If you have the time

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john78

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A bit of venting here, but in the end I do appreciate any (name removed by moderator)ut, and also anyone who would consider me in their upcoming prayers.

I am stressed out, My wonderful mother is getting older and it is pretty much me taking care of her, on top of that I am trying to finish college starting this summer. Well things were going fine until we find out now my mom needs a surgery, nothing life threatening but I am sure eveyone knows that any surgery where they keep ya in the hospital for a day or two to recovery can be stressful plus you have to deal with recovery time after that.

So of course the surgery comes right on the heels of me getting back into college after 2 yrs of dropping out, right smack in the middle of May, and I have it all week Mon to Thursday 1pm till close to 10 pm with tentative breaks and an hour in between.

but that isn’t all, I am trying to enter into a good discernment process to lead me to a vocation, and for me the first part before i even come close to saying what vocation to head towards is finishing my A.A.S degree which wont take long ( in theory ).

And the thing is, I get so wound up with stress and having to take care of my mom and now trying to balance college too, that praying ends up taking a backseat, not because I am lazy, but because I am so stressed out. I can not honestly go to church and pray in adoration after arguing with my mom, or getting worked up over some nonsense because my head and heart is just not in the right place for it, and im not going to be entering into prayer in peace to begin with and my mind will be too clouded to pray properly or be calm.

And it is frustrating, I cant even balance my own life/schedule to attend adoration on a weekly basis or attend mass other than Sunday, the alarm clock goes off and i turn over, n go back to sleep, or i cant wake up, so i guess i am lacking a bit of disipline at the moment on top of patience.

I would turn to my siblings for help in caring for my mom but they have their own lives to deal with, one living in Europe, the other is financially un able to travel and is married living in Miami, and the youngest works non stop and is too immature to understand why it is important to talk to her employers and explain that she needs more flexibility to help out at home.

So it is just me. I get to be, son, care taker, and companion. All while trying to regain the patience that i have lost, returning to college, and some how folding in or rather making a life change into a discernment/ vocation.

And I cant help feel like i am being tested in a way, to see if I have what it takes to live a religious life.

But I do also realize there is no smooth sailing, things will always come up that will be stressful, I guess what I am asking for is the mental and spiritual strength to be able to handle it.
 
I will keep you and your family in my prayers, John.

**Philippians 4:6-7 **
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 
John, I sympathize with your struggle and want you to know that this is only temporary. I didn’t finish college until I I was 30, it it was a long, hard slog.

If you can find a moment of quiet time to pray, to reflect, and ask for the Lord’s blessing, I highly recommend it, perhaps before the tabernacle or during Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. Don’t let the stress keep you down. This may be an opportunity to grow closer to your mom, and with some planning and her support, you can continue your education.

Graduation day will be here before you know it, whether this year or a few years down the road. Stay strong and keep asking the Lord for His help. God bless you!

:crossrc:

Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.

Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ. Rest your weary ones. Bless your dying ones. Soothe your suffering ones. Pity your afflicted ones. Shield your joyous ones. And for all your love’s sake. Amen.

O gracious God, You are wonderful in all of your abundant blessings. Thank you for all caregivers, doctors, nurses, family, and friends. Thank you for giving them strength and patience, courage and dedication, and loving service. Like St. Peregrine, caregivers remind us of the miracles of Jesus Christ: taking care of the sick, nourishing the poor in spirit, healing the blind and the lame, encouraging the downtrodden, comforting the sorrowing, and giving risen life to the weak. In a special way O gracious God, continue to send your Holy Spirit upon all caregivers this day. May their relationships with the sick and needy together grace one another with greater health, support, and loving-kindness. Amen.

I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take my cause into your hands. I praise and bless the Lord for giving you to us as patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore John’s lost serenity and peace of mind. May He speak to his heart and reassure him: “My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid.” Pray for him, dear St. Dymphna, that his nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that he may again know serenity and personal peace. Amen.

:crossrc:
 
You are in my prayers.

Almighty God, I pray that thou wilt sustain John
when he may be enduring for a purpose,
and to accomplish it seems beyond his strength.
Renew him with courage, and give him unceasing hope, and
faith that is able to hold out to the end.
Amen.

Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight,
and give Your angels and saints charge over those who sleep.

Tend Your sick ones, O Lord Christ.
Rest Your weary ones.
Bless Your dying ones.
Soothe Your suffering ones.
Pity Your afflicted ones.
Shield Your joyous ones, and all for Your love’s sake.
Amen.
:crossrc:
 
Lord, please help John to wake up for weekday Mass and help him to care for his mother. Weekday Mass is very important for someone who is discerning a vocation, please help him to know this. Please grant him strength, courage, peace, the deepest faith, surrender to your holy Will and abandonment to your divine Providence. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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