I stopped watching porn. But how do I get rid of the memories?

[SinfulMan]

I stopped watching porn some time ago. I used to watch porn regularly, probably once or twice a week, and for hours at a stretch. I realized that I couldn’t be healed of my masturbation problem unless I stopped the source. And so I commited myself to avoid porn and I’ve kept the commitment well so far, it’s been quite a while. However, the sheer amount of porn that I had watched troubles me even now. Almost everyday, I get memories of something or the other that I had watched. How do I get rid of all these memories? I’m sure that if I am able to get rid of these memories, my masturbation problem will soon be solved.

 

[Epistemes]

Hello,

They’ll creep up on you, no doubt.

Keep yourself busy. Idleness is the workshop of the devil. If you have a job, work hard. Try not to isolate yourself for long periods of time. Don’t spend too much time sitting in front of the television or computer. Exercise, if you can. Read a book. Read the Scriptures, but avoid passages dealing with sexually explicit situations (such as the rape of Tamar) in the Old Testament.

When checking out women you find attractive, control your thoughts. If you can’t control your thoughts, then avert your eyes. If you can’t avert your eyes, try repeating, “Child of God,” like a mantra in your head.

And, most important, pray. Don’t just pray for release from this prison, but pray for a closeness to Jesus so that you might not even worry about these thoughts ever again for thinking solely on him. Mother Mary, Queen of Purity, will be there to help you.

 

[wcknight]

They fade over time, but for now pray and focus on some thing else. Some of the saints used physical pain to remind themselves of the passion of Christ. That may be a bit drastic, thinking about sports or hobbies or even work may work.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Fr Corapi suggested that when impure thoughts come into your mind, turn to one who is pure, Our Blessed Mother. Say a Hail Mary whenever you become aware of impure thoughts. I do it, and it works.

Jim

 

[beckycmarie]

Fr Corapi suggested that when impure thoughts come into your mind, turn to one who is pure, Our Blessed Mother. Say a Hail Mary whenever you become aware of impure thoughts. I do it, and it works.

Jim

In my experience, this practice has been invaluable in dealing with impure thoughts and temptations of all kinds.

 

[withwind]

Don’t try to get rid of memories - memories can stay with you until the day you die. Therefore, insteading of running away from memories, dealing with them by some of these suggestions:

• acknowleding who you were and what you did.
• accepting God’s love and mercy for you.
• continuing to pray and ask for growing in virtues.
• yes, go to Our Blessed Virgin Mary.

 

[brigid12]

Fr Corapi suggested that when impure thoughts come into your mind, turn to one who is pure, Our Blessed Mother. Say a Hail Mary whenever you become aware of impure thoughts. I do it, and it works.

Jim

:yup: :yup: :yup:

 

[CoolRich59]

There’s some great responses here. Please allow me to add my .02 and hope that I can add some value.

I’ve read that to break a bad habit, one should form a new (good) habit. Perhaps the same theory will work with “bad” memories? What I mean is that when you are afflicted with these bad memories, develop the habit of immediately doing something good (e.g. praying to the BVM).

Turn the tables on these bad memories. When afflicted by them, in addition to turning to your good habit, let them be a reminder to you that while you are weak and sinful, God is all-good, all-powerful and abounding in mercy. Then you can actually be grateful when you are afflicted because it’s just another opportunity to be aware of God and thankful for his mercy and forgiveness.

On a practical note, while it’s hard to get rid of the memories, have you gotten rid of the porno? I trust you’ve disposed of the porno (magazines, movies, etc) – right? You should also consider canceling subscription to cable/satellite packages carrying porn. Perhaps you could install filtering software on your PC to block porn sites, or just shut down your PC in the evening.

Finally, I could not agree more with the suggestions to turn to the Blessed Mother. Ask, beg, plead for her help. Ask St. Michael and your guardian angels to get on your team as well. You are being afflicted by a powerful enemy who considers this situation to be merely a temporary setback. Don’t hesitate to call on and rely on the Blessed Mother and all the angels and saints to come to your assistance. I will be praying for you too. God bless you.

 

[Elizabeth502]

There’s some great responses here. Please allow me to add my .02 and hope that I can add some value.

I’ve read that to break a bad habit, one should form a new (good) habit. Perhaps the same theory will work with “bad” memories? What I mean is that when you are afflicted with these bad memories, develop the habit of immediately doing something good (e.g. praying to the BVM).

Turn the tables on these bad memories. When afflicted by them, in addition to turning to your good habit, let them be a reminder to you that while you are weak and sinful, God is all-good, all-powerful and abounding in mercy. Then you can actually be grateful when you are afflicted because it’s just another opportunity to be aware of God and thankful for his mercy and forgiveness.

On a practical note, while it’s hard to get rid of the memories, have you gotten rid of the porno? I trust you’ve disposed of the porno (magazines, movies, etc) – right? You should also consider canceling subscription to cable/satellite packages carrying porn. Perhaps you could install filtering software on your PC to block porn sites, or just shut down your PC in the evening.

