I need a parents help

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MWashamx3

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Okay, so right now I am 15 but will be 16 in like 2 days… anyways, I recently moved back in with my mom (long story that is rather insignificant to the point) and I came from my aunt’s house, who took me to church on every holy day as well as Sundays. In a sense, I was converted back to my faith after having neglected it for years due to my ignorance of it. My mom hasn’t ever really been big on teaching me a lot about my faith, but when I bring it up we can have a conversation about it and it seems like she really wants to embrace it but has a hard time doing so. Another thing is that where we live, there aren’t a whole lot of traditional churches and the closest one is an hour away and only does mass every other Sunday, and well she never takes me. I worry a lot about going because sometimes I can feel myself slipping back into old habits. So, prayers would be greatly appreciated. Besides this, I wanted to ask you about your viewpoint on teen relationships. Now, I have read plenty of teen books about it and I understand that you date/form friendships with the opposite sex to find a partner for marriage and the relationship should be chaste. I embrace that with every fiber of my being, but I know my mom doesn’t trust me… So, just recently I met, who is my very close friend and we have a healthy relationship, online while playing a virtual horse game. It was completely unintentional, and I assure you that I am not doing anything sinful. He lives in New Zealand, where I am going to attend college might I add, and I live in the U.S. He recently told me that he has a bad health condition and basically that he is dying, and of course I am praying for him. I’ve grown very fond of him and sometimes I think that God has brought us together for a reason, maybe so that I can pray for him, and it could one day in the future that we could form a relationship while I am going to college. I know nothing is for certain because we cannot say what God’s will is, but my whole point is that I want to tell my mom about him, but I"m a bit nervous about it. How would you react if your child told you this? And how should I go about doing it… I don’t like keeping things secret, and I feel like I met him for a reason, whatever that may be. I’m just scared she will say ‘I don’t want you talking to him anymore’. And once again, I assure you that this is a completely innocent, friendly relationship. The last thing I would want to do is form a sinful relationship with someone over the internet… So advice please? Thank you:)
 
Oh dear, sorry if that didn’t make much sense… I’m not much of a writer:p
 
How old is the Kiwi man you have feelings for? Other than that, if he is terminally ill and will soon be in heaven it is a big gamble to fall for someone and have to start over again at a young age. You are 15 years old and have several years before you will go to New Zealand. A lot will change in 2 years and I wouldnt be making these kind of plans right now since you should not be tied down to someone in a foreign country at a young age. I would detach yourself from him so you dont fall for him and become heartbroken when he dies. If he is older than 18 then you are putting him in possible legal trouble if something in the relationship goes wrong.
 
It’s okay to tell your mom about your friends online. I’m pretty sure that she’ll realize that you like the guy; and I’m pretty sure that when she finds out he lives in New Zealand, that she won’t feel too worried about it. 🙂

You might want to ask around and see if there are any other Catholics living in your neighborhood, and see if you can get a ride with them and permission from your mom. If you can’t get there, make a spiritual communion. Watching Mass broadcasts on TV or the computer can help you keep connected in your heart. I’m sure you know about SQPN and Catholic Answers podcasts, and all of that… You can even listen to Mass or prayers from Vatican Radio on your computer.
 
Mintaka said:
It’s okay to tell your mom about your friends online. I’m pretty sure that she’ll realize that you like the guy; and I’m pretty sure that when she finds out he lives in New Zealand, that she won’t feel too worried about it. 🙂

You might want to ask around and see if there are any other Catholics living in your neighborhood, and see if you can get a ride with them and permission from your mom. If you can’t get there, make a spiritual communion. Watching Mass broadcasts on TV or the computer can help you keep connected in your heart. I’m sure you know about SQPN and Catholic Answers podcasts, and all of that… You can even listen to Mass or prayers from Vatican Radio on your computer.
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I will have to disagree. It isnt a good thing to get attached to someone who lives so far away especially since it could be 2 or more years until they see each other. This guy may not feel the same way she does. Unless he has feelings for her (and assuming he isnt over the age of 18), it can be a destructive thing as she can avoid making relationships closer to her in order to hold out for the man in New Zealand. I would be very cautious with any relationships at age 15 and I would not encourage online relationship because they do take away from meeting people your own age. The time difference alone makes such a relationship at age 15 very tricky. I do not discourage friendships but if she is developing feelings and planning for a future relationship I would become as detached as possible since these relationships rarely work out. This man might not survive the next two years if he has a terminal disease.
 
As the mother of a 15- and a 16-year-old who both “meet” people playing online games, I would remind you that the internet really is an anonymous community. This really nice, ailing, young fellow from NZ could just as easily be a 43-year-old predator from Cleveland, Ohio, or a grandmother in Germany. I would remind you of internet safety rules like never tell anyone what city you live in, how old you are, etc. I would suggest that you make friends with lots of different people, because that will help you to narrow down what character traits are important to you.

Then I would probably find a way to make sure you are following my rules by making sure the computer is where I can keep an eye in your games or by installing software to let me know what you’ve been up to and who has been contacting you. As a matter of fact, all of my kids, right through the 16yo, have their email automatically forwarded to me. I don’t necessarily read all of their email, but I do keep an eye on who they’re talking with and what they’re talking about.

I wouldn’t tell my kids to stop talking to a particular person unless something specific happened to make me distrust the other individual.

Like the others have said, getting too attached at a young age is not good for your heart, therefore it is not good for your mother (whose heart breaks whenever her child is in distress).
 
I agree with some of the advice that you have been given. Unfortunately it is rather common for people to pretend to be someone that they are not on the internet. My 18 year old daughter has had a few friends be taken in by people who are not who they say that they are. Plus the danger of failing to develop real life relationships in your every day life because you are channeling all of your time and emotional energy into the online relationship is very real. You are at an age where this is an especially dangerous thing to do.

Please, limit the amount of time you devote to this young man, and get out and get involved in positive ways with your family, your school, your community, and of course your church.
 
adults are in danger in forming on-line relationships, teens are in deadly peril in so doing. You are a minor and under your mother’s authority so you obey her in all things that are not sinful. You should not be playing any on line game that allows someone out there to access your personal information and contact you in a personal way. If I was your mother I already would have the FBI looking into this so-called on line game if I thought my minor child was being targeted. I may be a spooked mom because I have raised 4 teenagers, plus a couble of sibs and fosters. I also would have installed blocks and filters on your computer the day you came back into the house and would have been monitoring your on line contacts continually.
 
yes my mom does monitor my sites i go on and she has the passwords to my email etc. so it’s not like she doesn’t know what i am doing. I never give out personal information and no he’s not over 18. i’m trying to delete this post right now, well i’m trying to get a moderator to, so please just disregard it.
 
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