If husband is sterile, is it a sin to use another to father child for couple?

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atrapa

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Hi-
My wife and i desperately want to have another child, but sadly I can no longer produce one and according to the urologist it can’t be remedied.
Although we don’t agree with artificial insemination or like methods we have discussed doing so naturally which would involve copulation with another man for impregnation. Obviously, there is a conflict since we are married and doing so technically would be adultery, although we contend this is all consentual and for the purpose of procreation and the gift of a child. I have searched scripture and basically found Abraham’s story woth Sarah and Hagar. Any insight is appreciated.
 
A Marriage is between one man and one woman. It’s a sacrament. Involving another person in that is as you said adultery. It is sad that you would like another child but won’t be able to naturally. A child is a gift and we cannot pick and choose when they are given.
 
If the four promises (free, full, faithful, and fruitful) could be set aside if both husband and wife agreed, divorce would be acceptable. After all, if husband and wife both agree…

The promise is between the two of you and God. Even if you agree, does He?
 
YES, very sinful. Think how awful to be a child and know that is how you came into this world. You will hate your wife for this. She will hate you for agreeing to it(even if both of you are desperate enough to do this now you will regret later). Plenty of children are brought into the world through accident into an abnormal or difficult situation, as was I, it only makes it worse when it is done on purpose.

If you really want a child then look to adoption.
 
“Forsaking all others…” I’d assume would’ve been part of your vows, and,
it would be adultery, regardless of consent because marriage is a Sacrament between 1 man and 1 woman.
As others here state, look to adopt.
I will pray for ya all. Please don’t do what you mentioned.
 
Adoption is the only way you can have a Child, without sin and the trouble that always accompanies it. Don’t do it, look into adoption.
 
By the way, another element of this.

From the title: “…is it a sin to use another…”

Yes. Because you really would be using him.
 
atrapa said:
I have searched scripture and basically found Abraham’s story with Sarah and Hagar. Any insight is appreciated.
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And look how well that went – we have Israel-Arab conflict still over 2000 years later.
We adopted two children, and they are doing fairly well. Life is rocky for them, but would be worse if they’d never been adopted. Consider the difference you could make in a child’s life who thinks no one cares about him and he’s worthless. Adoption is not for everyone, but for those who can, it’s a life-changer.
 
Thank you all for taking the time to reply with your sincere responses. Just to note- we have and are still considering adoption, although there are some caveats that we’re trying to tease out and evaluate on whether or not we’ll do it; and I have already visited with fertility specialists who have likewise said the tank is empty. Not ruling out the option of this discussion yet, but we will continue to pray about it and whatever happens we will accept it.
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
Would you not consider donor insemination from an anonymous donor, rather than your wife having sex with another fella?
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You should not suggest something like that on a Catholic forum, even if you personaly agree with artificial insemation.

It is not better, it is equal, or even worst, as it is unatural- separation from sexuality and procreation and marriage and the father is anonymous.
 
Thanks for clarifying, but the way you worded it was very suggestive. “Consider” not being past. You even said your “suggestion” when noting it is a sin to the Church.

Would you not consider donor insemination from an anonymous donor, rather than your wife having sex with another fella? … Note: if you are Catholic, the Catholic Church teaches that what I have suggested is a sin.
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But as long as you didnt mean to suggest, as in recommending or encouraging, and make that clear, that’s good.
 
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