Ideas for Christmas gifts

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adamhovey1988

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Hey y’all, my brother’s wife has left him, and he’s having a bit of a hard time, he’s got six kids that live with him, so I’m trying to help him out with the Christmas shopping , and I agree it’s too early to talk about Christmas, I’m one of those people that hate when people start celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving (American one), but this is something that I kind of need help with. Let me tell you how old the kids are, because the oldest one is 13 , and a girl, the second oldest is 11, and also a girl, the next one is a boy and he is ten, and he has an 8 year old girl, and then a 7 year old boy, and a four year old boy. Keeping in mind, I don’t have a lot of money, what would be good gifts for them based on y’all’s observations? I know that’s a bit of a vague question, because none of y’all know them. I’m not a parent, so doing a parent thing is kind of difficult for me.
 
He believes in God and is a former atheist, I got his oldest daughter a Douay Rheims Bible for Christmas one year (which he reads) but he is not yet a Catholic. He’s got a ton of rosaries at his house, though 🙂, and he did go to a couple of Catholic schools (keep in mind, I am a convert). Keep in mind, at this moment, I don’t have a lot to spend. With his financial difficulties, I just want to help him, I can afford to get them all something small.
 
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That’s really tough, Adam, both for your brother, and for the children.
My son was left to raise two children not six, though my Dad was left with nine ranging down to four years old when my mother died so as eldest at home, all fell on me.
I did have an income after Mum died, and bought all the younger kids birthday and Christmas gifts until Dad remarried, along with much of the groceries. He was never the wiser when he’d ask what he owed me and I’d mention a small fraction of what I’d actually spent, but with my grandchildren I had much less money, but helped all I could, and some Christmases I bought all the gifts for my son to place under the tree from him, as when business was bad, sometimes my son needed help even just for necessities. But he had only two children, not six.

Money is easiest, in avoiding the stress of what to give that is meaningful to the children, but children will look for gifts under the tree,
I think you might need to have a realistic discussion with the children, asking what they’d like Dad to give them, and explaining that funds are limited. Or a discussion with your brother deciding a division of gift giving between you, with an agreed amount spent on each child.

There is just no easy answer, Adam. I wish there were.
Buying the right Christmas gifts can be a nightmare even for parents, even without financial considerations. And your brother will be under all kinds of pressure. It’s not fair what has happened to your brother or his children. I’ll keep them in my prayers, and regarding how you can help, it’s not a lot of practical help but I’ll pray God guides you
 
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He would not have a problem with those, not sure about the kids though.
 
Yes. The eleven year old and ten year old read fantasy books.
 
@(name removed by moderator)l’s idea that was suggested of games to share is good as one gift or two, if it or both can involve all or some of the divergent ages of the children.
The religious items suggested, if given as gifts, I’d be disinclined to give them as Christmas gifts, they’re more in the nature of giving as non-birthday, non- Christmas gifts. I come from a family where children abound, my parents leave a legacy of seventy descendants, and while some would be happy to receive a religious gift, not for Christmas or birthdays., but at other times, with explanations of the nature of the religious gift, rosary, holy picture, etc, yes, but not as Christmas or birthday gifts. I’d have said that in a PM not on the open forum, but you seem to has disabled your message facility, Adam.
@(name removed by moderator) is genuinely and abundantly holier than I am, but I’m just speaking from ooodles of experiences with children
 
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Ask their dad what they would like, and maybe see if a local charity could work with you.

I agree with not giving religious items as Christmas gifts. It’s just not the right moment for that. The board game is a nice idea, but with such a spread from age 13 to age 7 and 4 it’s going to be hard to find something they would all equally enjoy.

If the kids like to read books, then a used bookstore is often a nice place to get gently used children’s books that won’t cost a lot of money, and you can get something appropriate for each age and interest of child. I have done this for church “giving tree” drives where the ornament one picks from the tree requests books. The books sold by such stores often look close to brand new and are sold at a fraction of the cost of new.

Speaking from my own experience, kids can get excited about relatively inexpensive items if it’s something that relates to their interests or that they just personally find really cool.
 
13 year old girl, a journal and some gel pens.

11 year old girl, a “fancy” coloring book https://www.amazon.com/Coloring-Boo...ords=teen+coloring+book&qid=1573945811&sr=8-7 and markers

10 year old boy, RC toys, if he is into sports get a ball or some other gear

8 year old girl, a purse and hair barrettes

7 year old boy, a toy car or a action hero (Toy Story is popular)

4 year old boy, Duplo or age appropriate puzzle or stuffed animal

Practical gifts, socks for everyone, a cool family game like Catan or a gift like passes to a local museum.
 
