If deacons can't marry, should they date?

[AnyFriendofGod]

I was viewing a dating website recently and was very surprised to see that a local deacon has an account on the website. His wife is no longer living. I had understood that a married man can become a deacon, but that if his wife dies, he is not free to remarry. Am I mistaken on that? If I am correct, isn’t it inappropriate for him to be seeking relationships with women? I read his profile and he never mentions that he is looking for friendship only or that he is not free to marry.

 

[Fr.Charles_Grondin]

While the general norm is that a deacon cannot remarry, widowed deacons can petition Rome for a dispensation to remarry (canon 1078 §2, 1). The grounds for the dispensation are usually that the widowed deacon has children that he will need help raising. However there could also be other unique circumstances that would lead Rome to grant the dispensation to remarry.

If the deacon in question has not received permission to remarry then his presence on a dating site is potentially scandalous and definitely raises questions about his commitment to diaconate ministry. But if he does have permission then he’s not really doing anything wrong.

If this is an issue in the parish then you might want to respectfully and quietly bring this to the attention of the pastor.