I Stink at Relaxing; Is it Possible to Get Better?

[Joe_5859]

The key to happiness is often found in lowering our expectations.

Amen to that. In college, I took a Psychology class on the Psychology of Happiness. Your one sentence basically summarizes that entire class.

 

[pianistclare]

I don’t know. You have small children. Vacations with small children aren’t typically relaxing. Vacations with small children are stressful. The change from their usual routine brings about missed naps, disruption to regular bedtime and sleeping in strange beds, delayed snacks and meals, etc. all resulting in overly tired and hungry children (that are often all wound up from the day.) How could that possibly be relaxing???

I’ve learned a few tricks to make life easier on vacations. I bring along granola bars and various easy to carry snack foods so that my children eat at regular intervals. The younger ones bring a favorite pillow-pet and/or blankie to help them sleep. Swim-vests come on the trip too. I’ve become a master packer: instead of everyone having their things in individual cases, we have a case for swim and sleepwear, and half the clothes usually stay packed in a different suitcase until we’re half-way through the trip.

The key to happiness is often found in lowering our expectations. That way, you can be pleasantly surprised when a relaxing moment comes along instead of upset when they don’t. I go on vacations expecting that I will need to work something like a cruise director, cook, life-guard and bus driver combined with an emergency room triage nurse.

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In case anyone is wondering, our last family vacation was great!

Excellent points. Interestingly, many vacation spots that are “kid-friendly” tend to provide WAY too many things that overstimulate, and conversely, disappoint greatly.
Rides that adults would think are really fun, can be really scary if you have a timid child.
Mom doesn’t want to ride the super-coaster, and child can’t ride alone. Things like that. Add the tremendous cost and sacrifice on a family to go to these places, and you have a recipe for disaster. Kid tolerant gated beach resorts are tamer, and easier to manage a day where the most stressful thing you have to do is go shelling or float in the nearby pool.
Pick your destination wisely for a vacation that is relaxing, enjoyable enough for kids, and avoids those fearful elements. Same with cabin vacation in the mountains. Less to see, less to do, and more time to relax, while enjoying the great outdoors, learning about flora and fauna, walking, bird watching, etc.

 

[JamalChristophr]

Lol … I did include it all, so hopefully I correctly did the citation. If not, clue me in because half the time my head is in the clouds.

Since you’re a special needs mammal who is vertically challenged (or would that be “gifted”?) I shall give you a special dispensation with full rights to quote me whenever it so pleases Your Spottendness. :coffeeread:

 

[JamalChristophr]

I don’t know. You have small children. Vacations with small children aren’t typically relaxing. Vacations with small children are stressful. The change from their usual routine brings about missed naps, disruption to regular bedtime and sleeping in strange beds, delayed snacks and meals, etc. all resulting in overly tired and hungry children (that are often all wound up from the day.) How could that possibly be relaxing???

I’ve learned a few tricks to make life easier on vacations. I bring along granola bars and various easy to carry snack foods so that my children eat at regular intervals. The younger ones bring a favorite pillow-pet and/or blankie to help them sleep. Swim-vests come on the trip too. I’ve become a master packer: instead of everyone having their things in individual cases, we have a case for swim and sleepwear, and half the clothes usually stay packed in a different suitcase until we’re half-way through the trip.

The key to happiness is often found in lowering our expectations. That way, you can be pleasantly surprised when a relaxing moment comes along instead of upset when they don’t. I go on vacations expecting that I will need to work something like a cruise director, cook, life-guard and bus driver combined with an emergency room triage nurse.

---

In case anyone is wondering, our last family vacation was great!

Wise words, indeed. I bet you have a PhD. in momology.

 

[pensmama87]

It is a beach vacation, and we’re staying with relatives who a) are enjoyable company and b) are very good with the kids, so if I can get with the program, it should be a little more relaxing than everyday life. At the very least, I’m not going to be in charge of the meal planning and major cooking (though I will help, of course), so that in and of itself will be a huge load off my mind. Plus I’ll only be responsible for my own children.

