If ones vocation is marriage, does God assist in finding a spouse?

  • Thread starter Thread starter _Gemma
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

_Gemma

Guest
I became Christian when I was 18 (from being agnostic) and now I’m in RCIA, I’ve never had a boyfriend, I always wanted one when I was younger but never met the right guy. During the past couple of years (I’m 21 now) I have been just focused on my studies and God and thought I didn’t want to get married. But now I’m thinking I do want to find someone. I have a big distrust in men though because my parents divorced when I was a child and my household was full of violence and abuse and when my mother separated with my dad she dated many men off the internet and these were not nice men. It made me really dislike and distrust men.
I’m ok with being single but I think my thoughts of staying single are actually fear from being hurt.
so my question is, If I am called to marriage, then will God let me meet a man at the right time? will God assist in finding me a correct partner?
 
My experience is that, yes, He will…you just need to ask Him and be patient. Also, do not assume that if you ask, then the next “great guy” you meet will be the “one”. As with all things, be prudent, patient, discerning, and involve God in ALL things. 🙂
 
I can relate to the original poster, I did not know Gods plan for me, I knew He had a plan I just needed to wait and see!
Gods plan did bring me the man of my dreams. Pray,pray and pray some more! Don’t try to achieve marriage at all costs, let the right man be the reason to get married.
Since you came from a broken home, try to find out what went wrong and identify red flags when you date, the stats are that people are drawn to what they know.
God bless:)
 
Hello Gemma,
Yes, God can and does guide you in this sort of thing. You’ll have to ask Him for help. I’ve posted my story a couple of times before, but I’ll post it here again for you:

A couple years after my conversion to Christ, I moved to another state and opened a restaurant. I was lonely there, living by myself, so I got face down on the floor and prayed to God to send me a man I could love, who loves me back, someone I’m compatible with. I wasn’t having any luck finding someone on my own. About 4 months later, a stranger came in my restaurant, ordered a sandwich and sat down. He was the only customer in the shop. There were just three of us present: myself, my sister, and this stranger. It was very quiet in this small restaurant, which was a converted cabin, when suddenly I heard a loud, audible voice coming from directly behind me that stated, “YOU’RE GOING TO MARRY HIM”. It was a real, physical voice that I heard with my ears, it was not a thought in my head. It startled the heck out of me, but I wasn’t scared. I noticed it was genderless. I couldn’t tell if it was male or female. It sounded neither. And I was astonished that my sister and the stranger hadn’t heard it. None of us was more than four feet apart from one another. The next day, the stranger came back in and asked me out. We both knew instantly that we had found our soul mate. About two weeks later I told him about the voice. He looked startled and then said,"I wasn’t going to tell you this because I was afraid you’d think I’m crazy, but since you brought it up, I’ll tell you. I remember that day in your restaurant very well. That same night, I had a very vivid dream. I was standing alone in a room when suddenly a voice boomed out, “YOU’VE JUST MET YOUR WIFE”. He went on to say “I woke up and had a very warm, content feeling and knew the dream was about you, and I knew I had to come back to see you” This was 21 years ago. We’re still inseparable. On top of it all, he’s Catholic and brought me back into the Church. I like to joke that he’s my “gift from God”! 😃
 
I would say yes. God certainly can assist in finding a spouse. Especially if you pray and ask Him for that assistance.

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Mark 10:9) Douay-Rheims Bible

Also, you may pray and ask for the intercession of Saints. St. Raphael comes to mind here. St. Raphael can intercede for you to find a spouse. Here are two prayers:

Prayer to Saint Raphael, Angel of Happy Meetings

O Raphael, lead us towards those we are waiting for, those who are
waiting for us! Raphael, Angel of Happy Meetings, lead us by the hand
towards those we are looking for! May all our movements, all their
movements, be guided by your Light and transfigured by your joy.

Angel guide of Tobias, lay the request we now address to you at the feet
of Him on whose unveiled Face you are privileged to gaze. Lonely and
tired, crushed by the separations and sorrows of earth, we feel the need
of calling to you and of pleading for the protection of your wings, so
that we may not be as strangers in the Province of Joy, all ignorant of
the concerns of our country.

Remember the weak, you who are strong–you whose home lies beyond the
region of thunder, in a land that is always peaceful, always serene, and
bright with the resplendent glory of God.
Amen.

Prayer to St. Raphael: For the Choice of a Good Spouse

St. Raphael, you were sent by God to guide young Tobiah in choosing a good and virtuous spouse. Please help me in this important choice which will affect my whole future. You not only directed Tobiah in finding a wife, but you also gave him guidelines which should be foremost in every Christian marriage: “Pray together before making important decisions.” If through prayer we keep God as the “third Partner” in our marriage, we will have the strength and grace we need to always accept and do His will. Amen.
Pray 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary, 1 Glory be…
 
As with all things, God will assist you.

