I need advice

  • Thread starter Thread starter ineedofmercy
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I

ineedofmercy

Guest
I’m struggling with porn like most others and its probably the worst thing to ever happen to me
I over think things now and think that everytime I screw my life is basically going to go all wrong

I want to go confession and stop receiving communion until I’m ready but I’m in a situation no one seems to understand (even in older posts)
Sometimes I do good like 10 days
But others its like once everyday or two which makes me very depressed

My situation is that
One.I’m addicted (I don’t even like it that much its just like something that’s hard to stop doing)
Two. I’m afraid to ask my parents to take me confession,ask to see a priest, mention my problem to family,ect and no one can usually understand how scared of those situations I am it’s really something I almost can’t make myself do and I have to dropped into it
Three. I have no real life friend that will understand or I feel like telling (not even my twin brother)
Four. My brain and heart are conflicted sometimes I can use my brain to put what God is doing (even pain) together but my heart just gets angry and sad and feels hated by both sides

I’ve tried many things to stop and some work but its hard to stay on track
I wish this would just go away because its my main vice and it makes my think my life is pointless

I reading the bible now but still fell twice today
I have a mountain of sins from porn,masturbation, and receiving the Eucharist unworthily(out of fear of what people will do) and its hard to have hope when you know that won’t just disappear until confession and mercy Sunday

Basically I feel like I can’t do this right even when I pray I stop and think if I did that all wrong
This may be the devil in my head but I really wish life wasn’t like this
When I was kid all that mattered was being happy with your friends and praying to say thank you now I’m 15 and life looks up sometimes down most times
 
Avoid all near occasions of sin that will tempt.
Don’t be afraid to ask family or friends to take you to Confession. You don’t have to tell them why you want to go.
Ask the priest for advice.
Ask the Blessed Mother to help you stay pure.
Do not receive Communion unworthily and be sure to confess that.
Keep busy with interesting activities.
I will pray for you. God bless you.
 
Hi ineedofmercy,
Don’t be afraid to talk to your pastor. Our priest has mentioned several times during homilies the challenge porn is posing for members of his flock. It is a real scourge in our society.
Your priest is likely very well aware of how pervasive this problem is for those in his care and wants to help you. Regular confession will help you access grace which will help you in your struggle.
To help lessen your self-consciousness about standing out for not taking communion, you might want to walk up with your family or friends, bow in reverence ((your priest may offer you a blessin) and then return to your seat. there may be others at your church who are also looking for ways to gracefully deal with this issue.
a friend of mine who was in a second marriage (no annulment) and could not partake of the Eucharist, would sit in the back with her husband where not processing was less noticable, sitting at the end our your family pew will also put you in the back of the family line.
Keep on praying and working on things, one day at a time, and know that many saints shared your challenge and still eventually became saints.
May God bless you.
jt
P.S. I wonder if some exercise might also be of help?
 
It’s difficult to overcome this on your own. Internet advice won’t help much either. The best thing (most effective) might be to get counseling. Ask the priests you know if they could recommend a good counselor or therapist who can help you in a way that is in line with the Catholic faith.

You will do well to attack these problems at an early age. It is harder when you’ve gone down the wrong path for many years.

I’m praying for you! This is paraphrased from Psalm 51:
Have mercy on me, God, in accord with your merciful love;
in your abundant compassion blot out my transgressions.
Thoroughly wash away my guilt;
and from my sin cleanse me.

Turn away your face from my sins;
blot out all my iniquities.
**A clean heart create for me, God;
renew within me a steadfast spirit.
**
Do not drive me from before your face,
nor take from me your holy spirit.
Restore to me the gladness of your salvation;
uphold me with a willing spirit.

Rescue me, my saving God,
and my tongue will sing joyfully of your justice.
Lord, you will open my lips;
and my mouth will proclaim your praise.

For you do not desire [ritual] sacrifice or I would give it;
a burnt offering you would not accept.
My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit;
a contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not scorn.
 
Have you ever heard of Matt Fradd? Look him up, his books may help. God bless! St. Maria Goretti, pray for us!
 
The Holy Rosary is very good, as well as mortifications, like fasting (or not eating in between meals, or eating non sugary foods, talking much less, ect.)

Keep us in your prayers as well, that we may lead the pure life you are desiring to obtain.
 
ineedofmercy,

I am grateful for your humility for posting your problem and having the desire to be free of this terrible sin.

Basically, being in the state of grace is a huge defense against the enemy. Go to confession as often as you can when you fall and continue to receive the Eucharist in the state of grace, daily Mass if possible. Spend time in prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament too, this is very helpful. Jesus will greatly strengthen you by these means.

As mentioned above from another member, pray the Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet when you can; the St. Michael prayer is powerful too. Also, I highly recommend wearing a blessed scapular and Miraculous medal or Crucifix around your neck. Keep holy water on you, if you need to, and bless yourself often with this.

I highly suggest completely removing whatever it is in your life that allows you to gain access to the pornography. If you cannot get rid of the item, such as a computer that is shared with your whole family, I highly recommend investing in covenant eyes or other software that will prevent you from having access to the pornography.

Also, as another member mentioned, involve yourself in healthy activities. This will keep your mind busy with what you are occupied with rather than what the devil is trying to put in your head.

A strong prayer life, eating healthy, getting proper sleep, exercising, and doing work, are healthy habits in life that will help diminish the lust, for you will be more physically and spiritually sound to fight the good fight.

