I need help with sleep problems, and porn addiction

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I really need help sleeping. And part of the problem is my porn addiction, which I also need help with. I could went to bed at 1:25, I was tired. But then porn kept me up till about 2:10. But now it’s 3:48 and porn didn’t have any part in keeping me up till now.

People act like solving problems is just a matter of putting yourself in the right frame of mind and doing the right things. And YOU turn your life around. Well, I had a job interview tomorrow. But it’s 3:50am now. And I need to leave by like 8:55 at the latest to make it. It’s at 9:30. And I woke up at 10am today, which is the earliest I’ve managed to wake up in months. I even bought melatonin which I took a few days before waking up at 10. But it was making me groggy. So I didn’t want to take it tonight. But it didn’t matter anyways.

Last night I got 6 hrs of sleep, I woke up at 10am. But now I’m still up at 4 am. 18 hrs later. Still up. And my job interview is very unlikely. I’ve got an alarm for 4.5 hours from now. If I’m not well rested I’m not driving an hour round trip on the interstate.

Anyways, my point is, I need help sleeping. And I need help with my porn addiction. And I need help with a lot of things. I’ve been “in a good head space” plenty of times over 12… I guess 13 years now that it’s 2019. I’ve been motivated to try to get my life on track plenty of times, and my effort alone has failed.
And I’ve also been trying to fix my sleep schedule for 5 months. With little success. Despite my best efforts.
So, I really need help on these problems.

I’ve got a meeting with a priest at noon on Thursday. So, that will be a lot harder to sleep through. He’s also 2 miles down the road, and not 35. The jobs are 35 miles away
 
We can’t do anything good without God’s help, no matter what sins we are struggling with, and the best place to go for help is in the sacraments.

If you are baptised, make frequent use of confession.

Maybe your priest will be an accountability parter for you using Covenant Eyes.

By an extraordinary grace of God I overcame an addiction to pornography. If you have repentance for your sins and bring them to him, asking for his help, you will give you the strength you need to overcome temptations to sin.

Do you feel that being on the internet alone is a near occasion for sin for you? If so, you might need to quit the internet until you have overcome the sin you are facing.

Pray to Our Blessed Mother! Pray to Joseph!
 
Sleep disorders are a real thing. I’d mention it to your doctor.

But really, I know you don’t want to hear this, but a lot of this is going to be on you to fix. There are plenty of techniques for training yourself to wake up early and regularize your sleep schedule (happy to share some thoughts there) but any advice people give you is going to depend on you for implementation. Short of having someone physically drag you out of bed in the morning, there’s not much of an alternative.

Like, imagine we were talking about physical fitness. Lots of people can help you develop a training plan, give you advice on what to eat, talk about recovery times, etc…but ultimately, you have to lift the weights and do the running. No one can work out for you. They can just give you the knowledge to do it yourself.

Good luck on your job interview. Don’t blow it off because you’re tired.
 
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What I hear you saying is, you are a slave to your feelings. Your comfort level is more important than your work.
Go to the job interview.
 
I have friends in SA - Sex Anonymous - who have found great help with conquering porn / masturbation and sex addiction. I strongly suggest you contact them. God Bless
 
There are two things, occasional sleeplessness and insomnia.

For sleeplessness, develop good sleep practices.

Make sure your room is dark (use a sleep mask if not), your bed is made and sheets are clean, you have a good pillow.

Make sure the temperature is proper for sleeping (we sleep best when the room is a bit cool).

No exercise before bed.

No blue light before bed. No mentally stimulating activities like video games or action movies or debating with someone.

Reading with a small book light is a good way to calm down your mind, as is listening to audio. For some folks quiet soothing music works, for others nature sounds, and for others it is audio books (available free from Librivox or your library).

No stimulants, caffeine, no alcohol for several hours before bed.

Warm baths can be very relaxing.

Set a routine at night and stick with it. Always go to bed at the same time (edit to add, and make it a reasonable time, 9-10 hours before you have to be up in the morning), make it an hour earlier than you want to “be asleep”. Get up at the same time every morning

If these don’t work, you may have medical insomnia and that is something where you see your doctor. As a lifelong diagnosed insomniac, I will assure you a doctor can help you manage insomnia.
 
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Check out Matt Fradd youtube channel, particularly where he discusses ST Thomas Aquinas 4 steps to avoiding Lust.
 
Pornography is a tough thing to work through but there are many ways to fight it. Read up on Matt Fradd and check out his podcast Love People Use Things. One of the best ways is to deny yourself. Take cold showers so you regain control of your body again. Give up a drink or chips or something that you like. The logic is, if you can’t deny yourself pepsi, how can you deny yourself porn?

I have given talks on porn and masturbation at my college and I would like to help you out also if I am able to. I have a good program a friend of mine from this forum sent me and I will PM you it. Having an accountability partner is very important. Disable any incognito or private search, use porn blockers, Covenant Eyes, enable safe-search and block websites that you know cause you to sin or are the near-occasion of sin.