I also have a master packing list which should make that less stress-inducing, and my husband is always the one who takes care of putting the stuff in the car (he’s very good at that). We’ve planned the trip so we won’t need to stop at hotels (we did that last time and it was a disaster).

When I was growing up we did a lot of vacationing at amusement parks, etc. and I don’t know how my parents did it. Staying in a house, and going out to look at the ocean all day is much more my type of vacation, even with small children involved (and my kids had it drilled into them young that they Do. Not. Touch. Any. Jellyfish.)

 

[katesmom]

You sound like me. I think my busyness is anxiety related. I have a hard time relaxing because as those to do lists pile up I feel more frazzled. So while trying to avoid feeling anxious by my To Do Lists - I end up feeling anxious anyway because I cannot relax.

I suppose I could try to relax but find it incredibly difficult. I cram all kind of unnecessary things into my downtime too My mind is just so busy and when I sit to take a rest, I start to feel anxious because of all the things I think I need to do?

As for Vacation with children, depending on their ages, it can be stressful too. But try to enjoy your time. Its your vacation too

Take deep breaths, find something you enjoy and relax your body. I wish I had more advice, but I wanted you to know that I can relate.

 

[pianistclare]

It is a beach vacation, and we’re staying with relatives who a) are enjoyable company and b) are very good with the kids, so if I can get with the program, it should be a little more relaxing than everyday life. At the very least, I’m not going to be in charge of the meal planning and major cooking (though I will help, of course), so that in and of itself will be a huge load off my mind. Plus I’ll only be responsible for my own children.

I also have a master packing list which should make that less stress-inducing, and my husband is always the one who takes care of putting the stuff in the car (he’s very good at that). We’ve planned the trip so we won’t need to stop at hotels (we did that last time and it was a disaster).

When I was growing up we did a lot of vacationing at amusement parks, etc. and I don’t know how my parents did it. Staying in a house, and going out to look at the ocean all day is much more my type of vacation, even with small children involved (and my kids had it drilled into them young that they Do. Not. Touch. Any. Jellyfish.)

Sounds fun. Wish I could come with you! LOL

 

[EasterJoy]

It is a beach vacation, and we’re staying with relatives who a) are enjoyable company and b) are very good with the kids, so if I can get with the program, it should be a little more relaxing than everyday life. At the very least, I’m not going to be in charge of the meal planning and major cooking (though I will help, of course), so that in and of itself will be a huge load off my mind. Plus I’ll only be responsible for my own children.

I also have a master packing list which should make that less stress-inducing, and my husband is always the one who takes care of putting the stuff in the car (he’s very good at that). We’ve planned the trip so we won’t need to stop at hotels (we did that last time and it was a disaster).

When I was growing up we did a lot of vacationing at amusement parks, etc. and I don’t know how my parents did it. Staying in a house, and going out to look at the ocean all day is much more my type of vacation, even with small children involved (and my kids had it drilled into them young that they Do. Not. Touch. Any. Jellyfish.)

We had twins, and I was a huge believer in all-inclusive packing lists. Check everything off the list, and you know you can quit turning the mattresses upside down and looking under beds.

I know many people who have “productive” relaxation, like crocheting, sewing, baking, jewelry-making, gardening, woodworking, restoring cars, and so on. They get that “ah…” feeling from disappearing into something that allows reflection as they work but takes their mind off the niggling things, in finishing with some visible accomplishment when they are done, and in having a “job” that they enjoy. Sometimes, the refreshment is in doing something that will not be undone or need to be done again within 24 hours, or that only needs to please the person doing the work. Others find relaxation in activities that occupy their minds, like doing puzzles or playing bridge or chess. That is all OK. These are the sorts of things the monks and nuns do during recreational time at monasteries and convents! Whatever leaves your mind feeling clearer and your body feeling refreshed.

My husband and I take the cribbage board on vacation. Don’t forget to pack fun things for yourself and your husband, in addition to what you bring for the kids!

 

[chevalier]

I Stink at Relaxing; Is it Possible to Get Better?

Depends! If you relax actively, you’re probably going to stink some and it isn’t going to get any better. At least now without some soap.