I would appreciate some tips/advice for talking to a friend about the faith

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dje101

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Hello CAF members,

I hope you are having a wonderful day. I recently created a thread in the prayer intentions about my friend suddenly becoming interested in Catholicism.

We have been friends since 3rd grade, and are now 23 & 24 years old. He has always called himself a Christian, but never really went to a particular church for an extended period. Last week he text me out of nowhere asking if he can go to church with me the next time I go. I said “of course”, and accompanied him to my parish this last Sunday.

Now, he says he wants to go again on Sunday, and he is also asking if I’ll go with him to a Catholic bookstore tomorrow. I am SO thrilled. I’ve been praying for him for a very long time

My problem is that I am so in love the with Church and learning about it that I know I can be a little…much. My fiancé and brother can attest to that. When someone asks a question, I can go for days talking about this and that. I don’t want to be overbearing to my friend, but I also want to be helpful and supportive.

This is also my first time where someone has seriously approached me with interest in the Catholic Church, so I don’t want to drive him away. What are some things I can do to be supportive and helpful without going overboard?

Thanks in advance!!
 
Just thought of a few ideas:

Maybe pray for the Holy Spirit to give you inspiration?
Count to 10 while formulating an answer?
Maybe buy an easy guide to Catholicism,and either learn its answers or give it to your friend?

God will inspire your friend to continue seeking, I’m sure they know what you are like already 🙂

Pax et Bonum+
 
Along with FrancisBenedict’s great advice, I’d say to let your friend set the pace.

As he asks questions, you answer.

If you don’t have an immediate answer you can say you’ll get it for him. Or, if he’s the kind of person who likes to look things up for himself–there’s nothing that impresses things on the heart and mind better than having a personal interest–you can suggest resources for him.

Invite him to post questions on CAF.

Let him know you will be there for him, but don’t push him.

And keep on being his friend.

Ask others to pray for him. I will. 🙂
 
Just a couple of additional thoughts to add to the good suggestions already here:
  • When you are talking to your friend, make sure you spend as much time as possible listening.
  • When you are in the Catholic bookstore, suggest your friend gets some edition of the Catechism and/or a conversion story (like “Rome, Sweet Home”)
  • Always remember that it is not your responsibility to make sure that your friend converts. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job and his. Your job is to be a friend. So answer his questions and support him, but don’t be stressed.
And always, as other people have mentioned, pray! 🙂

–Jen
 
I don’t know that you need to say a lot, other than answer questions as one other post suggested.
However, you have a big plus on your side - you love being Catholic, love the Church, love walking with Jesus. I say to stay away from any doctrinal arguments, and instead express what you find delightful in being Catholic in whatever the conversation is. Instead of “Bread and Wine are changed into the body and blood of Christ in the Eucharist”, it might be said, “I love going to Mass - I have found Jesus when I take the bread and drink the wine.”
When Phillip told Nathaniel that he had found the hoped for Messiah, the King of the Kingdom from God (he was overjoyed to tell Nathaniel). Nathaniel wondered how anything good could come from Nazareth. Phillip’s reply: “Come and see”. He did not explain an answer, but was content to let the presence of Jesus be the answer.

You don’t need all answers, but you are inviting your friend to come and be in the presence of Jesus at Mass. You can also invite him to other things, such as Bible studies, if you are in any (which is where I finally came to understand that I wanted to be Catholic). We have the presence of Christ, really, just as Phillip did, and many of us come to believe in Him as Nathaniel did, when we “come and see”.

John Martin
 
Thanks for the tips everyone. I’m just very excited about him being interested in the church and I want to make the best of the time.

Today went to a bookstore and he bought an Ignatius bible and CCC. I know revert_jen mentioned trying to get him to read “Rome sweet home”, which I will recommend in a few weeks one he’s had a chance to make some headway in the CCC. Any other recommendations as to which books would be good for him to read? There are a lot out there and I haven’t read very many.
 
try, the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It sums up the Catechism basically and was made by the Bishops. Its great.
 
Pray to the Holy Spirit to guide and work through you.

God bless

jesus g
 
dje101 said:
Thanks for the tips everyone. I’m just very excited about him being interested in the church and I want to make the best of the time.

Today went to a bookstore and he bought an Ignatius bible and CCC. I know revert_jen mentioned trying to get him to read “Rome sweet home”, which I will recommend in a few weeks one he’s had a chance to make some headway in the CCC. Any other recommendations as to which books would be good for him to read? There are a lot out there and I haven’t read very many.
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As for books recommendations, it depends on the kind of person he is. Is he philosophical? Then I’d recommend G. K. Chesterton’s “The Catholic Church and Conversion”. Is he more experiential? Then something like "Rome, Sweet Rome"and other conversion stories might be good. Is he spiritually attuned? Then one of the great saints, such as St. Therese of Lisieux’s “The Story of a Soul” might be good for him. There’s many choices, so it helps if you know the kind of thing that will help him most. 🙂
 
Della said:
As for books recommendations, it depends on the kind of person he is. Is he philosophical? Then I’d recommend G. K. Chesterton’s “The Catholic Church and Conversion”. Is he more experiential? Then something like "Rome, Sweet Rome"and other conversion stories might be good. Is he spiritually attuned? Then one of the great saints, such as St. Therese of Lisieux’s “The Story of a Soul” might be good for him. There’s many choices, so it helps if you know the kind of thing that will help him most. 🙂
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I think it’s most accurate to describe him as being more philosophically-experiential, if that makes sense, :D, meaning that he really likes the CC because he felt so welcome and not like a bad person, yet before he decides to convert, he needs to know what the church teaches. He feels he’d be a hypocrite by saying that he’s a Catholic if he doesn’t even know what the church teaches.
 
dje101 said:
I think it’s most accurate to describe him as being more philosophically-experiential, if that makes sense, :D, meaning that he really likes the CC because he felt so welcome and not like a bad person, yet before he decides to convert, he needs to know what the church teaches. He feels he’d be a hypocrite by saying that he’s a Catholic if he doesn’t even know what the church teaches.
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How about some of Peter Kreeft’s books? Those sound like a good fit for him. You can try his book “Catholic Christianity” which is an excellent explanation and introduction of the Catechism. If he wants a sort of apologetics type thing, Kreeft’s “Fundamentals of the Faith” is a pretty good overview also.
 
dje101 said:
Any other recommendations as to which books would be good for him to read?
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I suggest “Catholicism” by Fr. Barron. It is a good read, intriguing, and sets the stage for further learning. Maybe he could get the series that accompany the book. I watched only the first episode and it was amazing.

“Catholicism for Dummies” is also very good.
 
All wonderful answers. When someone comes to the Catholic faith out of interest, I can’t help but think that the Holy Spirit is guiding him, which tells me that he or she may be ready to join the Catholic faith. Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and strength to help him.

One thing that has always intrigued me about converts is that they have been subjected to the church in some way. But usually it is our rituals that they see first and that often can seem strange to an outsider. It’s important to show them that our faith is far more than just rituals, I think. They should see that we believe in silently showing God to others through our actions, love, and patience.
 
dje101 said:
… What are some things I can do to be supportive and helpful without going overboard?

Thanks in advance!!
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You might consider giving him a gift of the catechism. Going to mass is a good thing, but looking at it from a non-Catholic viewpoint, except for the homily, it might be difficult to understand. [Some homilies can even be a turn - off.] Same for reading the Bible initially. It would be impossible for someone to read the Bible on his own and get the catechism out of it. Another thing you might do is talk to a priest and ask his advice on how to approach the situation.
 
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