S
speyres1
Guest
Hi, I’m Sean.
I hope this is the right place to share this. I apologize if it’s quite a bit long.
I want God, I want Christ, I want the Church, but I have so many questions, especially of the philosophical type.
I was baptized and educated to be a Catholic by my non-observant parents. Even from the age of around 6 or 7 I didn’t understand why one of the major “rules” of Christian practice is to go to church every Sunday, yet we never went. I remember when I was about 12 my mom told a basketball coach from a local public junior high that she would not send me there because she valued Catholic education so much.
I didn’t take my faith seriously until about senior year of high school. I had a car, I was an adult, and I couldn’t refute the resurrection theories presented in theology class. I took it quite seriously. I went to mass alone at least twice a week, confession and adoration frequently, I bought all kinds of items: a crucifix, a scapular, rosaries, books, posters, etc.
But it all fell apart after about, 5 months. I would get extremely anxious during Church, and even though I was amongst many, I felt incredibly lonely, and it was terrifying. During Mass the same sort of questions would pop into my head repeatedly…:
If God knew that Satan would fall, that Adam and Eve would commit the original sin, that he would have to sacrifice himself, and that so many people would choose to reject him, why did he create anything at all? As something to entertain himself with? For selfish worship? Do we really have free will? I don’t know if I truly buy into the idea of “God is the watcher of our actions but we still choose them.” I don’t see how He could be this all-loving and all-knowing creator if he knew all of this would happen…
What happens to the unfaithful after they die? Let’s take my own father for example… I absolutely love and adore my father. He raised me well, provides for our family, remains loyal to his wife, and keeps his mind sharp. He’s my role model. However, he’s a non-observant Catholic so of course, he has mortally sinned. Is he doomed? And beyond that, if I were to somehow get to heaven, and my father was not there, how could I experience perfect joy? I would never see him for eternity. I definitely think Heaven would be a lot better with him, but I don’t want a faith that says everyone receives the joy of heaven.
Does prayer do anything at all? Soren Kierkegaard, I believe, claimed that prayer does not change God but instead changes the believer. But why do we ask for God to help us or for Mary to pray for us “now and at the hour of our death”? If God already knows what’s going to happen, that fact that we were gonna pray, the outcome of whatever we need help with, or our destination after death, then why do we so often pray like that? What’s the point? Are we lying to ourselves?
What about the idea that God “forgets our sins” after we confess them? What does that even mean? He knows everything doesn’t he? How could he just, forget?
I hope you all can help me.
I want Christ, but it seems too irrational to believe.
Thank you
I hope this is the right place to share this. I apologize if it’s quite a bit long.
I want God, I want Christ, I want the Church, but I have so many questions, especially of the philosophical type.
I was baptized and educated to be a Catholic by my non-observant parents. Even from the age of around 6 or 7 I didn’t understand why one of the major “rules” of Christian practice is to go to church every Sunday, yet we never went. I remember when I was about 12 my mom told a basketball coach from a local public junior high that she would not send me there because she valued Catholic education so much.
I didn’t take my faith seriously until about senior year of high school. I had a car, I was an adult, and I couldn’t refute the resurrection theories presented in theology class. I took it quite seriously. I went to mass alone at least twice a week, confession and adoration frequently, I bought all kinds of items: a crucifix, a scapular, rosaries, books, posters, etc.
But it all fell apart after about, 5 months. I would get extremely anxious during Church, and even though I was amongst many, I felt incredibly lonely, and it was terrifying. During Mass the same sort of questions would pop into my head repeatedly…:
If God knew that Satan would fall, that Adam and Eve would commit the original sin, that he would have to sacrifice himself, and that so many people would choose to reject him, why did he create anything at all? As something to entertain himself with? For selfish worship? Do we really have free will? I don’t know if I truly buy into the idea of “God is the watcher of our actions but we still choose them.” I don’t see how He could be this all-loving and all-knowing creator if he knew all of this would happen…
What happens to the unfaithful after they die? Let’s take my own father for example… I absolutely love and adore my father. He raised me well, provides for our family, remains loyal to his wife, and keeps his mind sharp. He’s my role model. However, he’s a non-observant Catholic so of course, he has mortally sinned. Is he doomed? And beyond that, if I were to somehow get to heaven, and my father was not there, how could I experience perfect joy? I would never see him for eternity. I definitely think Heaven would be a lot better with him, but I don’t want a faith that says everyone receives the joy of heaven.
Does prayer do anything at all? Soren Kierkegaard, I believe, claimed that prayer does not change God but instead changes the believer. But why do we ask for God to help us or for Mary to pray for us “now and at the hour of our death”? If God already knows what’s going to happen, that fact that we were gonna pray, the outcome of whatever we need help with, or our destination after death, then why do we so often pray like that? What’s the point? Are we lying to ourselves?
What about the idea that God “forgets our sins” after we confess them? What does that even mean? He knows everything doesn’t he? How could he just, forget?
I hope you all can help me.
I want Christ, but it seems too irrational to believe.
Thank you