You’d be surprised at the kinds of nice things one can purchase in thrift shops or senior center rummage sales. I have found clothing, shoes and purses at ours that have been in mint condition, either new or maybe used once or twice, then donated. Toys can be found that way, too. People often will buy things, find out they don’t fit well or look right on them, or that they don’t really like them, and will donate them to thrift shops with very little or no use. The secret is to carefully inspect them to be sure they aren’t stained, torn, or damaged in any way. One can get these things for a mere fraction of what they would cost in a regular retail establishment.

There are private thrift shops and the well-known public ones such as Goodwill or Salvation Army. Our area is full of thrift shops and senior centers that have their own. I’ve gotten lots of nice things there, and this could be a good way to go if your budget is very tight.

What about clothing for the kids? Do they have favorite styles and colors in things that would fit them?

I would try looking into these outlets – just be careful that whatever you purchase there is of good quality and condition. The kids don’t have to know the items are “used”, and won’t know that if they don’t look used.
 
What if you buy some type of “pass” someplace so you + them can go there and have fun a handful of times throughout the year? One location for Six kids of those ages is a tallllllll order, but maybe they would all enjoy a trampoline park pass, a big gift card to an ice cream shop w/ a promise that they all get to go there with you once a month, a gift card to a movie theatre and each kid gets one-on-one time with you at a movie of their choice sometime during the year. Just a few ideas!
 
That is a splendid idea.

Gifting kids with experiences instead of material things can enrich their lives in special ways that just accumulating things cannot.

Here’s the caveat: If you’re going to give kids opportunities for special experiences, let them actually HAVE those experiences.

When I was around seven years old, my folks said they had a special “surprise” for me. It was actually a reward for eating all of the lunch my mother had packed for me for school. The surprise, they said, was, “We’re going to the snow.” It was a trip into the mountains where snow had accumulated in the higher elevations. In southern California, that was a novelty, as we rarely got snow in the valleys where we lived.

They drove me and my sister up into the mountains, and at every turn, I could see kids outside playing in the snow, building snowmen, making snowballs, and having some of the best times of their lives.

It wasn’t particularly cold, yet my parents wouldn’t let me actually go out and play in the snow. They wouldn’t allow me to partake firsthand of that special experience. Their idea of “going to the snow” was to just drive around and view the scenery. I wasn’t allowed to actually DO anything. I never actually got to HAVE the experience of playing in that snow.

Instead of being rewarded, I felt I was being punished by being denied the full participation all of those other kids were enjoying. Neither I nor my sister were allowed to go outside. It was strictly looking – and no more.

If parents are going to gift their kids with experiences and then say “NO” when they want to actually HAVE those experiences, what’s the point? It’s like dangling candy in front of them then yanking it away when they try to reach for it. It’s a dirty trick, it’s unfair, and a little bit cruel.

That’s the caveat. Don’t offer special experiences to kids if you don’t intend to let them participate fully in those experiences. I guarantee that if you deny them what you originally offered them, they will feel robbed and betrayed. And that’s NO GIFT, at all!
 
Agree.

One year my mom gave each of us a “coupon” for one hour of her time, every week, when we would have her “all to ourselves”. We could choose what to do, I chose sewing or needlepoint. That was the most precious gift I ever received from mom.
 
Jan that is SO SAD!!! Even when we took our (southern) kids to see snow in the mountains in summer and we didn’t even have coats, we wrapped up in beach towels and let them play out there until they were too cold (which was like five minutes!) but hey - they had five minutes!! I’m really REALLY sorry for your childhood heartache!!
 
Thank you for your understanding.

I hope that having related this true story will have the positive effect of reminding parents how important it is to treat their kids fairly, and prevent the same thing from happening to other children. Life is short. We all need to make the most of it – and be ALLOWED to make the most of it – from the cradle to the grave.
 
I would reccomend necessities. If any of the kids need clothes, I would consider that. Maybe get each kid one thing that you can afford. You could also give your brother a gift card for a store that they go to often (maybe Target, Walmart, or if your brother does home impovements, Lowe’s or Home Depot). If your brother shops on Amazon often, an Amazon Gift Card could be useful. If the brother and/or kids are religious, consider getting each kid a Rosary that is reasonably priced.

God bless

God bless
 
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