concerns are. You can then show them all the positives of Church teachings. Tell them that the Church is the biggest charity in the world, for example. I don’t know your age, but since I think you are probably a young woman, they might be concerned that you are still too immature in making such a decision. They might even be afraid you’ll become (wait for it)… a nun :bigyikes:

How on Earth can I find a good Catholic husband here? Do I have to go find someone from abroad?

There are dating websites. You can also visit different parishes at different times for Mass during the week, and see if you might find a handsome young Catholic lad If you find that there are young Catholics (both boys and girls) in you’re area, you can start a Young Catholic Newman Club! You could even search for those non-devote, cultural Catholics and invite them, which might strengthen their faith, and yours! One of them might even be “the One”

The other thing is that I’ve noticed that being a Catholic isn’t always easy in today’s world. Does anyone have any tips how I could defend the Church’s teachings for example about abortion and porn?

Well, you can point out how pornography treats women as pleasure toys, to be used until they’re boring, and then tossed in the garbage. It also perverts a young man’s idea of lovemaking, turning a Sacrament and self giving, intimate act into a selfish, “I’ll abstract as much sick pleasure at this girl’s expense” experience. Instead of going out and being a man, searching for a wife, learning a new language, or inventing the next big thing, these boys sit there wasting their seed in a lonely, sad, selfish, and FAKE ritual. Many boys become addicted and when they marry, they end up ignoring their wife, since she just “not as good” as the harlot on the computer screen. He might even try to force his wife to engage in some perverted act they saw on the Internet (again, no respect for women). What’s just sad is that many addicted to pornography are actually very lonely, but because they waste their time on the computer, they don’t get out and actually GET a girlfriend. They might have emotional problems as well, since masturbation does give you a good high, as well as drowns out those “pesky” emotions, so you don’t have to deal with them.

I don’t even want to talk about the poor porn-“stars”, with their family, drug, alcohol, emotional, and mental problems

The biggest rules to remember when discussing sexual morality with non-Catholics is that:

1. you are trying to show that they are not just random rules, but based in a coherent worldview, and that:
2. you will not get people to change their minds unless they change their worldview, in this matter. In other words, you can’t tell them what Christ asks of us, and then expect them to follow. No, you must show them Christ’s Love, and why His way of looking at the world is the best one. Then, they might be willing to follow His commands. Remember, the whole New Testament is based on the idea that Charity is above Law (not that the Law should be abandoned: just that Love is the most important).

continued…

 

[Lucretius]

The other thing is that people think it’s really weird that a young woman from a very secular background in the 2010’s wants to convert to Catholicism and believes that for example abortion, contraception, premarital sex, porn, masturbation, surrogacy and IVF are wrong. Any teenage girls or young women and young converts please tell me about your experiences.

You might be weird, but it’s a good weird, I promise Can I ask, what are some of the reasons that make you wish to convert? BTW, I can’t help you on this one, since I’m not a young woman, but a young man,

The Church’s teaching on abortion in cases of rape and incest is very hard for me. I fully agree that abortion is wrong in all cases no matter the circumstances because it’s a human being in the womb but it’s really hard when people ask me about it. I often just answer that it’s a terrible situation and I agree that pregnancy violates the victims rights and it’s wrong but killing human beings can never be ok. I actually think that’s a pretty good answer but I should improve it a bit.
I get really angry when I hear other pro-lifers say that “abortion doesn’t unrape a woman it just adds more violence to that violence” or “the child shouldn’t be punished for the crime of the father”. It’s like they’re saying rape-related pregnancy is okay (it’s not, it’s cruel violence) or the rape-victim deserves to be punished for being raped (no she doesn’t).
So my problem is not the Church’s teaching but the arguments the pro-life movement uses. If anyone has any thoughts about this please share them with me.

I would just say that the Church takes a holistic, universal view on such matters (“catholic” comes from the Greek word for “universal”). Instead of focusing on the woman, at the expense of the child, which ends up treating the child like medical waste , or focusing on the child, at the expense of the woman, which ends up treating the woman as collateral damage , the church decides to focus on BOTH. We should sympathize, help, and love the rape victim as we as Christians are called to, but should also love the child, recognize that the child is a person, and help him/her as well, especially since life is probably going to be hard for the child outside the womb as well. Most of all, the Church asks us to PRAY for both these people

The Saints teach that the fastest and the best way to become Holy is to learn humility and obedience. It is a great act of humility and faith to obey Church teaching (which has 2000 years of experience, as well as the Holy Spirit to guide Her), especially when you have trouble understanding it.

