I need help walking my friends and family through my vocation to religious life

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bellagorilla

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I want to start by saying that I’m a recent convert to the Catholic church. I come from a heavily Protestant family so I’m really the first in several generations to be Catholic so my family is at a bit of a loss for most things Catholic to begin with, but then when I brought up the topic of discernment they were really at a loss.

Currently I’m struggling to walk my friends and family through my discernment process. God has been calling me to a deeper form of religious life for a while now, and with the help of the priest on campus (I go to a Catholic college) I’m fairly positive that I will be joining a convent after graduation (another two years of waiting 😦).

But I’m at a loss for how to walk my Protestant friends and family through this. My Catholic friends are overjoyed and happy for me and my calling, but I’m afraid not everyone else understands it quite the same way.

I’m afraid my mom and my grandmother don’t understand my choice. My mom has supported my RCIA journey, my grandmother…understands why I did it. I think they don’t understand why I want to enter a convent over missions work as a layperson.

Does anyone have some insight on how I might be able to explain it to them? Maybe some books, or articles for them? Anything would be helpful. Thanks!
 
Most people (Catholics included) fail to understand that there is joy in religious, celibate vocations. You replace the immediate needs of a spouse, children, yourself, and a career with meeting the needs of the Church, through prayer, hospice, teaching, etc. Surprisingly, parents sometimes forget that you can do a world of good caring for those who don’t carry your DNA (in other words children). You will be able to hear God more clearly, as your ears won’t be contested with the noises of an non-religious vocation life.

You will not be “throwing your life away”. Devoting your life to God in a convent in silent prayer is not the same as, for example, quitting college, living out of a car, and surfing for the rest of your life (although for some this simple lifestyle is more fulfilling than the demands of a house and career). Is constant social interaction the only way to live life and without the constant barrage of noise, some think you will be unfulfilled?

I sometimes wish God had called me to live a religious life in a convent, like a life as a Poor Clare. I like to imagine it would be easier for me to give him all of myself as a PC, but He must know I can do a better job giving myself to him as a wife than as a sister. I just wish my heart and ears could hear him calling so much better than I do and so I wish for a life in a convent.
 
Didn’t want to make my last post too long

My sister-in-law is in her last year before taking her final vows as a Poor Clare. She is probably the happiest, most-at-peace person I know. She owns very little and everything she is given, is shared in community with the rest of the convent. Her faith is beautiful and is full of trust. She has little in earthly possessions to lose, therefore, why should she worry for earthly things? She hasn’t built a life for herself on sand, unlike me who has a career, a house, an old car, and other aspects of the American dream.

With the grace of God, living the life as a religious sister should be easier than living as a person in the secular world. Just think, very few of the commandments would be easy to break. I think the hardest part of my SIL’s life is being in community, not because of the supposed isolation, but because living in close quarters with people whom you see everyday and cannot escape makes annoyances and quirks that much more apparent, therefore ignoring those quirks is a lesson in patience, just like learning that many quirks of one’s spouse aren’t worth getting upset over (so what if my husband likes to play video games; as long as he’s not neglecting me or his responsibilities, he’s not hurting anything or anyone). You can’t escape those annoyances like you can in the outside world; there’s no taking a drive or a long walk alone to cool your head.
 
Sometimes, it’s better to surprise your family when you arrive at a decision. For instance, in two years time, when you enter the convent, announce your going -away- party two weeks before.
 
That’s kind of how I told my grandmother about RCIA. I did it on campus, and because I go so far away I only go home for long breaks, so I didn’t tell her until it was all said and done. Let’s just say that grandma…wasn’t very happy that I waited until after Easter to tell her.

I feel like if I wait until a month or so before I leave, it’ll make it even harder on my grandmother. She already hates the distance with college, I just want to make this transition easier on her.
 
I’m really hoping they will understand just how much peace and joy I’ve found in my discernment process.

My mom has always taught me to follow God’s path in life, and I feel like like she’ll understand when I say that this is the right path for me.
 
My sister likes to use the term ‘asexual’ (which I have never cared for), but I always wondered, whenever people around me would ask me why I wasn’t dating yet, why I didn’t have the same desire to date or have a family, the same way my best friend does. Now I’ve realized it’s because I’m not called to marriage, but both my parents and my grandparents married young, so I don’t think they can understand how I can be happy being single.

I keep telling my friends and family that I will still finish college. As it is, I won’t even be changing my major (it’s a little too late in the game for that, and I love what I have already, and I feel like it could serve me well in missions work), or anything else.

I guess it’s just one of those things that until it’s done, they won’t believe me. I just want to make the transition easier for them.
 
The Diocese or order you are considering (assuming you have already begun the process of talking to the Vocations Director) will also have support groups for your parents.
 
I have not started talking to any particular order yet, so I was unaware of this. Thank you!
 
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