I need help! feeling like I’m ruining my Relationship with God

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Jackk12321

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Help!
Hello everyone this is my first time using this apologies if I’m not posting this to the correct place
I need help, my country is in lockdown and as a student I’m trying my best to keep busy and do things so I won’t be idle and exposed to temptation. I am trying but I feel like it’s so much easier to fall in to sin and I feel like I’m failing my relationship with God bby falling into mortal sin, but at the same time I have OCD and it’s become very scrupulous (I think that’s the word) as in I’m constantly scared I’m sinning. I am praying trying to stay faithful and not fall into sin or anything like that but i just question everything I’m doing and overall feel like I’m just ruining my relationship with God. And what’s making it worse is I don’t think I can go to confession because of this lockdown. Any tips on why I am feeling this way or how to not fall into sin
Many thanks
 
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You’re feeling this way because of your OCD. Please speak to your doctor as soon as you’re able. If you can get in contact with your Priest, do that too. He will be able to help you.

Please make sure you rely on real-life support, and not just this forum. Often CAF can make scrupulosity worse, so be aware of that and make sure your support is coming from trusted sources (Priest, doctor, therapist, parents etc).
 
Thank you so much❤️I might it’s so awkward cuz I was recovering but again I’ve stumbled but hopefully when everything gets back to normal I’ll be ok thanks for ur kind reply
 
I’m sorry you’re struggling right now ❤️ take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself. Don’t feel awkward, it’s completely normal for mental health to have ups and downs. Right now you’re on a down but you won’t be forever. Let people help you, it will pass.
 
My scrupulosity OCD is acting up too in this isolation. God loves you, and He doesn’t want you to live in fear. My spiritual director says that God’s way is to stand firm, be courageous, and trust. The devil and OCD want you to be scared, flee, and hide. Pray to Our Lady to obtain for you the great graces of confidence in God and courage to confront your fear.

If you’re not doing meditation and mental prayer, incorporate that into your prayer life. Lectio Divina is my weapon of choice, but if you can pray the rosary, all the better. Read Scripture when you feel bored and really get into it. Use your imagination. Ask God questions. Tell Him what you’re thinking. If your scruples are really acting up, avoid the passages about God’s wrath and focus on passages that emphasize His mercy. Fill yourself with God, who is Love itself, and it will drive out scruples. Don’t directly battle scruples or temptation by trying to push them away, resolve them, or figure them out. Turn your mind gently to other things and distract yourself. It is particularly helpful to call people up to see how they’re doing or if you’re living with other people to see if you can help them with something. Get outside of yourself.

If you believe you have fallen, make an act of perfect contrition and resolve to go to confession as soon as it’s available. Don’t fret about your sin, and don’t question if you’ve been truly forgiven. If you want contrition, you have it. Ask God to help you learn a lesson from it. And remember the requirements for mortal sin: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent co-existing simultaneously. For someone who loves God and is trying to avoid sin, it is really hard to mortally sin.

If you’re not seeing a counselor for your OCD, definitely find one, someone who is either Catholic or respects your faith. If you do not have a regular confessor, find one and stick to this confessor only. If you do not have a spiritual director, pray to God to send you one and actively seek one out. Ask your priest if he knows someone.

Don’t post anymore about your scruples on CAF or do compulsive researching about what your scruples are. Trust me, it will feed your OCD.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I’m totally here for you and praying for you. We are in this together.
 
With all due respect, it is a very bad idea to tell someone who has scrupulosity to go to confession multiple times a week. It will only further entrench them in the anxiety and despair that comes with the condition. Once a week, if that, is enough. I say this as someone who used to go to confession every day, and instead of coming out feeling renewed, came out feeling like the scum of the earth.
 
Thank you very much, I have been reading my bible a lot but I have been focusing on His wrath more than His infinite Mercy. I really appreciate the time you put into giving my advice I really needed it and will definetly continue to pray the Rosary every day your so kind God bless you, have a great Easter break❤️
 
  1. Know that thoughts are not sins if you don’t give into them. Sometimes thoughts just pop into your head. But they don’t really have to mean anything.
  2. Pray and don’t worry. Do what you can when you can.
 
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I know it’s hard. I went through scrupulosity too in the first several years after my conversion to Catholicism. I often recommend to people who are suffering two books that really helped me: Understanding Scrupulosity by Fr. Santa; and, Scruples and Sainthood by Trent Beattie.

I don’t know if you can get these books in your country but they really helped me. Hang in there!
 
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