I was told by a priest once that contraception, abortion, papal infallibility, etc. are not the most difficult Church teachings, rather, it is “forgive those who hurt you.” We always think that “forgiveness” is a good thing. Even the secularists agree! But when you find out that, say, your young daughter was molested and killed by some stranger, suddenly “forgive your enemies” becomes a very difficult teaching indeed.

Thank you very much

I pray that I am of some service to you.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[chasingcars]

Linusthe2nd: You’re right, I live in Finland. I’m thinking about moving abroad in the future (I don’t know exactly where yet, but other Nordic countries and Germany are my options) and finding a Catholic husband in for example Germany would be quite easy compared to finding one in Finland. Thanks for the advide, I’ll give dating sites a try

CatholicRaven: Yeah, I think I should wait a couple of years before I start to look for a potential husband. I don’t really feel like I’m ready for that kind of stuff yet because marriage is a very big thing and I’m still young. Maybe I should focus on other things in life right now (becoming Catholic, growing in my faith, getting an education etc.). “Seek His Will, and things will work out better in the long run” thank you, that’s very well said and I’ll keep that in my mind.

eschator83: I’m going to read that book if I can find it somewhere. Thank you for your encouraging words

Joe 5859: Yes, I know pro-choicers use rape and incest as a smoke screen to take the attention from the rest of the abortions. It’s pretty annoying. Thank you for your advice how to debate about this hard issue.

Lucretius: There’s really only one reason why I want to convert: I fully believe that the Catholic Church was found by Jesus Christ and it’s the true Church and God wants me to become a member of it. Btw, I’m glad you asked me that because before I can be taken into the Church I’m gonna have to talk with a priest and he said he will ask me why I want to become a Catholic. I’ll give him that answer, I hope it’ll be good enough
How old are you? I’m 18.
I agree that forgiving others and myself is very hard thing to do.

THANK YOU ALL <3

 

[blueshells]

Hi everyone!

I’ve attended RCIA since September and I’ve decided to become a Catholic. The RCIA will end in May and if everything goes as I’ve planned I’ll be taken into the Church then. Please pray for me.
I have some questions and struggles and I’d like to ask you to help me with them.

First of all, my atheist mother is very disappointed with me because of this. My two siblings are ok with this (=they don’t care) and my dad is a bit more understanding than mom but I can totally tell it that none of them is too excited about me joining the Church. I’m gonna do it anyway, of course. All advice how to deal with my family is welcome.

My dad was formerly Lutheran but not very religious, we attended church only when we had to (weddings, Christmas etc.). I was baptized in Lutheran church when I was a baby and I attended a confirmation camp four years ago but I’ve never really believed the Lutheran teachings or was active in the church. I think it’s safe to say that though I was a member of Lutheran church I still never was a Lutheran. I was a member of the church just because my parents wanted me to but I finally left the church on November when I turned 18 and could do it without parental consent. My mom was very angry to me when she heard about it but she has calmed down a bit in these past couple of months.

I live in a very secular country where about 75% of the population is Lutheran and the Catholic church has only about 12,000 members (and half of them are from somewhere else). The Lutheran church here is very liberal and most of the members are very secular. How on Earth can I find a good Catholic husband here? Do I have to go find someone from abroad?
The other thing is that I’ve noticed that being a Catholic isn’t always easy in today’s world. Does anyone have any tips how I could defend the Church’s teachings for example about abortion and porn? The other thing is that people think it’s really weird that a young woman from a very secular background in the 2010’s wants to convert to Catholicism and believes that for example abortion, contraception, premarital sex, porn, masturbation, surrogacy and IVF are wrong. Any teenage girls or young women and young converts please tell me about your experiences.

The Church’s teaching on abortion in cases of rape and incest is very hard for me. I fully agree that abortion is wrong in all cases no matter the circumstances because it’s a human being in the womb but it’s really hard when people ask me about it. I often just answer that it’s a terrible situation and I agree that pregnancy violates the victims rights and it’s wrong but killing human beings can never be ok. I actually think that’s a pretty good answer but I should improve it a bit.
I get really angry when I hear other pro-lifers say that “abortion doesn’t unrape a woman it just adds more violence to that violence” or “the child shouldn’t be punished for the crime of the father”. It’s like they’re saying rape-related pregnancy is okay (it’s not, it’s cruel violence) or the rape-victim deserves to be punished for being raped (no she doesn’t).
So my problem is not the Church’s teaching but the arguments the pro-life movement uses. If anyone has any thoughts about this please share them with me.

