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CatholicH4
Guest
This is something that I am ashamed to say on the forum, but if someone who knows a lot about theology please PM me!!! I would greatly appreciate it, thank you and God Bless
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underacloud
Guest
This is an anonymous place…feel free to go ahead and post your dilemma.
If you rely on PMs, you may not know how reliable the advice will be. If any advice is posted in an open thread, it can be subject to critique by others.
Also, you could ask your question of an apologist in this site, who may be able to help.
If you rely on PMs, you may not know how reliable the advice will be. If any advice is posted in an open thread, it can be subject to critique by others.
Also, you could ask your question of an apologist in this site, who may be able to help.
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CatholicH4
Guest
Thank you… I guess I will post my concern, but please don’t think I am a horrible person. I had a bad thought about a relative who was pregnant (she previously had a miscarriage and became pregnant after…not exactly sure how much after). My mother informed me that she was having issues with the baby. So, I believe a day or couple days after I was having a bad day, and my mother stresses me out a lot of times and I am also stressed with issues of life… finding a job with my degree, finding a spouse to get married, etc. I had a quick thought in my head basically thinking or hoping that her baby would pass away or something bad along that line… i really hate saying that and I am controlling myself from tears. I felt so bad about it, so I prayed the rosary that night , and I have asked God to help her and her baby. But, I found out that she lost the baby (few weeks or so after), and I feel soooo unbelievably horrible. I am going to go to confession, but I don’t know if I can forgive myself if I keep thinking about it, because it’s so sad and I feel like it’s my fault. The baby was delivered early and passed away. The fact that the baby wasn’t baptized is also worrying me. I believe the baby will go to Heaven, but it still worries me, and I feel like such a bad person 
I plan on going to confession, but would this be a mortal sin? And, could I become a better person after confession?
I plan on going to confession, but would this be a mortal sin? And, could I become a better person after confession?
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underacloud
Guest
It is absolutely not your fault that this baby died. Your thoughts cannot possibly have contributed to what happened.
Babies die…a lot. God has a way to deal with this, as many babies die in the womb or soon after birth, without the opportunity for baptism. We entrust them to our loving God.
Confession forgives the very worst of sins, and helps you work towards being a better person. I hope, and trust, that if you make an honest confession regarding your thoughts in this matter, that your priest will help you work through your stress.
Don’t trouble yourself whether this is or isn’t a mortal sin. You are sorry for it, so trust that God forgives. The absolution you receive in confession should comfort you enormously.
Babies die…a lot. God has a way to deal with this, as many babies die in the womb or soon after birth, without the opportunity for baptism. We entrust them to our loving God.
Confession forgives the very worst of sins, and helps you work towards being a better person. I hope, and trust, that if you make an honest confession regarding your thoughts in this matter, that your priest will help you work through your stress.
Don’t trouble yourself whether this is or isn’t a mortal sin. You are sorry for it, so trust that God forgives. The absolution you receive in confession should comfort you enormously.
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PaulfromIowa
Guest
Passing thoughts that we do not encourage are not mortal sins. A mortal sin requires 1. grave matter 2. full knowledge of the sinfulness and 3. full consent of the will.
You are not the cause of the miscarriage. You or I are not that important.
Of course you can become a better person through frequent reception of the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion. We gain grace through Christ’s Sacraments.
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Qwestions
Guest
Dear CatholicH4, trust in God!
When thoughts come unbidden, they do just that: they come without our consciously thinking of them, without our first dwelling on them–they come UNbidden. The devil is behind those thoughts. He hits us from all directions, so we must fight back with the tools we’ve been given through the Church.
I agree with underacloud that the death of this baby was not a result of that unbidden thought, as hateful and repugnant as that thought may be.
There are those who would argue that since this thought just popped into your mind, it was not a sin. However, if you’ve been jealous of this (let’s call her your) cousin over different issues, wondering why she’s had such good “luck,” or has gained the sympathy or attention of the family, then such thoughts would have oiled the hinges for the devil to have squeezed through that door.
Ask for an appointment with your priest for a private matter and discuss the ins and outs with him, then take his advice: do what he says. If you simply can’t discuss this with your parish priest, go to a priest in a different parish, but you need a thorough discussion, beyond that in confession, in order to assuage your guilt and give you peace of mind.
You mentioned that you don’t know whether you can forgive yourself. That is not your job as a child of God! Your job is to TRUST IN THE LORD! So do what your priest says to do. Any culpability that you would have through uncharitable thoughts toward your cousin that might have set the stage for this horrible thought to enter your mind should be rendered neutral through a good confession, penance, and a firm commitment to be charitable toward others. Your sins are forgiven by God through His priest, and once a sin is forgiven, . … IT . . . IS . . .FORGIVEN. Period! Your soul is wiped CLEAN of any stain of sin, even the most venial of the venial sins.