Frequent confession is also very good, and call upon St. Augustine and JPII to help you. It is also very important to have a positive goal. If your goal is to never use porn or masturbate again, that can be hard to reach and you will be disappointed. Instead, have a goal of getting closer to Christ through the sacraments and you will over time get more self control, while also doing all these things.

Also, research Theology of the Body from Christopher West or Jason Evert so you can understand what the true purpose of our bodies is and what sex is for in a healthy way. Lastly, you have to stop masturbating cold turkey. It’s tough but it is required, and frequent confession will help. I will send you the rest of the program.
 
I know from personal experience that exercise helps with lust in general, because the feel-good hormones from physical exertion satisfy the addiction without need for giving in, and plus, you stay in shape! I’ve found in my experience that if I do an intense work out and then go to bed, I’m too tired to satisfy myself and will often go right to sleep. This should solve both your problems, and add a bonus of living a healthier lifestyle 🙂
 
I don’t have a priest. This will be the first time I’m seeing this one. I don’t have a doctor. And I don’t have health insurance., so I doubt I’ll be going to the doctor until I have Medicaid. My counseling center has been trying to put me on Medicaid since October.
I did not go to the job interview. I don’t understand how people function off 4 hours of sleep. But I don’t function on 4 hours of sleep.
 
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Like I said, I’ve been trying to fix my sleep for 5 months now. I’ve only had recent success because I bought melatonin. I personally think Valium would be a great help to me. If I could get my hands on some.
 
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Well, it’s an addiction ,and like with any addiction your going to need professional help of some sort and support.
God bless and I’ll remember you in mass :pray:t2:
 
check out the nofap community there are tons of youtubers out there making videos, you need daily motivation. One guy that really inspired me is gabriel kalei bocanegra
 
Yeah, you could’ve done it. I suspect you were looking for an excuse not to go, consciously or not. Four hours of sleep isn’t that bad. People have fought literal battles on less. You could’ve managed, at least long enough to get through an interview. Yeah, you would’ve been tired. Yeah, getting out of bed would’ve been tough. Yeah, you might’ve needed an extra cup of coffee. So what?

Do you not see how self-defeating your behavior is? You keep telling everyone (and yourself) that you’re this helpless victim that bad things just happen to and don’t seem to acknowledge the role your own choices play in that.

I’m really not trying to beat up on you because I know you’re in a bad place, but you need to accept there is no scenario in which someone just swoops in and takes care of all your problems for you. No one is going to come and be mommy. It will never happen.

You’re clearly an intelligent guy; that’s obvious from talking to you for five minutes. But you need to let go of this self defeating mantra you keep feeding yourself where you give yourself permission to fail.

There are people doing just fine in life with like a quarter of your brains. You can be a self sufficient, responsible adult.
 
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Nah, not so much valium, just peace and tranquility from being free from this addiction. Fresh air, and you will sleep like a baby.
 
Not true. Mary is going to come and be his Mommy. She is my Mommy and your Mommy and She is Jesus’ Mommy and She promised to break the chains of addiction with the Holy Rosary and real men always call on their Blessed Mother.
 
I think you need to address the sleep issue first. Breaking other habits it very hard when you can’t think straight. As someone who went through severe insomnia for a few years here is some advice to get a good night.
  1. Get a job. This is not to sound harsh. It will tire you out more and get you in a much better routine. You will probably find other problems dissipate somewhat with this.
  2. Sleep hygiene. Look this up as there is lots of information about this. Don’t use your bed for anything else but sleep. Avoid screens before bed. Find ritualistic behaviours that signify bedtime. It will take time for your body to get used to this.
  3. Accept sometimes you will be tired. While 4 hours isn’t ideal, most parents who work will be getting similar amounts for some time of their careers. You can function on this.
  4. Exercise. Very important to tire your body out. Ideally you should not do this just before bed. Depending on your work industry will determine how much you need.
  5. Routine. I can’t stress this enough. Try getting to bed the same time each night. Make sure you get up around the same time each morning. When I was struggling I’d put my alarm on for 7.30 each morning despite what time I fell asleep. After time I became more tired in the evening which promoted a good sleep.
  6. See a GP. Is this depression related? Do you need medication?
I say this not to be harsh. But be realistic to your situation and own your part in it. I fully acknowledge it is hard to function. I have been there thanks to kids and it very much affected me for around a year. But I followed the above steps pretty rigidly and found myself in a much better place relatively quickly.

As for the other issues best of luck.
 
Actually, it already happened (someone swooping in to take care of us). Christ died for us, and the graces he offers is are available right now, if we only turn to His Church.

All we have to do is repent and turn to Him.

OP, you need to drop whatever you are doing and see a priest.
 
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