Thank you very much

Hi chasingcars,

Praise God for your call to the Church! I converted three years ago.

Having a family be unsupportive of your conversion to the Church is a special cross to carry. My mother is actively hostile to my faith and the Church, and has been since before I converted. Pray for them a lot, recognize the truth of your call, and unite yourself to the Cross in prayer. I’d also recommend looking up the stories of Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati and Elisabeth Leseur, Servant of God. Both of them dealt with families who were opposed to the Church and have been really good sources of inspiration for me.

And yes, I’ve also had the experience that it’s weird for a young woman in this day and age to convert to Catholicism. But God’s also bringing a lot of good out of it: friends have started exploring it to find out why I’d choose such a thing, or at least are perturbed by it in a good way. My mother has deepened her own faith to try and argue with me. And other Catholics whose faith has become somewhat stale will ask me what I find in it and try and look for those same things. Weird is good in this case.

You have plenty of time to find a husband. As another poster said, pursue God and all else will fall into place.

Another poster has a much better argument against porn than I could compose. For abortion (and euthanasia/death with dignity), this is an argument that has at least given pause to a lot of people I’ve talked to and led to a much more rational discussion. Life is a basic good; that is, it is a good in and of itself. As long as it exists, it is good. Abortion and euthanasia turn it into an instrumental good towards pleasure. Pleasure becomes the be-all and end-all, and if life is not pleasurable due to a pregnancy (either the life of the mother or the future life of the child), it becomes appropriate to end that life. If that is the case, suicide, abortion, euthanasia, and even some murder become appropriate. If pleasure becomes THE intrinsic good to which everything is oriented, morality falls apart.

I hope this helps! Please PM me if you need to. I’ll be praying for you!

~blue

 

[3DOCTORS]

On abortion in cases of rape and incest, etc. Point out to your friends that in past ages, births due to rape was common due to the military tactics of various armies. And it is still common today for the same reason. But the mothers usually wind up loving their children anyway. So while it is still far from ideal, it does not need to be viewed as a tragedy. And certainly it is no fault of the child.

Good luck.
Pax
Linus2nd

I’m hoping that this is a line of thought that just was not well thought out. Otherwise it comes across as less than sensitive to the victims of wartime rape, and seems to minimize the emotional damage done. I can’t understand why it would be seen as a persuasive pro-life argument.

To the OP - if I can be of any help please feel free to contact me. You’ll meet challenges along the path. It sounds like you’ve handled several already, and it’s good that you’re “troubleshooting” and preparing for the times when you’ll be opposed. Pray often, and talk to a priest so you can have someone who knows what stage of the journey you’re on and where you will need to go next.

 

[Lucretius]

Lucretius: There’s really only one reason why I want to convert: I fully believe that the Catholic Church was found by Jesus Christ and it’s the true Church and God wants me to become a member of it. Btw, I’m glad you asked me that because before I can be taken into the Church I’m gonna have to talk with a priest and he said he will ask me why I want to become a Catholic. I’ll give him that answer, I hope it’ll be good enough
How old are you? I’m 18.
I agree that forgiving others and myself is very hard thing to do.

THANK YOU ALL <3

You answer to “Why do you want to be Catholic?” reminds me on how Chesterton answers in his essay “Why I am a Catholic” (chesterton.org/why-i-am-a-catholic/):

The difficulty of explaining “why I am a Catholic” is that there are ten thousand reasons all amounting to one reason: that Catholicism is true.

To give more advise to someone who also lives in a non-Catholic culture (is there such a thing as a true “Catholic culture” at any time or place in history?), you need to find friends who are fairly serious about being Catholic (preferably your age ). A couple years ago, I participated in a candle light vigil in a very windy storm. I noticed that when someone’s candle went out, another person would use his/her flame to re-light that someone’s. Also, the crowd helped buffer the wind, protecting the candles. Eventually I realized the metaphor in this event:

Our faith has a tendency to waver, especially when we notice how everyone around us goes against it. We wonder “what’s the point? Everyone around me is having fun in sinning. Why can’t I just give up, just give in?” We might end up losing our faith in the world, just as our candle might go out in the storm. But if you have friends in Christ, friends with faith, they might be able to help you regain your lost faith, just as they might use their candle to re-light yours. Also, you might be the one to help them regain their faith, you might help them re-light theirs. The more Catholics around you, the harder it is to lose faith, like how the more people together, the hard it is for everyone’s candles to go out. Remember, many Saints were friends with each other (St. Thomas and St. Bonaventure (they DIED on the same year! At the same place!), St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila, St. Ignatius Loyola and St. Francis Xavier, etc.).

