If A Person Can Not Have Children

[Jennifer_G]

A woman would need to have a vagina. The uterus is related to infertility which is not an impediment. The vagina is related to the impotence. There must be hope that the couple is able to engage in the marital act. On extremely rare occaisions couples are permitted to marry who will engage in the marital act. They still must be able to perform it.

I always thought both were the same (I was born without any reproductive organs formed). I had a gynocologist say that they could perform an operation to create a (“fake”) opening, but then that would’ve been nothing more than just skin tucked inward. This was suggested back when I was barely a teenager. (It was even suggested by the same gynocologist that it was “ok” to date people of the same gender (as if not having a given organ meant I could that…), to which I refused.) For medical reference, I was born with two “specks” as my mom told me long ago, just they never developed after the 2nd month in the womb.

Gee, that’s a shame if a person who is impotent cannot get married. Sounds like even more of a punishment. Guess that means that an elderly person with a problem has to live out his or her remaining days alone.

I don’t really see it as “punishment”, but I have thought about when I’m older. Plus the fact that I also have a hearing loss, vision impairment and don’t drive, then it’s a bit harder. I don’t want to sit around in a retirement home for 30-40 years (I enjoy going to church frequently, going to confession, adoration, prayer/Bible Study groups, etc.). I have one sister, but she’s not even the least bit interested in having any kids.

I’ve actually thought about the religious life (I’ve only been Catholic for 9 months, though, but if I could choose, I think I would be a Discalced Carmelite) since then, I would be able to be with a group of people that prays, works, and reads scripture together, and when I get old, at least have the chance of having Last Rites (or Annoiting of the Sick, and confession/eucharist). (I don’t know if my disabilities would actually be an impedement to that, though - would be strange to have vows of celibacy if you lack some body parts… almost feels like cheating…). Then there’s my State job (I’m a computer programmer) in a place that helps people with disabilities. But then, that starts going into another topic for another subform.

 

[theistgal]

Yes, but elderly people also need the closeness of marriage.

What about elderly people who aren’t impotent but just never managed to get married for some other reason? What about elderly people who did get married, but whose spouses died, or got Alzheimer’s, or are otherwise incapable of providing that closeness? What about elderly people who are victims of spousal abuse?

Marriage isn’t a magical cure-all for loneliness in old age (or in any other time of life). Sure, it’s great if you have a good marriage and your spouse is still there to take care of you. But what elderly people (and the rest of us!) really need are loving friends and family.

 

[yellowbicycle]

Known permanent untreatable impotence prior to marriage is a bar to getting married in the Catholic Church.

If my fiance were in an accident and as a result of the accident, I had to leave him or not get married in the church…how does that please God? How does that please ANYBODY, really?
Should I tell him while he’s in the hospital recovering, or wait until he’s healed?
Dang.

 

[PJM]

If a man is completely impotent through an injury should he get married?

If a woman cannot have children through infertility or through some kind of injury, should she get married?

The Conditional answer is “yes.”

Keep in mind that every cross is too a blessing. God does not, cannot cause any evil or “bad” but does allow such things to happen to manifest His greater Glory.

One need only look at the many miacles of Jesus to see evidence of such.

Both parties would have to be counseled and in free agreement to such a marriage.

Sexual relations would still be not only permitted, but encourage, as God is the only one authorized to make “Life and Death” decissions.

Within a Sacramnetal marriage of husband and wife, sexual relations are like “marriage cement.” Indeed we are not to refuse one another with out a truly just cause.

God bless,

PJM m.c.

 

[thistle]

If my fiance were in an accident and as a result of the accident, I had to leave him or not get married in the church…how does that please God? How does that please ANYBODY, really?
Should I tell him while he’s in the hospital recovering, or wait until he’s healed?
Dang.

That’s the comment of a person wanting to bend God to their will because they don’t want to do God’s will.

 

[Lee_M]

Oh yeah, here is the flip side of it - if you are living exactly as you are supposed to be and being celibate outside of marriage you have no way of knowing you are impotent until you get to marriage unless you had some gross injury - like something is missing but I don’t want to be vulgar so please don’t delve into that because that is not my point.

Trust me, a guy will know he is impotent even if he is living a saintly life. There’s no way of not knowing.

 

[Lee_M]

That’s the comment of a person wanting to bend God to their will because they don’t want to do God’s will.

How do you know this is God’s will? I believe this is a Canon Law and canon laws can be changed.

 

[1ke]

How do you know this is God’s will? I believe this is a Canon Law and canon laws can be changed.

Some of canon law is disciplinary and can be changed. Some of canon law merely reiterates divine law and cannot be changed.

Much, though not all, of the law surrounding the Sacraments is divine law and unchangeable-- form and matter for example. Those restrictions on the Sacraments that are disciplinary can be dispensed. Those that are divine law cannot.

 

[Lee_M]

Some of canon law is disciplinary and can be changed. Some of canon law merely reiterates divine law and cannot be changed.

Much, though not all, of the law surrounding the Sacraments is divine law and unchangeable-- form and matter for example. Those restrictions on the Sacraments that are disciplinary can be dispensed. Those that are divine law cannot.

Thanks for the clarification.

 

[yellowbicycle]

That’s the comment of a person wanting to bend God to their will because they don’t want to do God’s will.

Not interested in changing God’s will. I am interested in understanding. It helps me be a better Catholic.

 

[nablaise]

If a man is completely impotent through an injury should he get married?

If a woman cannot have children through infertility or through some kind of injury, should she get married?

I think the point of marriage is FAMILY. People get married to raise a family. If the two people are completely truthful to each other and want to live together in love raising a family, the Church would not prevent them being married. They can adopt kids for example and raise them.

The point of marriage is not sex, but family (fruitful love of a man and a woman). Plus who knows, God may give them a miracle and the impotent may be healed, same for the infertile…I think what the Church considers is whether it is a man and woman, and that they are truthful to each other.

God bless