As long as you keep trying, you will eventually break free from this vice, I assure you! Do not give up! 👍 It is totally worth being free from the bondage of this sin and having a pure heart. Remember, God loves you beyond measure and desires to bestow His mercy upon you. I know how difficult it can be to persevere through the filth of lust, you are not alone by any means. I will certainly pray for you brother!
 
jaimeleglise said:
Avoid all near occasions of sin that will tempt.
Don’t be afraid to ask family or friends to take you to Confession. You don’t have to tell them why you want to go.
Ask the priest for advice.
Ask the Blessed Mother to help you stay pure.
Do not receive Communion unworthily and be sure to confess that.
Keep busy with interesting activities.
I will pray for you. God bless you.
Click to expand...
I’ve asked my brother about why we never ask to go (he doesn’t know about my addiction) he says that exact thing I think they’re going to be annoying and make it an embarrassing moment so it’s not just my fear its also my brothers we’ve both wanted to go to confession just because its good but are afraid of awkwardness that will happen and misconceptions

I’m not afraid of priests I’m afraid of all the asking I need to get to them
I constantly search for a excuse that won’t cause me emotional pain for embarrassment how they react
They don’t know how bad it is they’re just playing around but it really gets to me
 
jeannetherese said:
Hi ineedofmercy,
Don’t be afraid to talk to your pastor. Our priest has mentioned several times during homilies the challenge porn is posing for members of his flock. It is a real scourge in our society.
Your priest is likely very well aware of how pervasive this problem is for those in his care and wants to help you. Regular confession will help you access grace which will help you in your struggle.
To help lessen your self-consciousness about standing out for not taking communion, you might want to walk up with your family or friends, bow in reverence ((your priest may offer you a blessin) and then return to your seat. there may be others at your church who are also looking for ways to gracefully deal with this issue.
a friend of mine who was in a second marriage (no annulment) and could not partake of the Eucharist, would sit in the back with her husband where not processing was less noticable, sitting at the end our your family pew will also put you in the back of the family line.
Keep on praying and working on things, one day at a time, and know that many saints shared your challenge and still eventually became saints.
May God bless you.
jt
P.S. I wonder if some exercise might also be of help?
Click to expand...
I’m not afraid of talking to a priest
I don’t like asking my parents about these touchy subjects they always indirectly cause me great stress by how they act when I ask and the questions they ask about it
My brothers says that why he never asks

I’m afraid of what my parents who do I refused to take it
They would interrogate me and overreact
They don’t know how I do and I don’t think they’re in the same state religiously as I

Sometimes I think I might need to wait to I’m 16 or something when I can leave on my own
It’s absolute torture to ask and no one seems to see why
It’s hard to explain but it’s like I can break the fear barrier and do it
It’s really a hard thing for me to talk to them about anything awkward not just confession
That’s why I stopped and I’m afraid to ask now
I want this stop but both paths are painful and will just hurt but the good side looks worse sometimes because I don’t know all that it holds

I know suffering can be good for me but I don’t know how much I can take
If I get all that and my world changes and they know I did this I might not be the same person
I’ve already changed I used to be super funny and out going(to hide fears of embarassment)
Now I still am but I’m sort of dull and I think it’s because of this distress in under
 
Hi friend,
I want to preface my post saying that my post is not meant to be snarky or rude. It is intended to help you sort out your thoughts by asking some tough questions.

That being said, I respectfully ask you to take some time and try to figure out what you would like the other members on the forum to do to help you? You are a smart kid and know that you need the following things:
  1. Go to confession asap
  2. Not receive the Eucharist until you go to confession
  3. Speak with a priest or other professional to help with your addiction
I very much understand your reasons for being nervous to ask your parents to bring you to confession. While I do not know the dynamics in your family, I ask you if you have actually tried to ask them? I have had MANY instances where I have been POSITIVE my parents would react a certain way to something, only to be surprised when they react the opposite way.

Now, even if they do react in a way that you say they will, how can this board help you overcome this and move forward in your spiritual development? While you will certainly have people praying for you (myself included), I do not know if we can provide you any advice that can really assist you besides the things mentioned above.

Listen, I really empathize with you. I was 15 once and I am a convert to Catholicism who has parents who don’t get the importance of being strict in my faith. I also get the incredible sexual temptations that are in this world. Right now the world feels REALLY overwhelming and that is normal for a human being to experience.

The fact is, through Christ these burdens will be eased. However, we need to be strong enough to move towards him. It will be scary and the devil will make darn sure to try to convince us that it is not worth it…BUT IT IS!

You are in my prayers and if there is something else that this board can do to help, please let us know.
 
I understand your fear of talking to your parents about going to confession.

I’m not sure what to do about it.

How far is the church from your home? Walking or biking distance? Would your parents let you and your brother go out of the home for an hour or so without a lot of explaining?
 
Beryllos said:
I understand your fear of talking to your parents about going to confession.

I’m not sure what to do about it.

How far is the church from your home? Walking or biking distance? Would your parents let you and your brother go out of the home for an hour or so without a lot of explaining?
Click to expand...
The church is not to far
I’m not currently allowed by my parents to go to my church myself i hoping I can go alone soon
When I can i will go as much as I can
I’m trying to learn to trust God I prayed for something today and it worked but its hard to step up to my fear and ask to go
It’s really awkward
Last year I simply asked when we were going and my mom (unintentionally) was super annoying she said in a smug voice “why do you have something you need to confess?” And laughed and asked more questions

The only reason I was able ask when last year was because I thought I was going to burn for millions of years in purgatory and was panicing
 
If your parents get intrusive about confession just tell them what you told us - it’s the right thing to do. I wouldn’t go any further than something like that or saying something like “I want to grow in love for God”.
 
-]/-]
BCole said:
If your parents get intrusive about confession just tell them what you told us - it’s the right thing to do. I wouldn’t go any further than something like that or saying something like “I want to grow in love for God”.
Click to expand...
I just don’t want my life to change like that and have everyone treat me different for acting all of sudden(in their eyes) becoming super religious and them getting the wrong idea and or teasing me
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top