If your pet could speak English, what would you ask it?

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Tommy999

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I love my two dogs and am convinced they are good for my physical and mental health. They are both rescues and lab mixes. One is a lab/border collie mix named Petey and the other is a lab/Akita mix named Lucy. Sometimes I wish my dogs could speak English so I could ask them a few basic questions, such as:
  1. Why such a fascination with squirrels? Both dogs seem to be obsessed with catching them as if squirrels were coated in gold or something.
2). Come on, now. Do you really think that the token kick of dirt and grass after you do your business is really going to cover it up? Really?

3). What did I ever do to deserve the affection, devotion, and loyalty that you give me?
 
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Why do you need to supervise me cleaning out your cage?
 
Don’t know. Oddly, I speak English only but speak to my dogs in a German accent. Don’t know why.
 
I like it (German accent). My wife likes to baby talk to ours, but I don’t, except for asking, “Want some yummies?” when it is time to eat. They definitely know what that means.
 
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Why are you afraid of the kitten? I know she is a powerful creature but she’s literally 1/20th your size.
 
Why do you chew on your toenails after scratching your ear?

Seriously why
 
“Do you really like ME, or is it just because I pet and feed you?”
 
I talk to my dogs in French and English, I can only imagine them telling me that they don’t speak French
 
I would ask my beloved dog, Chloe:

“what did you look like as a puppy”?
“how did your tail get injured”?
“why were you roaming the streets”?
“did you know your picture was on the internet”?
“do you know I consider you a little Blessing”?
💟
 
What was life like before you were put in the shelter?
Why does thunder scare you so much?
 
If my dog spoke English I’d be pretty surprised considering I don’t speak English at home
 
Tommy999 said:
  1. Why such a fascination with squirrels? Both dogs seem to be obsessed with catching them as if squirrels were coated in gold or something.
2). Come on, now. Do you really think that the token kick of dirt and grass after you do your business is really going to cover it up? Really?

3). What did I ever do to deserve the affection, devotion, and loyalty that you give me?
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I can answer these!
  1. Because of those bushy, twitchy tails…and they chirp at me and I really want to get that chirper out of them like my other toys.
  2. I’m not kicking the dirt to cover my business. I’m spreading the aroma so all know that I WAS HERE…and did my business…
  3. I know where the food comes from…duh!
 
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