Oh, and I’m a 20 year old young man.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Hi everyone!

I’ve attended RCIA since September and I’ve decided to become a Catholic. The RCIA will end in May and if everything goes as I’ve planned I’ll be taken into the Church then. Please pray for me.
I have some questions and struggles and I’d like to ask you to help me with them.

First of all, my atheist mother is very disappointed with me because of this. My two siblings are ok with this (=they don’t care) and my dad is a bit more understanding than mom but I can totally tell it that none of them is too excited about me joining the Church. I’m gonna do it anyway, of course. All advice how to deal with my family is welcome.

My dad was formerly Lutheran but not very religious, we attended church only when we had to (weddings, Christmas etc.). I was baptized in Lutheran church when I was a baby and I attended a confirmation camp four years ago but I’ve never really believed the Lutheran teachings or was active in the church. I think it’s safe to say that though I was a member of Lutheran church I still never was a Lutheran. I was a member of the church just because my parents wanted me to but I finally left the church on November when I turned 18 and could do it without parental consent. My mom was very angry to me when she heard about it but she has calmed down a bit in these past couple of months.

I live in a very secular country where about 75% of the population is Lutheran and the Catholic church has only about 12,000 members (and half of them are from somewhere else). The Lutheran church here is very liberal and most of the members are very secular. How on Earth can I find a good Catholic husband here? Do I have to go find someone from abroad?
The other thing is that I’ve noticed that being a Catholic isn’t always easy in today’s world. Does anyone have any tips how I could defend the Church’s teachings for example about abortion and porn? The other thing is that people think it’s really weird that a young woman from a very secular background in the 2010’s wants to convert to Catholicism and believes that for example abortion, contraception, premarital sex, porn, masturbation, surrogacy and IVF are wrong. Any teenage girls or young women and young converts please tell me about your experiences.

The Church’s teaching on abortion in cases of rape and incest is very hard for me. I fully agree that abortion is wrong in all cases no matter the circumstances because it’s a human being in the womb but it’s really hard when people ask me about it. I often just answer that it’s a terrible situation and I agree that pregnancy violates the victims rights and it’s wrong but killing human beings can never be ok. I actually think that’s a pretty good answer but I should improve it a bit.
I get really angry when I hear other pro-lifers say that “abortion doesn’t unrape a woman it just adds more violence to that violence” or “the child shouldn’t be punished for the crime of the father”. It’s like they’re saying rape-related pregnancy is okay (it’s not, it’s cruel violence) or the rape-victim deserves to be punished for being raped (no she doesn’t).
So my problem is not the Church’s teaching but the arguments the pro-life movement uses. If anyone has any thoughts about this please share them with me.

Thank you very much

Thought I lost you, system wasn’t working very well this morning. Any way, don’t give up. Perhaps you could start a Catholic singles club where you live? And why couldn’t their be a good, upstanding Lutheran gentleman some where where you live? But I would stay away from atheists, agnostics, divorcees, since you have two strikes against you there. You only other options would seem to be go where there are more Catholics, but where would that be? Certainly are a great number in the Philippines and in South America, even in the U.S. and Canada. The Church is still alive in Canada and Ireland ( in spite of what you hear ). Next best is a Catholic dating site, here is one associated with Catholic Answers, prweb.com/releases/2014/10/prweb12233375.htm. Maybe if you start praying for the right man and promise God to have all the children he sends you, your man will show up .

On abortion in cases of rape and incest and other hard cases, just remember that a great many of the world’s children are conceived as a result of rape each year. There exists cultures today where women have no choice but to submit to a man at very young ages, they do have children and lots of them and they love their children - though I wonder if they could ever love their " husbands. " Also in ages past it was a military tactic to steal the women of the enemy and take them as wives and mistresses. This was going on at least until the beginning of the 20th century. It would be much better if the whole world were good Catholics wouldn’t it. Well it starts with you and me and every Catholic you meet. We have to walk the walk and talk the talk or we are just wasting our time.

