I no longer doubt, but I still question?

[300WhiteKnights]

For months, I have had doubts about the Christian faith, and listening to people like Christopher Hitchens on youtube caused me to doubt even more about the validity of the Bible, the Church, and Jesus himself. I had so many unanswered questions about the faith, and nobody seemed to know the answers. I remember at one point a couple of months ago just waking up in the middle of the night and crying in agony, almost being totally convinced that God did not exist. I didn’t even bother crying out to Him because I was so full of doubt.

Then several months passed, and I was still searching for God in Christian apologists, modern and old, in the works of C.S. Lewis and Dr. William Lane Criag. At the same time, I was also listening to debates online about God and Christianity. And still, I was full of doubt about my faith. But eventually, I began to hear about the beatification of Pope John Paul II and took interest. Especially in his miracle with the French nun. After researching Parkinson’s disease, and the miracle, I felt that there was enough evidence for me to remembrance my old faith. This also prompted me to research other church miracles, such as “Lady of Fatima” and “Our Lady of Lourdes.” But most of all, I found that the best evidence for Christianity are in the lives of people like Mother Theresa and John Paul II who are living proof that Christ really is alive in this world when he is able to work in the hearts of the faithful.

But my re-acceptance of Christ as my savior and Lord does not dissolve the questions I have about Christianity. I am still haunted by these types of questions that can be summarized by this statement: “How can it all be true?” I know now in my heart that it IS true, but still, how can it be? Why would God choose to reveal himself through a faith that not everyone knows about? Why would God allow people to be totally unaware of Christ if Christianity is the only way to the Father? How is Jesus’ death on the cross the salvation for all of mankind? What is Salvation?

Thank you for your patience.

 

[DElias]

I may be in the minority on this one, but I think that this can be spiritually healthy. My pastor back in Iowa once told a story of, I believe, a former FBI director. He was a devout Catholic. Knowing this, someone asked him once about any doubts he had as a Christian. He responded by saying that he dealt with those years ago.

I know a number of people who have gone through this, as I have to a certain extent. If one is raised with the belief, it does not necessarily mean that they ever addressed it. Faith is a journey. Spiritual growth happens over a lifetime. Prayer can help as well as counsel. You may come through this as a far stronger Christian than you could have ever imagined.

 

[PatrickSebast]

There isn’t anything terrible about questioning or doubting things. Heck if you just look at Sunday’s Gospel (The Story of St. Thomas) you would see one of the founding members of the Church couldn’t even help but have these feelings and Christ didn’t even offer a criticism to him for this, but merely said those who can believe without seeing are blessed.

 

[Maureen_Brilla]

Being human, it is impossible for our small brains to comprehend God’s Knowledge. The Christian “mystery” is not the same kind of “mystery” as perhaps Sherlock Holmes or Agatha Christy: one that begs to be solved. It is a Holy Mystery: spiritual, eternal, vast and bountiful. The Mystery IS God. Our love for Him is expressed in our willingness to live with unanswered questions knowing that there is an answer but we do not need to know it in order to believe. There are many things in life that occur of which I have little understanding or rational knowledge, yet I believe. I believe that a seed the size of a quarter can transform into a tree that is one hundred feet tall. I can access the research of others explaining how it happens, yet experiencing the truth of an oak tree by standing next to one and looking upward dwarfs anything I could possibly absorb from the facts and statistics written on a sheet of paper. I can read about God or I can read God’s messages to me through the Bible. The first speaks to my small brain, the latter speaks to my immortal soul. The unanswerable questions I will have until I die and come face to face with eternity and my Lord Jesus Christ are like the sweet anticipation of a planned trip. A mystery that can not be solved, only experienced.

Questions are good, but if you can not find the answer it may be that you are dealing with this special, unknowable kind of Mystery. Atheists seem to be people who refuse the grace to humbly accept waiting in that field of unknowing.

 

[Kelley_Green]

Questioning means you’re paying attention. This is a good thing. As for the atheists, here’s a 15 part series from a scientific perspective…
youtube.com/watch?v=wxc0NpTZE18
And here’s some pragmatic experience from myself… I fear no atheist. Ever. I’ve spent enough time with the Bible that I have a relationship with my maker. This is not to claim all knowing or twitter conversations, but a feeling for God’s presence in my life. The Bible is a living book for me, not just ink on a page. You can’t get there passively waiting on sermons from your Priest. You’ve got to engage the book more or atheists will befuddle you. Why should anyone walking past you in life have that ability if not for your own slack on your homework? Accept this opportunity to strengthen your faith & get some spiritual muscle tone. Without roots you’re bound to blow around like a tumbleweed forever.

So use these questions you have as a springboard into the Bible. Attend Bible study groups. Read up on theologians who’ve already raised those same questions. You can’t follow something you don’t understand, correct? So logically, you need to work on understanding. The only thing I can promise you-- the answers are in that book. You’ve only got to be ready willing & able to be open.

 

[Kelley_Green]

Questions are good, but if you can not find the answer it may be that you are dealing with this special, unknowable kind of Mystery. Atheists seem to be people who refuse the grace to humbly accept waiting in that field of unknowing.

Well said, Maureen, but remember… God made atheists too! Strange how this full frontal intellectual assault on religion has boomeranged on them and encouraged more folks back into the book than gideons bibles in hotels.

Your last sentence isn’t entirely truthful. Every ‘theory’ is a field of unknowing but they’re driven to prove/ disprove things. I support science and feel the real arguments between science and religion are ethical ones. One way or another they’ll be stumbling upon God sooner or later.

 

[JReducation]

For months, I have had doubts about the Christian faith, and listening to people like Christopher Hitchens on youtube caused me to doubt even more about the validity of the Bible, the Church, and Jesus himself. I had so many unanswered questions about the faith, and nobody seemed to know the answers. I remember at one point a couple of months ago just waking up in the middle of the night and crying in agony, almost being totally convinced that God did not exist. I didn’t even bother crying out to Him because I was so full of doubt.

Then several months passed, and I was still searching for God in Christian apologists, modern and old, in the works of C.S. Lewis and Dr. William Lane Criag. At the same time, I was also listening to debates online about God and Christianity. And still, I was full of doubt about my faith. But eventually, I began to hear about the beatification of Pope John Paul II and took interest. Especially in his miracle with the French nun. After researching Parkinson’s disease, and the miracle, I felt that there was enough evidence for me to remembrance my old faith. This also prompted me to research other church miracles, such as “Lady of Fatima” and “Our Lady of Lourdes.” But most of all, I found that the best evidence for Christianity are in the lives of people like Mother Theresa and John Paul II who are living proof that Christ really is alive in this world when he is able to work in the hearts of the faithful.

But my re-acceptance of Christ as my savior and Lord does not dissolve the questions I have about Christianity. I am still haunted by these types of questions that can be summarized by this statement: “How can it all be true?” I know now in my heart that it IS true, but still, how can it be? Why would God choose to reveal himself through a faith that not everyone knows about? Why would God allow people to be totally unaware of Christ if Christianity is the only way to the Father? How is Jesus’ death on the cross the salvation for all of mankind? What is Salvation?

Thank you for your patience.

In the spiritual life, it is very important to set boundaries on ourselves. If we keep insisting on understanding every point and answering every question, we run the risk of lifting ourselves up, little by little, until we become our own authority. When a man becomes his own authority, he ceases to need God and ceases to belong to a social network. He no longer needs either, since he believes that neither can add to his knowledge or his growth.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF