I need to get some nerve!

[MommyLeah]

Hey all,

I was wondering if there are any other people out there who don’t stand up for themselves when they should or people who used to be that way and changed.

A neighbor of mine asked if I would pick her child up off the bus a couple of times a week, and either drop her off at her daycare, or keep her for a couple of hours until she got home. She said she would pay me 10 dollars a day. I know how it feels to be a single mom which she is, so I told her I would do it for 6 dollars a day.

Anyway, I’ve been doing it since the first week of September. I haven’t gotten paid yet. She told me she would pay me the end of the month, but here it is four days into the next month, and no pay. She also does inconsiderate things like call me late at night she knows I wake up super early to ask me if I can pick the child up the next day, etc. etc.

Today here I am…watching her child for another hour or so…I feel so bad asking for money…but I hate being taken advantage of…

Any advice on how to GET SOME NERVE?

smile

God Bless,

Leah

 

[carol_marie]

Hi Mommyleah,

I think it is very sweet of you to help her, however you deserve to be paid. When she picks up her child I would say, "I really enjoy looking after little Susie… according to my records you owe me for X number of days, which equals $x.xx. Then stop. Don’t say another word… just look her right in the eye. Make NO EXCUSES FOR HER like, "I know it’s tough being a single Mom… " or “I could really use the money…” That’s none of her business. She owes you fair & square so let her make up her own excuses. If she says she “doesn’t have it today” say “OK, I’ll need it the NEXT time I watch her.” Then call her the night before you watch Susie again and remind the mother you’d like $x.xx tomorrow. If she still doesn’t pay you, I’m thinking she’s not going to. You can then tell her that it’s not working out and she’ll need to make other arrangements. Then DON’T watch her again. Her mother, at that point is taking advantage of your kindness. When she calls you late at night tell her point blank in a not very sweet voice (this is hard for sweet people) YOU WOKE ME UP… WHAT TIME IS IT?? Hopefully she’ll get the hint… otherwise you’ll need to come right out and say “Please don’t call after x o’clock.” Then don’t answer the phone.
Good luck. I’m a wimp at times too. God Bless, CM

 

[kage_ar]

Free advice - worth every penny.

Friendship and business mixtures can be so sticky!

This advice only applies if caring for this child is not causing you a hardship and or your source of income…

Perhaps when she comes to pick the chid up today, you could say something like “Hey, is there a problem with short funds this month? What can I do to help.” It could be that she is juggling and trying to make ends meet and is embarrassed to admit that she does not have the money - you opening the conversation as a concerend friend could help her discuss the situation with you. If she really does not have the cash, maybe you could work out a trade? Babysitting time, lawn work, errands, etc.

If this is a good friend, you will find a solution that benefits everyone. If this is not an option, let her know that you will not be available to sit as of this Friday, and offer the unpaid dollars as a gift to a mother in need, and next time - arrange the payday at the same time you arrange the sitting schedule.

Nerve is best when dusted with kindness.

Kage

 

[jrabs]

I am a single mom too - however that does not give me the green light to take advantage of others. I still expect to pay for the services provided to me. You are being very very kind.

Let’s see, is there some way you can make a joke of the whole non-payment thing to get your point across? The more time passes, the harder it will be for her to pay in a lump sum.

Maybe bring up the topic by saying if she wants, she can leave the payment in your mailbox each week or something.

 

[Faithful_2_Rome]

Your reply can sorta be like this:

Please forgive me if this comes across as rude, but we had a deal on how and when you would pay me… its X amount of days into the month and you havent done so. Have you forgotten or are you short on funds?

If the answer is short on funds…then say…“I hope this doesnt offend you…but when you can pay me for what I have already done, I cannot continue to follow thru on our arrangement, …I hope you will understand.”

If THAT is met with indignation…

“I’m sorry you feel that way… I’ll tell you what…please consider what I did for you as a favor and you may keep the money owed to me…if you have a change of heart, please feel free to call me, as I would hate to have our relationship end on this note.”

If soing this face to face is unnerving…thats cool…write the words down and do it over the phone! It may even be better to do it by phone anyway…you will be more controlled and wont stumble on what ya have to say.

For someone like me, stuff like this has never been too much of a problem… Even when in grade school, I’d tell off the bully at the cost of knowing I’d catch a school yard beating… some are born with not taking guff, some need to cultivate it… but NEVER allow yourself to be taken advantage of…be polite but make sure they understand where you’re coming from.

Good Luck!