Pax
Linus2nd

Pax
LInus2nd

 

[3DOCTORS]

On abortion in cases of rape and incest and other hard cases, just remember that a great many of the world’s children are conceived as a result of rape each year. There exists cultures today where women have no choice but to submit to a man at very young ages, they do have children and lots of them and they love their children - though I wonder if they could ever love their " husbands. " Also in ages past it was a military tactic to steal the women of the enemy and take them as wives and mistresses. This was going on at least until the beginning of the 20th century. It would be much better if the whole world were good Catholics wouldn’t it. Well it starts with you and me and every Catholic you meet. We have to walk the walk and talk the talk or we are just wasting our time.

Pax
Linus2nd

Pax
LInus2nd

I realize I’m in danger of derailing the thread, but I can’t let this pass - it really comes across as minimizing the exploitation of women. I have to urge you to examine your thinking on it from a woman’s perspective rather than a man’s. And again, it doesn’t hold any weight as a pro-life argument, because in all likelihood most of those women who were victimized didn’t have a choice whether to abort or carry the child. Not saying the choice to abort would have been good, but what I’m saying is that they probably just had to **conceal and internalize their trauma and put on a good show. **Please try to put yourself in women’s shoes and be more sensitive in matters such as this. It’s in the interest of charity that I bring this up, I’m not trying to attack you, merely to point out a matter that needs to be considered from more angles than your post is showing you’re looking at it from. There are lots of horrible abuses in the world, and proportionally more against women and children. An approach of “all’s well that ends well” (or appears to end well) is a very weak way of not looking below the surface and practically letting perpetrators off the hook in such cases. Again, I acknowledge that may not have been your intent, but it’s how it comes across.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

I realize I’m in danger of derailing the thread, but I can’t let this pass - it really comes across as minimizing the exploitation of women. I have to urge you to examine your thinking on it from a woman’s perspective rather than a man’s. And again, it doesn’t hold any weight as a pro-life argument, because in all likelihood most of those women who were victimized didn’t have a choice whether to abort or carry the child. Not saying the choice to abort would have been good, but what I’m saying is that they probably just had to **conceal and internalize their trauma and put on a good show. **Please try to put yourself in women’s shoes and be more sensitive in matters such as this. It’s in the interest of charity that I bring this up, I’m not trying to attack you, merely to point out a matter that needs to be considered from more angles than your post is showing you’re looking at it from. There are lots of horrible abuses in the world, and proportionally more against women and children. An approach of “all’s well that ends well” (or appears to end well) is a very weak way of not looking below the surface and practically letting perpetrators off the hook in such cases. Again, I acknowledge that may not have been your intent, but it’s how it comes across.

The point I am making is that, in spite of the horrible circumstances, these women loved their children. So that removes one of the factors given in favor of an abortion in these cases. Another is that it is not the child’s fault, so why should the child be terminated? These are difficult cases, there is no way to sugar coat them that I can see. What would you say instead?

Linus2nd

 

[3DOCTORS]

The point I am making is that, in spite of the horrible circumstances, these women loved their children. So that removes one of the factors given in favor of an abortion in these cases. Another is that it is not the child’s fault, so why should the child be terminated? These are difficult cases, there is no way to sugar coat them that I can see. What would you say instead?

Linus2nd

I guess for starters I wouldn’t use it as an example of a pro-life argument in the context of helping the OP respond to the current culture’s anti-life climate. It’s true that all the war and conquest, rape and pillage, etc. have happened, but those things are evils that never should have happened. Another thing is that we have no way of really knowing that it’s even true that those women all loved those children as you state. I expect the truth is more complex and varied, and in any case will remain forever hidden. Those mothers are either deceased if you’re referring to over the centuries, or if they’re our contemporaries, they may not feel like rehashing their victimization.

I think there are better resources for the “hard cases” available from pro-life organizations these days who handle the matter with great sensitivity and compassion, and that these would be the best resource to address the OP’s concerns.

 

[HelpingStranger]

Hey! I’m a new catholic, I was baptised at the Great Easter Vigil. My family wasn’t the most supportive of me joining the church but I did it anyway and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

 

[Lucretius]

Hey! I’m a new catholic, I was baptised at the Great Easter Vigil. My family wasn’t the most supportive of me joining the church but I did it anyway and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Welcome Home!

Christi pax,

Lucretius