I need Advice

[ceceswa]

My husband and I have been married for six years. After the third day of marriage he didn’t want to be intimate with me. He has used various excuses over the past six years. After about four months of marriage I started suspecting him of having an affair. As far as I know he hasn’t, but he does look at porn regularly and takes care of himself. After two years of counceling( that only I attended) he told me that he couldn’t take me not trusting him any more, he said that he was not in love with me and if it weren’t for our daughter and our unborn son (I was 7 months pregnant at the time) he wouldn’t be with me. I have been on anti-depressants for 5 months now. I havn’t been really happy for over six years. I am Catholic, so the decision to leave is an extremely difficult one, but I don’t want my children to grow up believing that this behavior is acceptable. My daughter, who is 3, already says “did daddy make you cry again mommy?” What do I do?

 

[puzzleannie]

get marriage counselling, get the advice of your pastor and referral to the diocesan marriage tribunal, and get a lawyer. It is impossible to judge individual situations on a forum like this, you need the help of experts to protect yourself and your children. If this were a hypothetical case, there would be grounds to investigate if this man was capable and had the intention to contract a valid marriage, but there is no way one could judge without getting the whole story, so pointless to discuss here. Get the help you need, and we will be praying for you.

there are a ton of threads discussing the problem of pornography and the damage it does to a marriage, but there is no doubt that a person who enters marriage with a pornography/masturbation habit has been and will continue to be unfaithful to his wife. he doesn’t need a girlfriend (or boyfriend), he has himself, and puts his own physical pleasure above every other priority, including his marriage vows, his wife’s happiness, and his own spiritual and psychological health. Such a person is imprisoned in an immature stage of development and desperately needs professional and pastoral counselling and treatment to function as a normal adult.

 

[anne1234]

**I’m so sorry ceceswa.
I don’t have any advice, but my thoughts are with you.

**

 

[felra]

puzzleannie:

get marriage counselling, get the advice of your pastor and referral to the diocesan marriage tribunal, and get a lawyer. It is impossible to judge individual situations on a forum like this, you need the help of experts to protect yourself and your children. If this were a hypothetical case, there would be grounds to investigate if this man was capable and had the intention to contract a valid marriage, but there is no way one could judge without getting the whole story, so pointless to discuss here. Get the help you need, and we will be praying for you.

there are a ton of threads discussing the problem of pornography and the damage it does to a marriage, but there is no doubt that a person who enters marriage with a pornography/masturbation habit has been and will continue to be unfaithful to his wife. he doesn’t need a girlfriend (or boyfriend), he has himself, and puts his own physical pleasure above every other priority, including his marriage vows, his wife’s happiness, and his own spiritual and psychological health. Such a person is imprisoned in an immature stage of development and desperately needs professional and pastoral counselling and treatment to function as a normal adult.

I second this post.

 

[Topher]

If your husband was addicted to pronography before you got married, then it is possible that your marriage is invalid and that is grounds for an enulment.