Finally, I could not agree more with the suggestions to turn to the Blessed Mother. Ask, beg, plead for her help. Ask St. Michael and your guardian angels to get on your team as well. You are being afflicted by a powerful enemy who considers this situation to be merely a temporary setback. Don’t hesitate to call on and rely on the Blessed Mother and all the angels and saints to come to your assistance. I will be praying for you too. God bless you.

I completely agree with this post: all of it.
I don’t think it is being overly dramatic to concede that there is real warfare out there in the worldly culture. Sexual imagery & language bombard us through the media, even those of us who have never visited a porn site, developed a porn habit, etc. In order to protect one’s purity, one must engage in counter-warfare. A re-direction & uplifting of our activities, our associations, our thoughts and our language. However, you will find that as you become more prayerful, this re-orientation of your life, interiorly and exteriorly, will become more automatic for you. You will instinctively react with horror/disgust when such an image or a thought even begins to creep into your brain. You will associate that with an old, past “you,” now that you have put on Christ, as Paul says.

In the meantime do what CoolRich says. (Be aggressive.)

God Bless,
E.

 

[SamDash]

The memories will likely never completely disappear.

Just keep fighting- praying, going to Confession, partaking in the other Sacraments, etc.-, and if you slip up, don’t beat yourself up and just pick yourself up and keep fighting. God will never abandon you.

You’re in pretty good company; St. Jerome said he could never get the dancing girls of Rome out of his mind, even after he fled to the desert.

 

[cameraguy55]

SinfulMan,

   Hi there!  I am new on this site and this particular post attracted me because I experienced the same exact thing.  I watched porn a lot on the computer and I also had problems of thoughts popping in my head and not being able to get rid of them.  What I did was I bought my very first holy rosary and I've been praying to the Virgin Mary every morning and every night. I also have attended mass every sunday and have asked Jesus for his help in breaking the bad habit.  I got rid of my porn and hardly use the internet for that kind of habit.  The Holy Rosary is a very power prayer and since I started praying the rosary this weekend, I have seen a difference in my day and my attitude towards life itself.  Ask Mary for her help and she will protect you from these bad thoughts.  Take care and God Bless!


                          ~Stephen

 

[rtibs]

SinfulMan,

   Hi there!  I am new on this site and this particular post attracted me because I experienced the same exact thing.  I watched porn a lot on the computer and I also had problems of thoughts popping in my head and not being able to get rid of them.  What I did was I bought my very first holy rosary and I've been praying to the Virgin Mary every morning and every night. I also have attended mass every sunday and have asked Jesus for his help in breaking the bad habit.  I got rid of my porn and hardly use the internet for that kind of habit.  The Holy Rosary is a very power prayer and since I started praying the rosary this weekend, I have seen a difference in my day and my attitude towards life itself.  Ask Mary for her help and she will protect you from these bad thoughts.  Take care and God Bless!


                          ~Stephen

I couldn’t agree more. I had disturbing bouts with my unconscious (recurring dreams about water around me or running away from someone I could not even identify) trying to suppress and deny the experience. As I learned to accept my sinfulness and God’s forgiveness, I pray the Holy Rosary by reciting a decade after each mystery, inserting them during vacant periods throughout the day. This way, I keep my ego conscious of Our Lady’s loving and healing touch and in time, I know the memory will no longer bother me. Avoiding the net, the mags and bad company help too. God bless us.

 

[foolishmortal]

To add, say three Hail Marys after you wake and by eveningtime, adding Oh my mother, prevent me from committing mortal sin during this day/night.

Also, ask the Precious Blood of Jesus to wash over you, say the prayer of daily neglects, say the Morning Offering, say your daily Rosary (don’t forget that daily either!), and say a prayer to Jesus, Mary and Joseph, St. Maria Goretti and Guardian Angel to keep you pure.

Someone else might help me with Bible passages.
In general, though, dependence on God, because being into porn is dependence upon yourself for your happiness and fulfillment which, of course, is just a distraction from deep-down problems–and is truly one of the opiates of the people (Porn (being a substitute for sex), drugs and rock ‘n’ roll). I’ve looked at Nat. Geo. kind of pics, pretending it was not dangerous, but I never really believed it. I went to confession, but then thought I overreacted in my scrupulosity (the spiritual insecurity of scrupulosity, feeling belittled and the over-exhaustion of scrupulosity in worldly environments possibly being a root for me, but the clandestine thrill of just looking at a Playboy, plus lack of a good spiritual and religious upbringing, possibly involving scandalization by a representative of religion, can make a curious look into an addiction for others and also stress, plus running on spiritual fumes, could do it for others, like those on a base who have them provided). The spark and the fuel could be many things, but the prayers above and being right with and dependence on God for fulfillment are the answers.

I would like to have a partnership in an apostolate to promote innocent entertainment–being easily entertained by watching a squirrel scurry about, be amazed by a spectrum caused by sun shining on something in the room, and, of course, decent programming on tv that does not get explicit or make an invalid or otherwise, sinful relationship ok in an otherwise, decent movie. I think “The Santa Claus” was, though it had it ok for Judge Reinhold’s character to be in a married relationship with the wife of the new Santa Claus. I don’t remember if santa finds a new “wife” in later installments–but I digress.