If friends don't acknowledge baptism gift, should I ask about it?

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EnglishTeacher

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This isn’t the biggest deal in the world, but it’s been bugging me a little, so thought I would throw it out there.

My husband and I were asked to be godparents of our friends’ baby. We were very honored and excited about it. I spent a lot of time thinking about and looking for what to give our godchild as a memento of her baptism, and ended up getting her what I thought was a special, beautiful little gift that I put a lot of thought into (and while it wasn’t extravagant, it wasn’t cheap either).

We are in contact with these friends regularly and have seen them several times since the baptism, but neither of them have mentioned the present in any way. It wasn’t that I was expecting a huge thank you, but I would have just liked to know that they liked the present. Should I ask them about it? Feeling kind of deflated.
 
People get busy, especially with a new baby! Honestly many people were not taught as children to send Thank-You notes and the rules of etiquette give a year to send Thank You notes!

When you give a gift simply give it. If you get it acknowledged, it is a nice surprise.
 
I’m sure you’re right. But I actually didn’t even really expect a thank-you note. We see them often (and have seen them multiple times since the baptism), so I thought they would mention it. I was excited about the gift that I found, so maybe I was unreasonably expecting them to be excited about it too. I just thought they would like it enough to mention it, at least.
 
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People nowadays just don’t seem to know how to respond appropriately. I understand how you feel - a “thank you” was clearly warranted!

I like the other posters advice - when you give a gift, just give it. Don’t expect to hear anything back. Assume that it was appreciated.

We recently gave a $200 gift for a wedding present, and we never heard ANYTHING back from the couple. We’re trying to just let it go (of course, we haven’t said anything to them) but it does seem really rude! Oh well, it is what it is I guess…

Julie
 
With weddings, it can take a long time to write all the thank you notes, so you may well hear back yet. 😊 Maybe I will too, for that matter.
 
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OP, what were the circumstances of how the gift was given? Was it handed to them but they opened it later when you weren’t there? Did they say thank you in person?

If you weren’t there, you might just casually ask them about it to be certain they got it if it was left in a pile on a table.

“Hey, I keep forgetting to ask when I see you…did you get “baby’s” gift from us? I hope you liked it!”
 
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I handed it to them wrapped at the baptism, and presumably they opened it later at home. There was no gift pile or anything like that.

I think I probably will casually ask about it. I just thought they would bring it up, but maybe they forgot about it already or something.
 
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They should have thanked you (I am a big fan of written thank you notes, even though people don’t seem to do that much anymore). However, I would let it go. You know they got it, because you handed it to them. So asking them whether they opened it or liked it seems weird and puts them on the spot, and seems like fishing for a compliment. It’s likely they are busy with their baby and just forgot- give them the benefit of the doubt and let them bring it up, if they are going to.
 
Something occurred to me. If a gift was mailed and a box was stolen from a front porch and they never received it…perhaps asking them if they received it would be correct?

Even with all these tracking methods things could happen.
 
EnglishTeacher said:
Should I ask them about it? Feeling kind of deflated.
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If you know they received it, such as personally giving it to them, no. If you mailed it, you can ask if they received it.

Rude people who don’t write thank you notes or call to thank you deflate me too.
 
I grew up in a home that didn’t teach expressing gratitude (we said thank you in person, but never notes or making an effort to acknowledge after the fact). I was horrified as an adult to realize how many people may have thought I didn’t like what had I had received or that I was intentionally snubbing them. Since then I am diligent about it and teach my children to do the same.

So I would not assume intentional rudeness - especially after a baby, and even more especially after a first baby, because your world turns upside down. She may have even thought she said something already. Baby brain is real!

If you are very close, I think you can casually ask without it being a big deal.
 
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