Not a single person lives who hasn’t had a shocking thought hit him out of the blue, but it’s how you respond to life after you’ve resolved the situation with the priest that matters, once your soul is clean. In addition to confession, of course, are frequent participation in Mass, reception of the Holy Eucharist, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, prayer, rosaries, and novenas, but full, complete trust in Our Lord, Jesus Christ, is imperative. So do talk this over with a priest, Cath, and do follow what he says, then think positively and pray positively to do His bidding. THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.
Best wishes to you, Cath. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
When thoughts come unbidden, they do just that: they come without our consciously thinking of them, without our first dwelling on them–they come UNbidden. The devil is behind those thoughts. He hits us from all directions, so we must fight back with the tools we’ve been given through the Church.
I agree with underacloud that the death of this baby was not a result of that unbidden thought, as hateful and repugnant as that thought may be.
There are those who would argue that since this thought just popped into your mind, it was not a sin. However, if you’ve been jealous of this (let’s call her your) cousin over different issues, wondering why she’s had such good “luck,” or has gained the sympathy or attention of the family, then such thoughts would have oiled the hinges for the devil to have squeezed through that door.
Ask for an appointment with your priest for a private matter and discuss the ins and outs with him, then take his advice: do what he says. If you simply can’t discuss this with your parish priest, go to a priest in a different parish, but you need a thorough discussion, beyond that in confession, in order to assuage your guilt and give you peace of mind.
You mentioned that you don’t know whether you can forgive yourself. That is not your job as a child of God! Your job is to TRUST IN THE LORD! So do what your priest says to do. Any culpability that you would have through uncharitable thoughts toward your cousin that might have set the stage for this horrible thought to enter your mind should be rendered neutral through a good confession, penance, and a firm commitment to be charitable toward others. Your sins are forgiven by God through His priest, and once a sin is forgiven, . … IT . . . IS . . .FORGIVEN. Period! Your soul is wiped CLEAN of any stain of sin, even the most venial of the venial sins.
Not a single person lives who hasn’t had a shocking thought hit him out of the blue, but it’s how you respond to life after you’ve resolved the situation with the priest that matters, once your soul is clean. In addition to confession, of course, are frequent participation in Mass, reception of the Holy Eucharist, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, prayer, rosaries, and novenas, but full, complete trust in Our Lord, Jesus Christ, is imperative. So do talk this over with a priest, Cath, and do follow what he says, then think positively and pray positively to do His bidding. THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.
Best wishes to you, Cath. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
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egnubo
Guest
You may want to have a look at this in case it helps:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=723330
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=723330
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dshix
Guest
I was about to respond, but when I looked and it turned out that Qwestions already said everything (and more) that I would have said. 
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Ophelia23
Guest
:hug3: Welcome to CAF.
I am so sorry for your heartache over this. Please take the advice others have posted, and know that you are not responsible for this sweet baby’s death. If it is plaguing you that you had such a thought, then by all means confess it in order to take your burden and hand it to Jesus. I would gently encourage you to take all of this pain, all of this hurt and energy you are feeling about the circumstance, and offer them to Jesus as a sacrifice for your cousin’s pain. Remember that she is now a mother of a child who is with God. The baby is not with her physically, but she will always be mom. She needs all of your prayers at this time.
Be comforted in knowing that you are so deeply loved by an all encompassing love. Embrace it, allow it to propel you forward.
I am so sorry for your heartache over this. Please take the advice others have posted, and know that you are not responsible for this sweet baby’s death. If it is plaguing you that you had such a thought, then by all means confess it in order to take your burden and hand it to Jesus. I would gently encourage you to take all of this pain, all of this hurt and energy you are feeling about the circumstance, and offer them to Jesus as a sacrifice for your cousin’s pain. Remember that she is now a mother of a child who is with God. The baby is not with her physically, but she will always be mom. She needs all of your prayers at this time.
Be comforted in knowing that you are so deeply loved by an all encompassing love. Embrace it, allow it to propel you forward.
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CatholicH4
Guest
Thank you all for your responses! But, does anyone think that there could be demons inside of me, due to this thought??? How do I get rid of them if there was
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Julia_Mae
Guest
Most people have thoughts like this. It doesn’t make you bad and you aren’t morally responsible for every stray thought your subconscious send up.
You are stressed about a lot of things out of your control. That baby easily represents those things, the uncertainty and so forth. You want the stress factors to go away. You get a thought you wish the baby would just die.
I’m glad you posted because these kinds of thoughts are pretty common and you should know it’s not unusual and just let them go. IOW, you’re okay.
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Ophelia23
Guest
If there were any evil influence within you, the sacraments are pure medicine. Confession, the Eucharist, and fervent prayer are the solution if there were any sort of evil influence.
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jimmy
Guest
Our thoughts are out of our control to a degree. We can’t control what enters our minds. All we can do is ignore the thought, or at least try.
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Agatha813
Guest
I’m sorry this happened, but it really isn’t your fault. We all have thoughts that may not be the best, or we don’t always wish the best for others, but as long as we repent and truly sorry for what we thought, we should be at ease. There is no sin that can’t be forgiven, but you have to repent. I hope all goes well with you and her. I send my prayers.
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