As with all things, you will need to make a decision, to forgive and trust, or not.

I have kept grudges and clung to mistrust as well, so pray for me. These things have hurt me, more than it has the other person.
 
Thank you everyone who has posted so far.

I’m not praying for a husband but I’m now praying that God will lead me to the right choice and if it’s will for me to marry, to find that person when the time is right.

It’s nice hearing others stories (like Boomerang’s) so feel free to post them 🙂
 
God has plan for all of us. We may feel that god does not work at our pace and that he’s behind, but what he’s doing is that he’s setting you up, to be with the right person. It might not be tomorrow or by the end of the summer. God puts your life priorities in order. probably right now he feel that studies has a higher priority than a relationship.

Like were told, put your life in God’s hands bc he will lead you to success.
 
Considering that at the time we met we lived in different countries on different continents, I’d have to say that yes, God will assist you in finding a spouse if you are indeed called to marriage. I would venture that God does not call people to a vocation and then make it impossible for them to answer that call.

Whenever I complain about The Husband, my priest—after throwing his hands up in exasperation, rolling his eyes and sighing heavily :p—reminds me that God guided the two of us to each other. That’s what the Lord does: guide. But the final decision is always up to us.
 
That’s kind of like asking if God will feed you. God provides for your needs, but you have to do your part. After all, you’re the servant, not God. So pray to God and row away from the rocks.

I would suggest you see a counselor about your feelings towards men, though. Married or not, you would be wise to learn an appropriate level of wariness, to learn how to decide who to trust based on how they act and not an accident like gender, how to draw boundaries without strife, and that kind of thing. These are the skills and the self-confidence, the healing and the growth, that will serve you well through life, married or not.
 
_Gemma said:
Thank you everyone who has posted so far.

I’m not praying for a husband but I’m now praying that God will lead me to the right choice and if it’s will for me to marry, to find that person when the time is right.
Click to expand...
You’re very wise.

Work on becoming the best person you can be and pray that a future spouse (if it’s God’s plan) will do the same. 👍
 
_Gemma said:
I became Christian when I was 18 (from being agnostic) and now I’m in RCIA, I’ve never had a boyfriend, I always wanted one when I was younger but never met the right guy. During the past couple of years (I’m 21 now) I have been just focused on my studies and God and thought I didn’t want to get married. But now I’m thinking I do want to find someone. I have a big distrust in men though because my parents divorced when I was a child and my household was full of violence and abuse and when my mother separated with my dad she dated many men off the internet and these were not nice men. It made me really dislike and distrust men.
I’m ok with being single but I think my thoughts of staying single are actually fear from being hurt.
so my question is, If I am called to marriage, then will God let me meet a man at the right time? will God assist in finding me a correct partner?
Click to expand...
I think finding a spouse is like finding a job. Your social network will come in handy. You can ask God to be your guide but be prepared to do a lot of legwork. Be patient and don’t let fear rule your life. I should know. I let fear rule my life for so long and it still is a struggle for me not to fall into panic and then despair when I let fear overwhelm me.
 
When marriage is your vocation, like it is mine, God practically forces your spouse on you! God kept creating situations where I would run into my husband. I sang in the choir and a position for a piano player opened at the church, I knew my “friend” (now husband) was a piano player, he got the job. I got in a car accident and suffered a head injury, guess who took care of me? I lost my job, guess who came to the rescue? I kept telling him, "I don’t want a relationship. He said, “That’s fine. I just want to be here for you.” Well, God kept putting me in positions where I “needed” him. I even moved to a town far away to get some space but God lead him to the town where I lived via a job. We ended up having so much in common and being so compatible. No matter how much I fought the relationship, God was determined to make it happen. When I met him he wasn’t a practicing Catholic but now he is in the Knights of Columbus, a Cursillesta, the music director for seven churches and on the diocesan board for World Mission Day.

“When God opens a door, no one shuts it and when God closes a door, no one opens it.” ~ my Dad.

There is no need to worry about finding your spouse. God makes it happen in His perfect timing.
 
Sarcelle said:
**I think finding a spouse is like finding a job. **Your social network will come in handy. You can ask God to be your guide but be prepared to do a lot of legwork. Be patient and don’t let fear rule your life. I should know. I let fear rule my life for so long and it still is a struggle for me not to fall into panic and then despair when I let fear overwhelm me.
Click to expand...
Totally disagree. We don’t have to “work” to find love. It is a gift from God. . .IF we ask Him and let Him work. I agree we should be doing out part: frequenting the sacraments, going to church, positioning ourselves (ladies), being intentional about asking ladies out (men), and praying. However, marriage is more about God’s grace than our “work.”
 
There is no reason to exclude that part of life from the general belief that God does indeed assist us in His providence. He also provides us legs to go out, eyes to see things and brains to figure it all out. 😛
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top